Opinion

Should Nigeria Legalise Same Sex Marriage?

Published

13 years ago

June 3, 2013

The Controversy surrounding same sex mariage, though alien to Africa, has reached a note worthy point in Nigeria as the debate has now shifted to the National Assembly.

Our correspondent Calista Ezeaku, and Photographer, Dele Obinna sought the views of Nigerians on the issue.

Excepts:

Mr. Barisua Samuel Mkpe – Public Affairs Analyst

The French President, legalised gay marriage some weeks ago, making France the 14th country in the world that has lgalised gay marriage. In my opinion, I think these things are done by the supposedly developed countries for political reasons. They are not done for cultural nor religious reasons.

At any point in time when they are drawing closer to election years and they want to solicit support from the populace, because they have realised that in these countries, the homo-sexual population is increasing geometrically by the day and they need their votes, they will go ahead to legalise gay marriage for political reasons.

Coming down to Africa, I have said it time and time again that Africa used to be a culturally committed people and most of the things we copy from the western world are alien to us and what they are doing is cultural globalisation, using their culture to penetrate our space and make us to do what our parents and our fore-fathers never used to do.

Talking about world leaders like David Cameron and Barak Obama supporting gay marriage and even threating to withdraw aids to developing economies it’s still world politics. And I thank God that African nations and their leaders have stamped their feet on the ground to tell them “go to hell with your aid, we can do without your aid. We’ll do what is good as far as our culture permits”.

So for once, I think I have seen the House of Representatives and the Senate do what the generality of the people want. Hitherto, we had seen situations where they came out with legislations that are anti-people, unpopular legislations.

But on the issue of legalising gay marriage or otherwise they have done well. I even think fourteen years prison term is lenient. I believe that human beings are supposed to be higher animals in terms of our thoughts and all of that. If animals and insects know that there are male and female species in their own kingdom, then human beings too should know that when God took a rib out of Adam, He did not use it to produce another man, in Genesis chapter two. He used it to produce a woman, ( a man with a womb), to comfort Adam.

So even scripturally, there is no way a man can comfort a man. It is a woman that was created to help and comfort the man.

On the argument in some quarters that out lawing gay marriage will infringe on peoples’ freedom of association, some times I think we misunderstand what freedom of association means. If the people are coming together for a common vision, no body stops them from going ahead to assemble and pursue their vision and their goal. But when two adults come together in a society where the young ones are expectedly looking up to the senior ones for morals and all of that, it would amount to a polluted society if the young ones see their so called parents doing what is dirty, uncivilised and unacceptable in our society.

I have always posed this challenge to those who claim they are champions of gay rights, if you are involved in same – sex marriage, don’t adopt a child, reproduce your kind in that marriage, because the perfect will of God for man as regards marriage is to go into the world and multiple.

So if Barak Obama and David Cameron want to prove to the world that they passionately love a homosexuality, they should divorce their wives and get married. When the two of them get married, they would have shown the world that they re examples for gay – marriage.

Barr. Chuks Obimba

– Lawyer.

Personally, I think the actions of the National assembly are commendable. The origin of same sex marriage dates back to the time of Sodom and Gormorah.

That word sodomy is derived from the word Sodom, a city God destroyed because they were involved in homesexuality and it is one issue that God hates. It is not sane, it is strange for a man and a man to co-habit sexually.

So it is quite commendable for the law makers to have out – lawed it. And I think the proposed 14 years jail term is adequate. We must dare to be different from other nations.

I also believe that in some of these Islamic nations, such issue cannot be raised at all. I think Nigeria must strive as a nation to become independent. If Britain with draws aids to Nigeria, because of this issue, it may spur us to become self independent to start walking on our own. Afterall we cannot continue to depend on some of these foreign aids. Nigeria has a lot of intelligent persons. We are endowed both naturally and physically, we can do something on our own. The issue of same – sex marriage is strange and it must be greatl deprecated.

I think there is an extent to which we should have our liberty. Every liberty that is not curtailed will tend to excess use. So, every body should have a liberty but there are occasions one’s liberty should be curtailed.

So to me, the issue of legalizing gay marriage has nothing to do with freedom of association. If we must associate with one another, there has to be a limitation to such association. So, I believe that illegalizing gay marriage does not infringe on any person’s right. There could be certain traits that are in – born, which must be checked. That is the essence of law. If somebody picks up a gun and tells you that he has a perchant towards violence, you will not ask him to go and start killing people because he has a perchant toward violence. So if someone says he is not attracted to the opposite sex, I don’t think it is proper and valid for us to go ahead with what he is doing. There must be a law.

Every nation is different and every nation has a law that guides its conduct. For instance in Europe, there is no death sentence to murder cases, but in Nigeria if someone kills another unlawfully, the person certainly, will go for it.

So I commend the boldness of the National Assembly in out lawing same-sex marriage.

In 1997, I heard Obama define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. That was when he was campaigning. Now, it is not proper for a man to approbate and at the same time re-approbate. The same Obama that said that same – sex – marriage is strange, is now campaigning for the adoption of same-sex marriage. I believe that the issue of same-sex marriage is strange and it should be highly deprecated, abhord.

Hon. Gbosidam Prince Agbara – Politician

First of all, I thank the person who moved the motion against same – sex marriage in the house. Same sex marriage is not Nigerian custom and there’s no how Nigeria can adopt it. I am an Ogoni man, and in Ogoniland, I have not witnessed when a woman morries another woman. What our custom permits if for a woman who could not bear children for her husand to marry another woman for her husband. But that a woman will sleep with a woman, or a man sleeps with another man, it is not done! If such practiced is legalized; it will destroy this country.

Therefore, I support the House of Representatives not to allow that kind of marriage happened in Nigeria because it will tarnish the image of Nigeria. Britain and other world powers should realise that Nigeria is an independent country. We have a President. we have members of the National Assembly, they make laws for us, not Britain, not America. So, if Britain wants to withdraw its aids to Nigeria, over this issue, let them go ahead. Nigeria will still stand. Even the President will not accept that. In Ogoniland a woman cannot marry a woman and sleep with a her, we’ll kill you immediately. So we don’t support that. All these borrowed Western way of life is what is killing us today. Before in Rivers State, women tie wrappers and wear skirt. All this low waist, trouser and what have you, weren’t there. They were borrowed from the Western world and that is what is killing us today. If you go to the schools you see women exposing their breasts and other parts of their bodies, and if we should legalise same – sex marriage, it will be the worst. You will start seeing women and men romancing themselves in the public. We should try and make this country a perfect country, a respected place where we live.

Rev. Fr. Bartholomoe Uzoma – Priest.

I think the law makers are responding to the isssues of the moment because the issue of same-sex marriage has become topical in the past few years. I don’t even know why people are going for this same-sex marriage. I’m yet to know the justification, that what is unusual, what is abnormal is what people are beginning to clamour for. Much as I know as a person, same – sex marriage is unnatural, abnormal, unusual. So that law makers are beginning to rise up to the occasion means that they are listening to people and they are willing to condemn what is wrong.

I’m not moved by what the western world is doing. We all know that the family system has collapsed in the western world and the family is the hope of the society and that tendency is now coming down to us. Yes granted, the world is a global village and we are being influenced by what happens in other areas. It is not everything that happens there that we must borrow. Already the family system is in crisis, bringing same sex marriage into already existing crisis, we cannot manage it.

So I think the law makers are rising up to save our society and I wouldn’t like to dance to the popular opinion of the Western world.

They can withdraw their aids from Nigeria, and what about it.? Nigeria will not die. “Let them wthdraw it and there will always be a way out. Our lifes does not depend on them. Our lifes depend on God. If they have been giving us aids and Nigeria is still like this, then what have they achieve so far?

All of us know the state of things in Nigeria, what can we boast of, it is it the economy, is it moral life, is it education is it power, what do we have in this country?

So what is the aid they have been giving to us and of what use has aid been to us. Let them withdraw it. Let us know we are on our own and then go back to the drawing board and pray God to help us to know how to manage our country, Nigeria and how to make things better for us. Infact they are part of those confusing us in this country.

They colonised Nigeria. Have we ever been the same since then? Before the contact with the British, there was a stage of development in this country, no matter how slow it was. And with that contact, the whole thing was changed and we are no longer the Africans we used to be, we are not Europeans. We are at a confused stage. And they are bringing that confusion now to the marital system. So far, you can see, our culture has been able to put together the family system. Same –sex marriage is not for a family. A man and a man cannot form family. So it’s all about people satisfying their illicit sexual urge and desire.

Well I may not subscribe to jail term for offenders because in Nigeria the prisons do not reform people. People go to prisons and they become worse than they were before they went to prison. The mere fact that the law prohibities if means that it is not going to be allowed and can’t go to the court and say not you want to get married.

Opinion

Making the Out-of-School Children Survey Count

Published

2 days ago

July 27, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “Reliable data may reveal the scale of Nigeria’s out-of-school crisis, but only sustained political will and practical action can ensure that every child is given the opportunity to learn, thrive and contribute to national development.”

The Minister of Education, Dr. Tunji Alausa, recently announced that the Federal Government, in partnership with the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS), will conduct a nationwide household survey to determine the actual number of out-of-school children in Nigeria. The exercise is intended to provide reliable data for evidence-based education policies and targeted interventions. Current estimates put the number of out-of-school children at between 15 million and 20 million, placing Nigeria among the countries with the highest number of children excluded from formal education. At first glance, this is a commendable initiative. One of Nigeria’s greatest developmental challenges has been the absence of accurate and reliable data. Without dependable statistics, planning becomes difficult, implementation inefficient, and evaluation of government programmes almost impossible.

The nation’s actual population also remains uncertain because of the absence of an up-to-date national census. Estimates range from below 200 million to over 250 million, making effective planning a daunting task. Sound policies on education, healthcare, housing, employment and infrastructure all depend on credible population statistics. Against this backdrop, the proposed survey deserves commendation. If government succeeds in generating reliable figures, it will be better positioned to allocate resources equitably, identify areas of greatest need and design interventions based on facts rather than assumptions. Accurate data will also make it easier to monitor progress and assess whether efforts to reduce the number of out-of-school children are achieving the desired results.

However, beyond the good intentions lie important questions. Will state governments provide the enabling environment for an objective and transparent survey? Since education is on the concurrent legislative list, the cooperation of state governments will largely determine the credibility of the exercise. Politics could easily influence the process. States with higher numbers of out-of-school children may qualify for greater intervention funds from the Federal Government and development partners. Would this tempt some states to inflate their figures? On the other hand, high numbers could portray a state government as performing poorly in the education sector. Would some governors therefore seek to understate the figures to protect their image? These concerns are legitimate because whenever statistics are tied to political interests or financial benefits, the temptation to manipulate them cannot be ignored.

Equally important are questions about the survey itself. When will it begin? How long will it last? What methodology will be adopted? Will every household be covered, including those in remote rural communities and areas plagued by insecurity? Does the government have the manpower, funding, technology and security arrangements needed for such a nationwide exercise? Nigeria has witnessed several well-intentioned national programmes that fell short because of poor planning and inadequate logistics. Many Nigerians will remember that the proposed national population census scheduled a few years ago was postponed despite extensive preparations. Funding constraints and logistical challenges contributed to its suspension. What guarantees are there that this survey will not suffer a similar fate? More importantly, what becomes of the findings after the exercise? Nigeria is not short of reports or data collection initiatives.

The recurring challenge has been the lack of political will to translate findings into concrete policies and sustained action. The survey must not become another document gathering dust on government shelves. Instead, it should serve as the basis for measurable interventions, continuous monitoring and improved educational outcomes. Beyond producing accurate figures, the survey must also uncover the reasons children remain outside the classroom. Addressing the crisis requires more than counting affected children. It demands an understanding of the social, economic and cultural factors responsible for the problem. Issues such as the Almajiri system and other practices that discourage formal education should be carefully examined while respecting cultural values and protecting every child’s right to quality education. Poverty remains a major barrier, as many parents cannot afford school-related expenses, forcing children into street trading or child labour

Insecurity has also led to the closure of schools in several communities, depriving thousands of children of learning opportunities.Government must therefore complement the survey with practical measures. Strengthening social protection for vulnerable families, improving school infrastructure, recruiting and retaining qualified teachers, enhancing security around schools and enforcing compulsory basic education are all essential. Equally important is sustained collaboration with traditional rulers, religious leaders, civil society organisations and development partners to address the root causes of school exclusion. The proposed survey presents an opportunity to replace guesswork with credible evidence. However, its true value will not be measured by the number of households visited or questionnaires completed. Its success will depend on whether the findings inspire bold policies, adequate funding and sustained action that ensure every Nigerian child, regardless of location or background, has access to quality education. Only then will the exercise move beyond statistics to become a genuine instrument for national development.

By: Calista Ezeaku

Opinion

African Women: Beyond the Stereotypes

Published

2 days ago

July 27, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”The story of the Tuareg women reminds us that Africa is not defined by a single narrative. Across the continent are cultures where women have long enjoyed dignity, influence and authority, proving that Africa’s history is far richer and more diverse than stereotypes suggest.”

For generations, Africa has often been portrayed through a single, narrow lens. News headlines, documentaries and social media feeds have tended to focus on poverty, conflict, disease and political instability, creating the impression that the continent has only one story to tell. While these challenges are real and deserve attention, they represent only a fraction of Africa’s rich history and cultural diversity. Reducing a continent of over a billion people and thousands of ethnic groups to one narrative does a great disservice to its people and heritage. One striking example of Africa’s diversity can be found among the Tuareg people of the Sahara Desert. Spread across Mali, Niger, Algeria, Libya and Burkina Faso, the Tuareg have preserved unique customs for centuries despite the harsh desert environment. Their society challenges many of the assumptions people hold about gender roles, particularly in African and Islamic communities.

Unlike many patriarchal societies where inheritance and authority are passed mainly through men, Tuareg tradition gives women a remarkable degree of respect, influence and autonomy. Family lineage is traced through the mother’s line, making women central to the identity and continuity of the family. This matrilineal system has helped shape a culture where women enjoy privileges that are uncommon in many parts of the world. Traditionally, Tuareg women own the family tents, which symbolise the household itself. They may also possess livestock, jewellery and other valuable property. In many families, women exercise considerable control over household wealth and inherit important possessions from their mothers. These rights are not viewed as extraordinary but as a natural part of their social structure. Marriage customs among the Tuareg are equally fascinating.

Women generally have a significant voice in choosing whom they marry, and divorce carries far less social stigma than it does in many other societies. If a marriage fails, a woman often returns to her family with her property and continues to enjoy the respect of her community. Rather than being treated as outcasts, divorced women frequently remarry if they choose. Such practices demonstrate a long-standing recognition of women’s dignity and independence. Perhaps even more intriguing is the value placed on female education and literacy. Historically, Tuareg women have often been more literate than the men. They preserve ancient poetry, songs and oral traditions that define the identity of their people. Through storytelling and cultural instruction, they pass history and values from one generation to another, ensuring that their heritage survives despite changing times.

Ironically, in Tuareg culture, it is often the men who wear the famous indigo veils that have become synonymous with the “Blue People of the Sahara.” The veil is worn for cultural and spiritual reasons and has become a symbol of maturity and honour among Tuareg men. This reversal of what many outsiders expect further illustrates how dangerous it is to judge societies using stereotypes. However, it is important to avoid replacing one stereotype with another. While Tuareg women enjoy rights that are impressive by many standards, their lives are not without challenges. Modern conflicts, climate change, economic hardship, displacement and political instability have affected Tuareg communities across the Sahara. Like many women worldwide, they continue to navigate social, economic and security concerns. Their story is therefore one of resilience rather than perfection.

The experience of the Tuareg also reminds us that Africa has never been culturally uniform. Across the continent are societies with widely varying traditions concerning leadership, inheritance, marriage and gender relations. Some communities are patriarchal, others matrilineal, while many combine elements of both. Understanding this diversity is essential if we are to appreciate Africa beyond simplistic generalisations. The colonial partition of Africa further complicated many indigenous institutions. European powers drew borders that divided ethnic groups and disrupted long-established systems of governance and social organisation. In some places, colonial administrations replaced or weakened traditional practices that had evolved over centuries. Yet many communities, including the Tuareg, have managed to preserve important aspects of their cultural identity despite these disruptions.

There is an important lesson here for Africans themselves. Too often, people accept narratives about their continent that are written entirely by outsiders. While criticism of Africa’s problems is necessary, celebrating its strengths is equally important. Indigenous knowledge, cultural diversity and historical achievements deserve the same attention as stories of crisis. Doing so creates a more balanced understanding of the continent and inspires confidence among younger generations. The story of the Tuareg women is not merely about female empowerment; it is about the richness of African civilisation. It reminds us that leadership, dignity and freedom can take different forms across cultures. Their example challenges long-held assumptions and encourages a more thoughtful appreciation of Africa’s complexity.

Ultimately, Africa cannot be understood through a single story. Its peoples, languages, traditions and histories are too vast and varied for such reduction. The Tuareg women of the Sahara stand as living proof that beneath the sweeping sands of the desert lies a civilisation whose values continue to surprise and inspire the world. As we seek to understand Africa better, we must move beyond stereotypes and embrace the many stories that together form the true identity of the continent

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Opinion

Beyond Physical Intimacy In Relationship

Published

1 month ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”Love is not sustained by sharing the same bed or displaying affection in public; it is preserved by the daily investment of trust, understanding, empathy, and meaningful conversations. Two people can be physically close yet emotionally distant, because lasting relationships are built not merely on intimacy, but on the consistent nurturing of hearts that remain genuinely connected.”

In an age where relationships are often measured by appearances, social media posts, and outward displays of affection, many couples are discovering a painful truth: physical closeness does not always translate into emotional connection. Two people can share the same bed, hold hands in public, and even maintain a seemingly happy home, yet remain strangers to each other’s deepest thoughts, fears, dreams, and struggles. This reality is captured in the thought-provoking message that emotional intimacy goes far beyond physical intimacy. While physical attraction may ignite a relationship, emotional connection is what sustains it. When emotional bonds weaken, relationships begin to suffer quietly, often long before any visible signs of trouble emerge.

One of the greatest misconceptions about love is the belief that affection alone is enough to keep a relationship healthy. In reality, genuine love requires much more than romantic gestures and physical presence. It requires understanding, communication, trust, empathy, and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Without these elements, couples may coexist rather than truly connect. Many relationships today are experiencing a silent crisis. Couples are spending more time together physically but less time engaging meaningfully. Busy schedules, work pressures, financial challenges, digital distractions, and personal ambitions have reduced many conversations to routine exchanges about bills, children, responsibilities, and daily survival. The deeper conversations that nurture emotional intimacy are gradually disappearing.

As a result, many partners feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. They may be present in the relationship physically, but emotionally they feel isolated. This emotional distance often creates frustration, resentment, and loneliness. Ironically, a person can feel more alone in a relationship lacking emotional connection than when they are physically alone. The danger of emotional disconnection is that it rarely announces itself loudly. Unlike dramatic conflicts or public scandals, it develops gradually. It starts when couples stop sharing their feelings openly. It grows when assumptions replace communication. It deepens when one partner feels consistently ignored, dismissed, or taken for granted. Over time, the relationship loses its warmth and vitality.This explains why some marriages and relationships that appear perfect from the outside eventually collapse unexpectedly.

Observers are often shocked because they only saw the physical togetherness, not the emotional distance that had been growing for years beneath the surface. Relationships do not usually break down overnight; they deteriorate through the accumulation of unresolved emotional gaps. Building emotional intimacy, therefore, requires deliberate effort. It is not a one-time achievement but a daily commitment. Emotional connection is built through consistent acts of attention, kindness, and understanding. It develops when partners genuinely listen to each other without judgment. It grows when people feel safe enough to express their fears, disappointments, and aspirations without fear of criticism or rejection. Trust plays a crucial role in this process. Emotional intimacy flourishes in an environment where honesty is valued and confidentiality is respected. When trust is broken, emotional walls quickly rise.

Rebuilding those walls requires patience, sincerity, and a willingness to heal together. Another important ingredient is empathy. Every individual wants to feel understood. Sometimes partners do not necessarily need solutions to their problems; they simply need someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings. A relationship becomes stronger when both individuals strive to understand each other’s perspectives rather than merely defend their own positions. Quality time is equally important. In a world dominated by smartphones and endless digital distractions, couples must intentionally create moments of genuine interaction. Simple activities such as sharing a meal, taking a walk, discussing personal goals, or praying together can strengthen emotional bonds significantly.

These moments communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” Respect also forms the foundation of emotional closeness. Partners who consistently speak respectfully to each other, even during disagreements, create a healthier environment for intimacy to thrive. Emotional connection cannot flourish where there is constant criticism, ridicule, or contempt. Perhaps the most important lesson is that emotional intimacy is not built by grand gestures alone. It is cultivated through small, consistent actions repeated over time. A thoughtful conversation, a sincere apology, a word of encouragement, or a genuine expression of appreciation can have a profound impact on the health of a relationship. Ultimately, the strength of any relationship lies not merely in physical proximity but in emotional accessibility. The question is not whether two people occupy the same space, but whether they truly know and understand each other.

Lasting love is sustained when hearts remain connected even amid life’s challenges. As society continues to grapple with increasing relationship difficulties, couples must remember that emotional intimacy is not optional; it is essential. Physical attraction may bring people together, but emotional connection keeps them together. It is built daily through communication, trust, empathy, respect, and intentional effort. When emotional intimacy is nurtured, relationships become more resilient, fulfilling, and meaningful. And when two hearts remain genuinely connected, love does not merely survive—it flourishes

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi