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Ending Violence Against Women (II) … Some Practices That Constitute Violence

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Harmful traditional/customary practices – These are · Customary discrimination in property inheritance and acquisition.

· Harmful widowhood practices – for example, shaving of head, wearing of mourning clothes (black), not bathing with water and soap for some period of time, drinking bath water of late husband. These are inhuman, degrading and humiliating treatments and sometimes the widow is not allowed to remarry the person of her choice.

· Female genital mutilation/cutting – A harmful practice which lowers the self-esteem of women and the girl child and causes great pain and ill health medically. The reason for this is based on the idea the inferiority or superiority of the sexes or stereotyped roles for men and women as prescribed by custom.

· Early/child marriages or forced marriages – this is prominent in the Northern part of Nigeria (Hausas) were marriage to a minor or pre-adolescent girls are considered lawful i.e. girls who have not started menstruation are allowed to marry which pose health problems to these married children. Happily, in recent times the trend is moving toward a more acceptable standard.

· Customary ideas of divorce, separation or annulment of marriage-traditionally a girl child is given out in marriage on sale, so to speak. She is bound to endure all forms of despicable treatment that could be meted on her by her husband in her matrimonial home with little or no choice of a divorce or separation. Even under extreme physical or emotional abuse (wife beating, adultery willful non supported is proved against the husband, some customs prohibit the women from separation or divorce. She is considered a chattel (goods or property) of her husband to be used and dropped at will without equal right of the woman to do so. While not undermining the advantages of a lasting marriage, we say that this is abuse and violation of the woman’s right as prescribed for and protected even by our creator and originator of marriage, Jehovah God.

·           Discrimination and preference of boy child over the girl child.

Lack of Education/Training – a research statistics has it that over 110 million of the world’s children, two thirds of them girls, are not in school. And of the world’s 875 million illiterate adults, two thirds are women.

Illiteracy among women and girl children is alarming. Traditionally, it is the girl child who is allowed to remain at home to help their mother while the boys go to school and play thereafter. Educating a girl child was once viewed as a waste of resources. So while the girl child is engaged in domestic activities at home with her mother for the benefit of the whole family, the boys are schooled receiving formal education. For example, in the legal profession, we have very few women competing with the men, reason being that the profession was once viewed and believed to be a man’s thing. This situation plays itself out even in this 21st century where we still see and hear even mothers at home assigning domestic chores to their girl children because it is as they say a girl’s work. Seeing a man cook, shop and clean the home is regarded as a letdown. He is often called a woman’s wrapper, or one who has been bewitched by his wife.

The list is endless.

Effects On Women

The sad outcome of some of these cases of violence against women results to-

·           All forms of discrimination against women

·           Poverty which impoverishes them.

·           Lack of confidence and trust on the society

·           Loss of dignity-one dictionary defines dignity as the quality or state of being worthy, honored or esteemed. Human dignity therefore involves both the way we view ourselves and the way others deal with us. While there are a variety of factors that can affect our feelings about ourselves, the way others view or treat us plays a large role in our sense of personal value in our day to day life. While women have been identified to fall into the poor, defenseless and vulnerable group, being in such circumstances does not necessarily diminish their sense of personal dignity, it is the attitude and reaction of others that constitutes an affront to their dignity.

· Women suffer inequality and marginalization at the workplace and are disempowered and impoverished and cannot participate in public life.

· Even with multiplicity of legal instruments, because enforcement has not commenced from the home and communities, women continue to suffer in silence with little way out.

· Women are in grief because no one seems to hear their cry for help due to the culture of silence promoted by our customs or traditions.

· Women become targets and objects of all sorts of physical and emotional abuse, exploitation, objects of fear and shame in the society.

·  Part of health problems

· Children at risk of health problems, performance/and behavioral problems.

Recommendations

·           Support the campaign to end violence against women by speaking up any where you can be heard.

· Help to bring perpetrator to account.

·  Support FIDA to give voice to the passenger of meaningful laws that will ensure and implement the rights of the women/child help. The implementation by not being a victim yourself.

