Opinion

Should Nigeria Legalise Same Sex Marriage?

Published

13 years ago

June 3, 2013

The Controversy surrounding same sex mariage, though alien to Africa, has reached a note worthy point in Nigeria as the debate has now shifted to the National Assembly.

Our correspondent Calista Ezeaku, and Photographer, Dele Obinna sought the views of Nigerians on the issue.

Excepts:

Mr. Barisua Samuel Mkpe – Public Affairs Analyst

The French President, legalised gay marriage some weeks ago, making France the 14th country in the world that has lgalised gay marriage. In my opinion, I think these things are done by the supposedly developed countries for political reasons. They are not done for cultural nor religious reasons.

At any point in time when they are drawing closer to election years and they want to solicit support from the populace, because they have realised that in these countries, the homo-sexual population is increasing geometrically by the day and they need their votes, they will go ahead to legalise gay marriage for political reasons.

Coming down to Africa, I have said it time and time again that Africa used to be a culturally committed people and most of the things we copy from the western world are alien to us and what they are doing is cultural globalisation, using their culture to penetrate our space and make us to do what our parents and our fore-fathers never used to do.

Talking about world leaders like David Cameron and Barak Obama supporting gay marriage and even threating to withdraw aids to developing economies it’s still world politics. And I thank God that African nations and their leaders have stamped their feet on the ground to tell them “go to hell with your aid, we can do without your aid. We’ll do what is good as far as our culture permits”.

So for once, I think I have seen the House of Representatives and the Senate do what the generality of the people want. Hitherto, we had seen situations where they came out with legislations that are anti-people, unpopular legislations.

But on the issue of legalising gay marriage or otherwise they have done well. I even think fourteen years prison term is lenient. I believe that human beings are supposed to be higher animals in terms of our thoughts and all of that. If animals and insects know that there are male and female species in their own kingdom, then human beings too should know that when God took a rib out of Adam, He did not use it to produce another man, in Genesis chapter two. He used it to produce a woman, ( a man with a womb), to comfort Adam.

So even scripturally, there is no way a man can comfort a man. It is a woman that was created to help and comfort the man.

On the argument in some quarters that out lawing gay marriage will infringe on peoples’ freedom of association, some times I think we misunderstand what freedom of association means. If the people are coming together for a common vision, no body stops them from going ahead to assemble and pursue their vision and their goal. But when two adults come together in a society where the young ones are expectedly looking up to the senior ones for morals and all of that, it would amount to a polluted society if the young ones see their so called parents doing what is dirty, uncivilised and unacceptable in our society.

I have always posed this challenge to those who claim they are champions of gay rights, if you are involved in same – sex marriage, don’t adopt a child, reproduce your kind in that marriage, because the perfect will of God for man as regards marriage is to go into the world and multiple.

So if Barak Obama and David Cameron want to prove to the world that they passionately love a homosexuality, they should divorce their wives and get married. When the two of them get married, they would have shown the world that they re examples for gay – marriage.

Barr. Chuks Obimba

– Lawyer.

Personally, I think the actions of the National assembly are commendable. The origin of same sex marriage dates back to the time of Sodom and Gormorah.

That word sodomy is derived from the word Sodom, a city God destroyed because they were involved in homesexuality and it is one issue that God hates. It is not sane, it is strange for a man and a man to co-habit sexually.

So it is quite commendable for the law makers to have out – lawed it. And I think the proposed 14 years jail term is adequate. We must dare to be different from other nations.

I also believe that in some of these Islamic nations, such issue cannot be raised at all. I think Nigeria must strive as a nation to become independent. If Britain with draws aids to Nigeria, because of this issue, it may spur us to become self independent to start walking on our own. Afterall we cannot continue to depend on some of these foreign aids. Nigeria has a lot of intelligent persons. We are endowed both naturally and physically, we can do something on our own. The issue of same – sex marriage is strange and it must be greatl deprecated.

I think there is an extent to which we should have our liberty. Every liberty that is not curtailed will tend to excess use. So, every body should have a liberty but there are occasions one’s liberty should be curtailed.

So to me, the issue of legalizing gay marriage has nothing to do with freedom of association. If we must associate with one another, there has to be a limitation to such association. So, I believe that illegalizing gay marriage does not infringe on any person’s right. There could be certain traits that are in – born, which must be checked. That is the essence of law. If somebody picks up a gun and tells you that he has a perchant towards violence, you will not ask him to go and start killing people because he has a perchant toward violence. So if someone says he is not attracted to the opposite sex, I don’t think it is proper and valid for us to go ahead with what he is doing. There must be a law.

