Arts/Literary
‘Friends’ Without A Personal Touch
Title: Alone Together
Author: Sherry Turkle
Reviewer: Michiko Kakutani
Teenagers who send and receive six to eight thousand texts a month and spend hours a day on Facebook. Mourners who send text messages during a memorial service because they can’t go an hour without using their B1ackBerries. Children who see an authentic Galapagos tortoise at the American Museum of Natural History and can’t understand why the museum didn’t use a robot tortoise instead. High school students who wonder how much they should tilt heir Facebook profiles toward what heir friends will think is cool, or what college admissions boards might prize.
As Sherry Turkle notes in her perceptive new book, “Alone Together,” these are examples of the ways technology is changing how people relate to .one another and construct their own inner lives. She is concerned here not with the political uses of the Internet, as manifested in the current democratic uprisings in Egypt and other countries in the Middle East, but with its psychological side effects.
In two earlier books, Ms. Turkle, a professor of the social studies of science and technology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and a clinical psychologist, put considerable emphasis on the plethora of opportunities for exploring identity that computers and net working offer people. In these pages, she takes a considerably darker view, arguing that our new technologies, including e-mail messages, Facebook postings, Skype exchanges, role-playing games, Internet bulletin boards and robots have made convenience and control a priority while diminishing the expectations we have of other human beings.
Ms. Turkle’s thesis here, some of which will sound overly familiar, but some of which turns out to be savvy and insightful, is that even as more and more people are projecting human qualities onto robots (i.e., digital toys like the Furby and computerised companions like the Paro, designed to provide entertainment and comfort to the elderly), we have come to expect less and less from human encounters as mediated by the Net.
Instead of real friends, we “friend” strangers on Facebook. Instead of talking on the phone (never mind face to face), we text and tweet. Technology, she writes, “makes it easy to communicate when we wish and to disengage at will.”
In writing this book, Ms. Turkle interviewed hundreds of children and adults about technology, and her anthropological generalisation sometimes seem based on largely anecdotal evidence; we often never know just how representative her examples really are. Still, the author has spent decades examining how people interact with computers and other devices. Her first book on computers and people, “The Second Self”, was published in 1984; the next, “We on the Screen,” in 1995, and by situating her findings in historical perspective, she is able to lend contextual ballast to her case studies.
Many of the adolescents cited in her book express a decided distaste for using the phone. One high school sophomore says telephone calls mean you have to have a conversation and conversations are “almost always too prying, it takes too long, and it is impossible to say ‘goodbye.’ “Another student says: “When you talk on the phone, you don’t really think about what you’re saying as much as in a text. On the telephone, too much might show.”·
Texts, in other words, offer more control and the ability to keep one’s feelings at a distance. Many young people “prefer to deal with strong feelings from the safe haven of the Net,” Ms. Turkle writes. “It gives them an alternative to processing emotions in real time.”
While teachers must contend with distracted students, who may be texting or surfing the Web in class, says. Turkle, young people must contend with distracted parents who with their BlackBerries and cellphones may be physically present but mentally elsewhere. Noting that the psychoanalyst Erikson regarded identity play as part of the work of adolescence,: She argues that the Net not only supplies teenagers with lots of opportunities to explore who they are and what they aspire to, but also generates added anxiety, heightening peer pressure and encouraging many to construct, edit and perform “self” in an effort to win friends and influence.
Of an interview subject she calls Brad, Ms. Turkle writes: “Brad says, only half jokingly, that he worries about getting ‘confused’ between what he ‘composes’ for his online life and who he ‘really’ is. Not yet confirmed in his identity, it makes him anxious to post things about himself that the doesn’t really know are true. It burdens him that t things he says online affect how people treat him in the real. People already relate to him based on things he has said on Facebook. Brad struggles to be more ‘himself’ the but flu is hard. He says that even when he tries to be ‘honest’ CA Facebook he cannot resist the temptation to use the site ‘to make the right impression.’
As Ms. Turkle sees it, online life tends to promote more superficial, emotionally lazy relationships, people are “drawn to connections that seem low risk and always at hand.” This tendency to treat other people as objects that can be quickly discarded, she says, is embodied at its most extreme by the social Web site Chatrouletted “which randomly connects you to other users all over the world”.
“You see each other on live video. You can talk or write notes. People mostly hit ‘next’ after about two seconds to bring another person up on their screens.”
There are other consequences to constant networking as well. When we are always tethered to our offices, our families, our friends even when hiking in the woods or walking by the ocean, then solitude becomes increasingly elusive, and creative, contemplative, carefully considered thought increasingly gives way to immediate, sometimes illconsidered reactions.
At times, Ms. Turkle can sound primly sanctimonious, complaining for instance, that the sight at a local cafe of people focused on their computers and smart phones as they drink their coffee bothers her. “These people are not my friends,” she writes; “yet somehow I miss their presence.” Such sentimental whining undermines the larger and important points she wants to make in this volume the notion that technology offers the illusion of companionship without the demands of intimacy and communication, without emotional risk, while actually making people feel lonelier and more overwhelmed.
“Once we remove ourselves from the flow of physical, messy, untidy life – and both robotics and networked life do that we become less willing to get out there and take a chance,” she writes. “A song that became popular on You Tube in 2010, ‘Do You Want to Date My Avatar?’ ends with the lyrics ‘And if you think I’m not the one, log off, log off, and we’ll be done”.
Culled from mytime.com
Michiko Kakutani
Social/Kiddies
Need For Girl-Child Education In Society
Girl-child education is a way by which a girl- child is being exposed through formal education for proper education.
It is a process whereby a girl-child is being exposed to some certain things according to “teachmit@wp”.
Girl-child education refers to the aspect of education that ends at developing the skills and knowledge of girls and women no matter their backgrounds.
Some parents think that educating a girl- child is wasting of their resources. No. When a female child is educated, it gives her that respect even the husband cannot treat her anyhow because he will know her worth.
The importance of educating the girl- child cannot be overemphasised. It helps to empower the country and makes them have a better life. Once they are educated, they realise the importance of exhibiting good hygiene habits.
It may interest you to know that when a girl-child is educated, she has a sense of belonging in the society. In Nigeria nowadays, they have the potential of becoming governors, chairmen of local government areas, among others.
The tendency of taking cognisance of the importance of reduction in child bearing is high. When a woman is educated, the level in which she will give birth will reduce considering the dangers inherent.
Firstly, she will calculate herself and know when to conceive, although with the consent of her husband and the numbers of children she wants.
A girl who is educated will know how to educate her children properly. She will be of good benefits to the family.
Truly, a girl who is not properly educated will suffer lack of knowledge, fall into early marriage which will lead into early pregnancy. Some of these can cause domestic violence.
Women need education because without proper knowledge, a woman cannot run her home properly. A woman that is educated leads her home aright.
Some men use and take advantage of uneducated women by rendering all kinds of abuses on them, some rape their wives in course of making love and others insults their wives in public all because there is no education. In life, males and females should be educated without discrimination.
Furthermore, educating a girl-child is like investing in a big business that one will not run into a loss.
According to Dr Shaifali, girls’ education is like sowing the seed which gives rise to a revitalised, cheerful and full-grown family plants.
She also said educated women have the capacity to bring socio- economic changes.
Growing up from the family of three, my father told me that he was not ready to train a female child and when I asked why, he said: ” because when you will grow and become great, then, a man will come from nowhere and marry you and all my money will be wasted. When you marry, your name will be changed that means all your riches and wealth will become your husband’s own because you people are one”.
Frankly, I was very bitter with myself and I started questioning God that why was I not created as man, but I took it upon myself that weather the devil likes it or not, I will prove my father wrong by going to school and I will show the difference.
As parents when training children we should not think less of any child because every child is important and have value.
Every child is a blessing from God. This is a clarion call to all men of our present society to accord their wives the respect they deserve. A man can develop his wife after marriage.
Education plays an important role in the life of a girl-child. Let every girl-child be educated. The government should provide the society with basic amenities such as good schools that are well-equipped.
Parents from time to time should be re-oriented in this regard taking cognisance of the importance of developing the girl-child. None should be misled by saying that the girl-child need not attend formal education.
Since some parents do not have the wherewithal to sponsor their children, governments at all levels should introduce free education to give room for equal opportunity. Bursary payment should be re-introduced in all higher educational institutions.
Education is the bedrock of any society therefore women education cannot end in the kitchen.
Princess Npapa
Princess Npapa is a student of Pan Africa Institute of Management and Technology.
Social/Kiddies
Celebrating Woman As An Icon Of Strength
A woman is a dynamic multifaceted individual who embodies resilience, courage and determination.
She is a game changer and a force to be reckon with, a confidant empowered, supportive, adaptable and inspirational.
Many had asked why women are being celebrated even as recorded in calendar so frequently unlike men and I said, a woman being multifaceted and embodies resilience and determination is worth being celebrated unlike in the 80s when women were meant to understand that their place was in the kitchen of their husbands’ houses.
What an amazing level of development where women can choose a career and work on themselves and know that there is more to life than being in the kitchen and ending up in a man’s house with nothing to show for it.
Women are the strongest versions of the gender of humans in the world even in their silence, women hold a depth of emotions, questions and unspoken thoughts. Their smiles often conceal their true feelings, masking their fears, doubts and desires.
Despite these challenges, women continue to rise above, shattering glass ceilings and pushing boundaries.
Today innovative, women are enterprenuers, leaders, and change agents. Inspiring women like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie and many others have paved the way for future generation, their achievements serve as testaments to women’s strength, resilience and capabilities.
The calendar tell us how unique the woman is and her significance in the home and society at large. As a woman, she holds power and I celebrate every woman out there in the world irrespective of how you may have fallen, you shall rise above the challenges, support one another and celebrate collective strength and resilience.
Woman as an icon of strength is not just about individual achievements but creating supportive networks, uplifting others and celebrating collective success, defying expectations and redefining what it means to be a strong woman.
The strength and bravery of women are worthy of celebration by the entire world as none is unique as the epitome of nation builders, character molders and pacesetters not just in their family but to the society at large.
A woman is a selfless mother, lover and care giver to her family, a daughter who supports her parents, as a sister’s unshakeable bond with her siblings and a friends unconditional empathy and understanding.
These acts of kindness and love are not most times talked about but hold families and communities together and bonding strong women are powerful beings who have impacted the society, shaping the foundation of the world from the 80s to date, I personally want to celebrate all the icons of strength who had fought and are still fighting , that our voices as women are heard even unto the ends of time.
I celebrate you all amazing women for standing strong and paving ways for the future generation for equality, justice and human rights. To the rising child, teenager and adults who happen to be a ‘woman’, I celebrate our collective efforts, our strength in helping one another to rise, irrespective of our differences in our backgrounds.
We are super humans, unique beings, no wonder the Bible acknowledges the importance of our strength. Therefore, let’s celebrate every woman out there.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha, is a student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
Social/Kiddies
Children And Basics Of Family
It is the idea of God that family should exit. Children form part of the family. God loves family so much that Jesus was born into the family of Joseph.
Everyone’s family is good and important. Children should not look down on their family whether they are rich or poor.
Children should respect and honour their family and foster love among their siblings. They should work together and make peace in the family. They should always stand in the gap. It is good for family members to carry all along since everyone may not be doing well.
The Christianity that children learn is practised in family. Faith-based organisations do a great job in moulding children’s character. Those are the behaviours that children exhibit towards siblings in family.
Every child born in a family is there for a purpose. A baby born into a family is supplying something. It may be joy, wealth and so on. Everyone is important in a family.
Adolescents who have graduated from school but may not be contributing financially can do one or two things at home. You can engage in preparing meals at home while parents are away for a job or business. Contributing in house chores will go a long way to relieve parents of stress after a day’s job.
What do you contribute to your family, especially during holidays both in nuclear and extended family?
The family you were born is constant but friends are temporary. You can decide not to continue in friendship but you cannot cut off your family. No matter how bad you think your family is and you decide to leave home, you must surely return. Your friends can harbour you for a while.
The child’s first identity comes from the family. What the child learns first comes from the family.
Family is the centre of love and care. People have started playing down on marriage because of neglect on basics of family. Marriage starts today and and the next few months, it is threatened. Respect for family plays a crucial role in marriage.
No child grows without parental control and influence. If a child refuses to grow without taking instructions from parents, he may grow up being wild. There are consequences when children do not obey their parents. There are those who want to be rebellious against their parents. They should know that their length of days are tied to their parents.
Your bioligical parents know you more than every other person. There is the wisdom and knowledge your parents have that you do not so it is proper to listen to them before choosing carriers both in academics and job. A young man or woman can choose who to get married to, but a greater role in the choice of who to marry and the marriage proper comes from the parents.
They know what is best for you. No matter how modern trends will influence you and prove it wrong, parent is the key. No one can love you more than your parents because they are your blood.
A lot of parents have been traumatised due to the fact that children they nurtured and trained turned their back on them at older age. Children should not abandon their parents for any reason.
As you grow up, situations may arise in marriage when you decide it is over with your spouse, but no matter the level of provocation with your parents, they will not despise you. Parents will also play a role in that regard. Problem arises in every family but how it is handled matters a lot.
Some children honour their mentors more than their parents. Although there are parents who shy away from their responsibilities. It is important that parents take full responsibility of their children. You cannot bring a child to the planet earth and refuse to perform roles as a parent. But parents may not quantify what they spent from childhood to adolescence. That is a blessing children cannot get from another person.
There are people who have attributed their failure in life to the fact that their parents, especially mothers are witchcraft. It is wrong to feel that your mother is instrumental to your failure in life. The only way to success is hardwork.
Let money not determine the level of love for your parents. Wherever a child goes, family is constant.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
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