· Partner with us in our sensitization workshop, trainings, and advocacy from time to time.

· Support to disseminate positive information about our campaigns and educate the public through the mass media when necessary.

· Our husbands, fathers, uncles, brothers and mothers, stop the exploitation of your sisters, mothers, wives and daughters but support their roles as women.

· Above all love for others will help us to apply the counsel of our Lord Jesus Christ who once said in the Holy Bible – “do to others you will want them do to you”.

 

Boma Kingson Enyingwa

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Women

Women Can Go Without Artificial Beauty

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Looking good is some women’s business. Looking beautiful for some persons is more important than food. Some prefer to appear trendy instead of attending to household pressure.
Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder. Every woman by creature is beautiful but some persons feel that the way they were created is not enough. They feel that perhaps the creator should have added more features to their physic.
Artificial beauty did not start today, it has been there as far as man exists. From time to time, there has been one form of additional make-up or the other that women especially, must add to their natural look.
When you look at some of our elders, especially women, you notice certain drills or symbols (tattoo) on their skins, mostly on their hands and legs, in form of designs with dark prints. That is a form of artificial beauty. These days, some young ones still use such to beautify themselves.
It is not only women that are involved in artificial beauty, some young men also have likeness for it. It is common nowadays to see younger male folks spend money to pierce their ears to wear earrings. They also style their hairs in various forms to appear like women so as to look more handsome. This no doubt costs them more money than being in their natural look.
Every generation grows with it’s own new systems, items, styles of artificial beauty. Before now, African women generally and Nigeria in particular had their hair in natural form.
As civilisation and westernisation continued, Nigerian women started copying, for instance, perming of their hair to look like the White women. They started using western-produced chemicals (relaxers) to make their hairs look sleepy and smoother.
Nigerian women used to plate their hair with black thread or go with their hair well cut at low level. In terms of weaving, it was without attachment. The issue of women weaving hair with attachment came with civilisation. That is also a form of make-up.
The quest for extra beauty aside the way women were created has been from one generation to another.
Two or three decades ago, ladies used mascaras to darken and thicken their eyelashes. But in this 21st century, another system has evolved. Fixing of artificial eyelashes has become the order of the day.
In that case, it becomes difficult for them to scratch their eyes Incase of any itches. Some of their eyes turn reddish because of the touch.
There was a lady who was fixing her eyelashes in a salon, unfortunately, she got a phone call that her mother was late, as she started crying, it was difficult for her to clean the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.
The reason was for fear of the eye lashes falling off while cleaning the tears off her eyes.
One funny thing about fixing of artificial eyelashes is that some persons cannot close their eyes properly. The beauty they have in mind before fixing is not really achieved as their look become something anybody cannot behold. Both the shape of their eyes and facial outlook automatically change. One begins to wonder if that is the beauty they are looking for. Instead of looking beautiful, the reverse becomes the case.
As years go by, artificial beauty becomes more sophisticated in the society. The price and cost for looking more beautiful than women were created naturally becomes higher than their natural look.
The cosmetic industry becomes one of the most viable industries worldwide because some women desire artificial beauty. Some engage in cosmetic surgery to alter any part of their body which does not give them pleasure especially the fatty parts. Some go for surgery to make their slacked breasts to return to their original shapes as well as those with big tummies.
It is interesting to note that currently, Nigerian ladies have started to give preference to their natural hair and this is attracting a lot of admiration for them. Many prefer that natural look with low cuts. With that, the cost of maintaining the hair by ladies is reduced.
I think this is commendable as it will save the women from the negative effect of chemical used in manufacturing hair relaxers.
It is also common to see ladies on low cut hairs that are either light complexion, red and other funny colours.
People have been addicted to artificial beauty to the extent that they insert certain substances into their bodies to make them become more robust and attractive to their admirers.
I don’t understand why we should be crazy about adding more to our natural look. Every woman wants to look attractive in a packaged manner without recognising the implications of artificial beauty and make-up.
In fact, women’s quest for beauty has taken different dimension as they tend to appear trendy at home, in offices and as they go about their businesses. That is just to feel belonged and achieve self-esteem.
I recall a few years back, my pastor who trained as an Engineer advised women against the use of lipstick. He said that one of the chemical components of lipstick is lead and that it is dangerous to humans. Many women may not understand the reality of what he said until it manifests.
I think those who are naturally beautiful should not go for artificial make-ups. They should be satisfied with the work of their creator. Women should not continue to paint their faces to look like masquerades and should not lose value due to artificial beauty.
It may interest you to know that persons who apply make-ups excessively are mocked instead of being admired. Make-ups can be applied lightly.
Fixing of nails is another business. After fixing nails, some women find it difficult to perform house cores. Washing their personal belongings becomes a problem. The artificial nails become so long and sophisticated to the extent that the bearer cannot handle objects properly. Those in that habit also find it difficult to eat food with the fingers.
There are people who feel they should have been born in certain colour but when the reverse is the case, they seek artificial make-up. Use of skin-toning cream and soap becomes the option for artificial beauty. This happens to the extent that the users start having dark spots on the skin. Blisters occur on their faces and legs.
Unfortunately, this is an era when there are different kinds of cancer affecting women especially. It becomes difficult to identify the kind of make-up that can be cancerous.
It is high time people had stopped following trend to the detriment of their health.
Ladies should not present themselves as laughing stock with unnecessary make-up as they can still be cherished in their natural outlook.

Eunice Choko – Kayode

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Women

IDGC: Girls’ Vision For The Future

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Yearly,  the girls are celebrated not just because they are girls,  but because of their importance to families, society and the nation at large.
You will agree that when the girl-child comes into a family first,  that family is blessed.  The assistance she renders to the family can not be compared to that of the opposite sex.
The job she does in the home cuts across many duties.  In the home,  she takes care of her younger ones.  She assists her mother in carrying out house chores. After her educational career and she obtains a job,  she caters for her family even as she is married out.  She takes care of her aged parents in her matrimonial home.
This same girl-child when given the right training and opportunities,  will also train her offspring.  Thus, “train a woman and you train a nation”. When women are at the helms of affairs,  things are done better.
Celebrating the girl-child yearly is a call to parents,  families, faith-based organisations, non-governmental organisations, governments at all levels, and all relevant organisations that have one or two things to do with the girls to continue to put in place policies that will enhance their well-being.
On a daily basis,  the girl-child faces more challenges. Sometimes,  she finds it difficult to resist dangers.  The issue of rape, violence of any form, sexual harassment, intimidation, discrimination in families about who should go to school or not.
The Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ), Rivers State chapter,  called on the government, the state and local assembly to enact laws that criminalise any act capable of impeding the education of the girl-child.
The association made the call as it joined the world to commemorate the International Day of the Girl-Child, in Port Harcourt, Friday.
NAWOJ also appealed to ministry of education and other relevant authorities to prevail against hawking during school hours, as well as call for an end to early girl-child marriage.
The state chairperson of the association, Susan Serekara-Nwikhana, who spoke in an interview with the press said: “We are calling on the Rivers State government, the Rivers State House of Assembly and the Local Assembly to enact laws that criminalise any act capable of impeding on the education of the girl child.
“We also want the government to throw her weight against any girl-child found hawking on the streets during school hours as this will serve as deterrent to any parent or ward that is nursing such idea.
“There is need for every girl-child to be properly educated as this impact generally on the society positively.”
Speaking on the 2024 theme which is, “Girls’ Vision For The Future”, NAWOJ chair stressed the need for parents to prioritise the education of their daughters.
She explained that quality education was key to an assured future for every girl-child, stressing that education unlocks doors of possibilities and the I-can spirit.
Her words: “Remember, you put an end to blind submission when you train the girl-child. Today, many girl-children have been abandoned and are left to pass through harrowing conditions that they never dreamt of due to lack of education.
“Do you know that the girl child suffer most as she is confronted with lots of challenges from the day she was born into a home; siblings rivalry on who should go to school and who should not, a decision that most parents take that negatively impedes on the girl-child and to the day she steps into her husband’s house, especially with a wicked mother-in-law or father-in-law.”
She noted that only those female children privileged to acquire quality education can surmount the challenges that confront them on their way to greatness.
“As we all know that the role of every woman in the society cannot be over-emphasised as such without education given to the gild-child, the society will raise dysfunctional women, who are abused, used and abandoned”, she emphasised.
The NAWOJ chair insisted: “When the girl-child is exposed to education, you have given her opportunity to endless possibilities, thereby putting an end to subjugation and blind subservient”.
As Rivers State joins the rest of the world to mark the 2024 International Day of the Girl-Child, a non-profit organisation, Multi Stakeholders Committee for the Prevention of Gender-Based Violence in Rivers State has called for policies to protect the girl- child against gender-based violence.
It also urged for massive investment in the development of the girl-child.
The group said this in a statement to mark the day.
According to the statement signed by the coordinator of the group, who is also the Head of the Public Defender, Rivers State, Evelyn Membere Asimiea, time has come for the society to stand together and ensure that no girl is left behind.
She also said the celebration which has as its theme, “Girls, Vision For The Future”, is a call to action not just to acknowledge the challenges girls face but to actively empower them.
According to the statement, as we join the global community to celebrate the International Day of the Girl-Child, we are reminded of the powerful potential of every girl and the urgent need to invest in their rights.  This year’s theme, “Girls: Vision For The Future,” calls us to action not just to acknowledge the challenges girls face but to actively empower them as leaders of tomorrow.
Mrs Asimiea said time has come for stakeholders including government, civil society organisations,  families and individuals to stand together and ensure that no girl is left behind.
“As Coordinator of the Multi-Stakeholders Committee for the Prevention of Gender-Based Violence and Head of the Office of the Public Defender, Rivers State, I wish to highlight that our girls are at the heart of building strong, safe, and prosperous communities. Yet, they are often the most vulnerable to violence, discrimination, and neglect. It is time for all of us—government, civil society, families, and individuals—to stand together and ensure that no girl is left behind”,  the statement said.
She also called for massive investment in the girl- child, adding: “Investing in girls means ensuring they have access to quality education, healthcare, and equal opportunities.
“It means protecting them from all forms of gender-based violence (GBV), child marriage, and harmful traditional practices.
“When we invest in the safety, education, and empowerment of girls, we are investing in the future of our state and nation.”
It reiterated its commitment to continue to advocate for the right of the girl child, stressing that the group is working tirelessly to advocate for the rights of girls and the women.
“We are working tirelessly to advocate for the rights of girls and women, providing legal support to survivors of GBV, and pushing for stronger policies to prevent violence and protect their futures.
“But we cannot do it alone. We need every family, every community leader, and every citizen to take responsibility for the well-being of our girls.
“On this day, I urge you all to commit to creating a world where every girl feels safe, valued, and empowered to lead. Together, we can build a Rivers State where girls’ rights are protected, and their leadership flourishes, for the future of all of us”, the coordinator said.
As we mark this year’s girl-child day, women groups all over the world should as a matter of fact, continue to create awareness on the need to develop them in the right way so that they can showcase their potentials.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Girl-Child Development And Early Marriage 

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Early marriage occurs when the persons involved are in the ages of 13 and 15 years. In fact any marriage contracted before the age of 18 is termed early marriage.
Early marriage has become a problem affecting many nations, cultures, religion and ethnic groups.
In early marriage, the girl-child is always the one to suffer the consequences because it is associated with many problems. In most cases the partner, that is the man is usually older and more experienced. In the first place, she may not have completed her secondary education to be more knowledgeable in making the right choice in terms of marriage.
A situation where a 13-year-old girl will be forced and given to a 50-year-old man in marriage should be condemned. This may happen due to certain reasons. The truth is that some of the marriages involving minors as we have seen do not last. The cause of some divorce cases in recent times are as a result of early marriages. After marrying in ignorance, when the girl becomes aware of things she never knew before the marriage will begin to make moves to quit. I have seen a girl whose parents forced into marriage with an old man. When she later saw that her mates were getting married to younger men she simply withdrew. Others may demand to complete their secondary education or to further into tertiary institutions.
Parents will sometimes push their girl-child into marriage feeling that she is a burden to them, so giving her out in marriage will reduce the liability on them. Some parents are of the opinion that girls who go into marriage on time, will have more chances of pregnancy and children than graduates. Anybody can still have children after school, it just depends on planning.
I want to say that the problems associated with early marriage outweigh the gains. There is also this inequality between boys and girls which emanates from harmful social and gender norms, they will say the incomes they have should be used to train their male children since the girl will leave the parents’ family one day while the male child will remain.
Parents think that when girls get married on time, it will protect them from violence and insecurity, but in our society today, mature married women are also kidnapped and raped.
Others feel that younger wives are more submissive than the older ones as well as dowries paid on younger ones are less than when the woman becomes a graduate and gets more mature.
Many early marriages had caused our girls to drop out of school. In these days of civilisation, socialisation and computer age, even if a girl completes her secondary education at 18, it is still early. An 18-year-old girl needs more awareness on marriage. Marriage is not something you jump in and out, it has to do with maturity in mind, soul and education.
Education acquired in character and in learning will guide her in managing herself when she finally settles down. With this level of education and empowerment, she can cope when the spouse is not doing enough.
I have seen a situation where a girl who got married with a school certificate requested to further her education and the husband refused and said she must give birth to children as much as he wants first. If the man is not a graduate may be apprehensive that the woman will become his rival one day.
Most underage in marriage usually end up as full-time housewives. Being a full-time housewife has its own implications. A wife without empowerment that will depend on her husband for everything. When her demands are not met troubles may occur.
When a girl gets married at a tender age, the right choice may not be there. Recommendation comes through friends, relatives and well-wishers. This kind of marriage comes with persuasion and at the end of the day problems occur because she never made the choice herself. When a lady gets mature before marriage, she can handle issues that may arise. She chooses her spouse herself perhaps after courtship, in this case, will not blame anyone if problems arise.
Pregnancy and childbearing have to do maturity. A minor or an adolescent who is unable to manage herself going into marriage will definitely end up frustrated. One who behaves like a baby cannot take care of another baby. At night she may fall asleep and abandon the baby while he or she is crying.
In girl-child pregnancy, the danger of being infected with one form of disease or the other is there. Underage mothers have difficulty in labour because according to medical experts the muscles in the hip and all the mechanism that facilitate delivery may not have developed. The cervix and the uterus which connect the womb may be affected which can lead to cervical cancer. The complication to lead to the death of both mother and child.
Furthermore, early marriage can occur when a man forcefully impregnates a girl and the parents ask the man to take her for a wife, the man could decide to drop her later. When that happens the girl becomes a single parent. This is a situation parents should guide against.
To put a stop to this in our society, government should enforce laws that will protect girls from forceful marriages and rape cases. Any rape case concerning our girls should be taken serious and the perpetrator be brought to book.
I call on the Ministry of Social Welfare and other relevant agencies saddled with the responsibility of protecting the girl-child and women to review policies and programmes that will educate communities and our schools at secondary and tertiary levels on the dangers associated with girls and early marriages.
More awareness should be raised and in fact, we engage local and religious leaders, parents, informing them that empowerment of girls through education and employment is necessary.
When girls go to school, the knowledge they gain help protect them from illness, unwanted pregnancies and social vices.
Educated girls gain certain potentials, social and economic status in the society. They contribute to the health care and welfare of their immediate and extended families as well as where they from with the income got from jobs after graduation.
An empowered girl-child can cater for her family in the absence of her husband.
Remember, train a woman and you train a nation.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
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