Every nation is different and every nation has a law that guides its conduct. For instance in Europe, there is no death sentence to murder cases, but in Nigeria if someone kills another unlawfully, the person certainly, will go for it.

So I commend the boldness of the National Assembly in out lawing same-sex marriage.

In 1997, I heard Obama define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. That was when he was campaigning. Now, it is not proper for a man to approbate and at the same time re-approbate. The same Obama that said that same – sex – marriage is strange, is now campaigning for the adoption of same-sex marriage. I believe that the issue of same-sex marriage is strange and it should be highly deprecated, abhord.

Hon. Gbosidam Prince Agbara – Politician

First of all, I thank the person who moved the motion against same – sex marriage in the house. Same sex marriage is not Nigerian custom and there’s no how Nigeria can adopt it. I am an Ogoni man, and in Ogoniland, I have not witnessed when a woman morries another woman. What our custom permits if for a woman who could not bear children for her husand to marry another woman for her husband. But that a woman will sleep with a woman, or a man sleeps with another man, it is not done! If such practiced is legalized; it will destroy this country.

Therefore, I support the House of Representatives not to allow that kind of marriage happened in Nigeria because it will tarnish the image of Nigeria. Britain and other world powers should realise that Nigeria is an independent country. We have a President. we have members of the National Assembly, they make laws for us, not Britain, not America. So, if Britain wants to withdraw its aids to Nigeria, over this issue, let them go ahead. Nigeria will still stand. Even the President will not accept that. In Ogoniland a woman cannot marry a woman and sleep with a her, we’ll kill you immediately. So we don’t support that. All these borrowed Western way of life is what is killing us today. Before in Rivers State, women tie wrappers and wear skirt. All this low waist, trouser and what have you, weren’t there. They were borrowed from the Western world and that is what is killing us today. If you go to the schools you see women exposing their breasts and other parts of their bodies, and if we should legalise same – sex marriage, it will be the worst. You will start seeing women and men romancing themselves in the public. We should try and make this country a perfect country, a respected place where we live.

Rev. Fr. Bartholomoe Uzoma – Priest.

I think the law makers are responding to the isssues of the moment because the issue of same-sex marriage has become topical in the past few years. I don’t even know why people are going for this same-sex marriage. I’m yet to know the justification, that what is unusual, what is abnormal is what people are beginning to clamour for. Much as I know as a person, same – sex marriage is unnatural, abnormal, unusual. So that law makers are beginning to rise up to the occasion means that they are listening to people and they are willing to condemn what is wrong.

I’m not moved by what the western world is doing. We all know that the family system has collapsed in the western world and the family is the hope of the society and that tendency is now coming down to us. Yes granted, the world is a global village and we are being influenced by what happens in other areas. It is not everything that happens there that we must borrow. Already the family system is in crisis, bringing same sex marriage into already existing crisis, we cannot manage it.

So I think the law makers are rising up to save our society and I wouldn’t like to dance to the popular opinion of the Western world.

They can withdraw their aids from Nigeria, and what about it.? Nigeria will not die. “Let them wthdraw it and there will always be a way out. Our lifes does not depend on them. Our lifes depend on God. If they have been giving us aids and Nigeria is still like this, then what have they achieve so far?

All of us know the state of things in Nigeria, what can we boast of, it is it the economy, is it moral life, is it education is it power, what do we have in this country?

So what is the aid they have been giving to us and of what use has aid been to us. Let them withdraw it. Let us know we are on our own and then go back to the drawing board and pray God to help us to know how to manage our country, Nigeria and how to make things better for us. Infact they are part of those confusing us in this country.

They colonised Nigeria. Have we ever been the same since then? Before the contact with the British, there was a stage of development in this country, no matter how slow it was. And with that contact, the whole thing was changed and we are no longer the Africans we used to be, we are not Europeans. We are at a confused stage. And they are bringing that confusion now to the marital system. So far, you can see, our culture has been able to put together the family system. Same –sex marriage is not for a family. A man and a man cannot form family. So it’s all about people satisfying their illicit sexual urge and desire.

Well I may not subscribe to jail term for offenders because in Nigeria the prisons do not reform people. People go to prisons and they become worse than they were before they went to prison. The mere fact that the law prohibities if means that it is not going to be allowed and can’t go to the court and say not you want to get married.

Opinion

Beyond Physical Intimacy In Relationship

Published

7 hours ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”Love is not sustained by sharing the same bed or displaying affection in public; it is preserved by the daily investment of trust, understanding, empathy, and meaningful conversations. Two people can be physically close yet emotionally distant, because lasting relationships are built not merely on intimacy, but on the consistent nurturing of hearts that remain genuinely connected.”

In an age where relationships are often measured by appearances, social media posts, and outward displays of affection, many couples are discovering a painful truth: physical closeness does not always translate into emotional connection. Two people can share the same bed, hold hands in public, and even maintain a seemingly happy home, yet remain strangers to each other’s deepest thoughts, fears, dreams, and struggles. This reality is captured in the thought-provoking message that emotional intimacy goes far beyond physical intimacy. While physical attraction may ignite a relationship, emotional connection is what sustains it. When emotional bonds weaken, relationships begin to suffer quietly, often long before any visible signs of trouble emerge.

One of the greatest misconceptions about love is the belief that affection alone is enough to keep a relationship healthy. In reality, genuine love requires much more than romantic gestures and physical presence. It requires understanding, communication, trust, empathy, and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Without these elements, couples may coexist rather than truly connect. Many relationships today are experiencing a silent crisis. Couples are spending more time together physically but less time engaging meaningfully. Busy schedules, work pressures, financial challenges, digital distractions, and personal ambitions have reduced many conversations to routine exchanges about bills, children, responsibilities, and daily survival. The deeper conversations that nurture emotional intimacy are gradually disappearing.

As a result, many partners feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. They may be present in the relationship physically, but emotionally they feel isolated. This emotional distance often creates frustration, resentment, and loneliness. Ironically, a person can feel more alone in a relationship lacking emotional connection than when they are physically alone. The danger of emotional disconnection is that it rarely announces itself loudly. Unlike dramatic conflicts or public scandals, it develops gradually. It starts when couples stop sharing their feelings openly. It grows when assumptions replace communication. It deepens when one partner feels consistently ignored, dismissed, or taken for granted. Over time, the relationship loses its warmth and vitality.This explains why some marriages and relationships that appear perfect from the outside eventually collapse unexpectedly.

Observers are often shocked because they only saw the physical togetherness, not the emotional distance that had been growing for years beneath the surface. Relationships do not usually break down overnight; they deteriorate through the accumulation of unresolved emotional gaps. Building emotional intimacy, therefore, requires deliberate effort. It is not a one-time achievement but a daily commitment. Emotional connection is built through consistent acts of attention, kindness, and understanding. It develops when partners genuinely listen to each other without judgment. It grows when people feel safe enough to express their fears, disappointments, and aspirations without fear of criticism or rejection. Trust plays a crucial role in this process. Emotional intimacy flourishes in an environment where honesty is valued and confidentiality is respected. When trust is broken, emotional walls quickly rise.

Rebuilding those walls requires patience, sincerity, and a willingness to heal together. Another important ingredient is empathy. Every individual wants to feel understood. Sometimes partners do not necessarily need solutions to their problems; they simply need someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings. A relationship becomes stronger when both individuals strive to understand each other’s perspectives rather than merely defend their own positions. Quality time is equally important. In a world dominated by smartphones and endless digital distractions, couples must intentionally create moments of genuine interaction. Simple activities such as sharing a meal, taking a walk, discussing personal goals, or praying together can strengthen emotional bonds significantly.

These moments communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” Respect also forms the foundation of emotional closeness. Partners who consistently speak respectfully to each other, even during disagreements, create a healthier environment for intimacy to thrive. Emotional connection cannot flourish where there is constant criticism, ridicule, or contempt. Perhaps the most important lesson is that emotional intimacy is not built by grand gestures alone. It is cultivated through small, consistent actions repeated over time. A thoughtful conversation, a sincere apology, a word of encouragement, or a genuine expression of appreciation can have a profound impact on the health of a relationship. Ultimately, the strength of any relationship lies not merely in physical proximity but in emotional accessibility. The question is not whether two people occupy the same space, but whether they truly know and understand each other.

Lasting love is sustained when hearts remain connected even amid life’s challenges. As society continues to grapple with increasing relationship difficulties, couples must remember that emotional intimacy is not optional; it is essential. Physical attraction may bring people together, but emotional connection keeps them together. It is built daily through communication, trust, empathy, respect, and intentional effort. When emotional intimacy is nurtured, relationships become more resilient, fulfilling, and meaningful. And when two hearts remain genuinely connected, love does not merely survive—it flourishes

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Opinion

Yahoo Culture And Nigeria’s Moral Fabric

Published

7 hours ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote “A society that celebrates wealth without questioning its source gradually breeds a generation that despises hard work, glorifies fraud, and ultimately destroys itself from within.”

Nigeria’s battle against insecurity is not limited to terrorism. Another destructive force—popularly known as “Yahoo”—has steadily eaten into the nation’s moral and social fabric. Internet fraud, which has become synonymous with “Yahoo” in local parlance, poses a grave threat to Nigeria’s image, economy, and future. The activities of internet fraudsters have tarnished the country’s reputation globally. As a result, many law-abiding Nigerians abroad or seeking legitimate opportunities overseas often face suspicion and discrimination because of the notoriety created by these criminal elements. Originally, Yahoo was merely the name of an internet search engine created in 1994 by Stanford graduates Jerry Yang and David Filo. In Nigeria, however, the term has evolved into a culture driven by greed and materialism. It has become a disturbing subculture with its own language and values.

Expressions such as “mugu fall, guy man chop” celebrate the exploitation of unsuspecting victims, portraying fraud as intelligence and deceit as success. Yahoo boys are notorious for flaunting their ill-gotten wealth. They parade expensive cars, spend lavishly, and often display arrogance towards elders and society. Their extravagant lifestyle has even been blamed for rising rents and increased cost of living in cities such as Port Harcourt. Following crackdowns in Delta and Edo states, there have been concerns over the growing presence of these elements in Rivers State. What is particularly disturbing is that many of these young men and women, some as young as teenagers, have no legitimate source of income yet live in luxury. Their actions have ruined businesses, impoverished victims, and in some cases pushed people into depression, heart attacks, and suicide.

Yet, they continue to operate openly with frightening confidence. The prevalence of Yahoo culture reflects the deep moral decay in society. Sadly, some families not only tolerate the illicit activities of their children but celebrate and pray for their success. Anyone who condemns the practice often becomes the target of abuse and ridicule. A Port Harcourt-based pastor once experienced fierce backlash from Yahoo sympathisers after speaking against the menace. Nigeria’s permissive environment has unintentionally allowed the practice to flourish. Weak institutions, compromised law enforcement, and families unwilling to question the source of sudden wealth among unemployed youths have all contributed to the problem. The virtues of patience, diligence, and integrity are steadily being replaced by greed and a desperate desire for quick riches.

Perhaps one of the greatest casualties of Yahoo culture is education. The value of years of hard work and academic excellence has been diminished. Many young people now dismiss formal education as a scam, while apprenticeship and vocational training are increasingly looked down upon. The obsession with easy money has encouraged school dropout rates and undermined the culture of honest enterprise. An even more disturbing dimension is the emergence of what many describe as “Yahoo Phase II”—a phenomenon associated with ritual practices and occult beliefs. Although stories surrounding these practices are often difficult to verify, reports of ritual killings, organ harvesting, and other horrific crimes have heightened public fears. Young people seeking wealth at all costs are said to subject themselves to bizarre and inhumane instructions from self-styled spiritualists, resulting in unimaginable tragedies.

Regardless of the myths and realities surrounding these claims, one fact remains undeniable: the pursuit of wealth without values has devastating consequences. Society is increasingly witnessing cases of substance abuse, mental instability, and mysterious deaths among youths whose lives are built on criminality and desperation. Nigeria cannot afford to remain indifferent while a generation is consumed by greed and moral bankruptcy. Combating Yahoo culture requires more than arrests and prosecutions. Families must instill values of honesty and hard work. Religious leaders, educators, and community leaders must consistently promote integrity. Government institutions must strengthen the rule of law and ensure that crime does not pay. Above all, society must stop celebrating wealth without questioning its source. No nation can attain sustainable development when fraud is admired, hard work is ridiculed, and criminality is rewarded.

The future of Nigeria depends on raising a generation that values character above riches and integrity above material possessions. If this dangerous culture is left unchecked, the consequences will be severe. But if the nation collectively chooses the path of morality, accountability, and industry, there remains hope that the tide can be reversed and the country’s dignity restored.

By; Confidence Adoo

Opinion

Good Health Through Socrates’ Prescription

Published

1 week ago

June 8, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “In an age of advanced medicine and endless health information, the greatest prescription may still be the oldest one: know yourself. True health begins when we understand our bodies, emotions, habits and choices.”

The 21st century has ushered in extraordinary progress in science, technology and medicine. Diseases that once claimed millions of lives can now be prevented or treated. Information is available instantly, while fitness applications, health trackers and modern healthcare facilities have become part of everyday life. Yet, despite these advances, many people continue to struggle with physical illnesses, emotional stress, anxiety, depression and lifestyle-related diseases. This contradiction raises an important question: Why are people becoming increasingly unhealthy in an age of remarkable medical advancement? Part of the answer may lie in the timeless wisdom associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates: “Know thyself.” Though spoken more than two thousand years ago, these words remain profoundly relevant today. They remind us that genuine wellbeing begins with self-understanding.

Knowing oneself goes beyond knowing one’s name, occupation or social status. It involves understanding one’s body, emotions, habits, strengths, weaknesses and aspirations. It means recognizing how daily choices affect physical, mental and emotional health. In many respects, self-knowledge forms the foundation of healthy living. One of the greatest health challenges today is the tendency to ignore warning signs until serious problems emerge. Many people neglect symptoms such as persistent fatigue, poor sleep, chronic stress, unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity. Because they are disconnected from their bodies, they fail to recognize that their health is gradually deteriorating. A person who truly knows himself pays attention to these signals. Such an individual understands which foods nourish the body and which habits undermine health. They recognize when rest is necessary,

when stress levels become dangerous and when professional medical attention should be sought. Self-awareness encourages preventive action long before illness develops. The same principle applies to mental and emotional health. Modern life is filled with pressures. Social media often encourages unhealthy comparisons, while economic challenges, family responsibilities and workplace demands create enormous psychological burdens. Many people suffer silently because they have not learned to understand or manage their emotions. Knowing oneself means recognizing emotional triggers, vulnerabilities and sources of stress. It involves identifying feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger or frustration before they become overwhelming. Self-aware individuals are more likely to seek support, adopt healthy coping mechanisms and maintain emotional balance.

Self-knowledge also promotes discipline. Many of today’s health problems are linked to lifestyle choices. Excessive consumption of processed foods, alcohol abuse, smoking, substance misuse, physical inactivity and poor sleeping habits contribute significantly to disease burdens around the world. Most people are aware of these risks. The challenge is often not a lack of information but a lack of self-understanding. Individuals who understand their motivations, weaknesses and tendencies are better equipped to resist harmful habits and develop healthier routines. In this way, self-knowledge becomes a powerful tool for self-control. Socrates also taught that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” While philosophical in origin, this statement has practical implications for health. Examining one’s life encourages honest reflection. Are we eating wisely? Are we exercising enough?

Are we sleeping adequately? Are we managing stress effectively? Are we maintaining healthy relationships? These are not merely philosophical questions. They are essential components of a healthy lifestyle. Honest answers can reveal habits that require improvement and inspire positive change. Ironically, while technology has made health information more accessible, it has also made self-understanding more difficult. Many people spend hours following social media trends and public personalities while paying little attention to their own health. They know more about celebrities than they know about their blood pressure, sleep quality or emotional wellbeing. A healthier society will require more than modern hospitals and advanced medications. It will require citizens who actively seek to understand themselves. Preventive healthcare begins with personal awareness.

Parents, educators, religious leaders, healthcare professionals and policymakers all have important roles to play in promoting self-awareness. Young people should be taught not only academic subjects but also emotional intelligence, self-reflection, healthy lifestyle habits and personal responsibility. Ultimately, Socrates’ ancient wisdom remains as relevant today as it was centuries ago. A person who understands himself is more likely to make healthy decisions, maintain emotional stability, build resilience and seek help when necessary. The journey to good health does not begin in a hospital, pharmacy or gymnasium. It begins within. As the world continues to confront complex health challenges, perhaps the most powerful prescription requires no expensive technology or medication. It is the enduring wisdom that has stood the test of time: know yourself. In understanding ourselves, we discover one of the surest paths to healthier, happier and more meaningful lives.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi