Women
Whither The Family Values?
Children are the future
leaders of any soceity,” therefore, a broken soceity traces its decay to the family.
The family as the strength and pillar of every society is known for good moral which is usually inculcated from one generation to another through the children and even to the children unborn. It is the primary responsibility of every parent to ensure cultural values of societies do not go extinct. The family is highly regarded because character and societal value are molded from infancy. Morals and good values are passed on to the children through their parents and such trait is maintained in building a habitable society.
Today, the rate of moral decadence is so alarming that one begins to wonder where the family is heading for.
In Nigeria, each ethnic group is known for their peculiarities which is not devoid of respect, good ethics, holding of cultural values in high esteem, hospitality, respect for elders, loyalty to authorities, adherence to parents’ training, exemplary living, obedience to parents decissions, adherence to societal rules and regulations.
Disappointedly, twenty-first century families have witnessed pains in homes, different levels of immoralities, disrespect to elders, and disobedience to societal laws. This is simply becaus the family has failed in its core role of molding lives and values. Everything is shifted to the ¢hurch as the quest for wealth acquisition, education, career building, politics, has replaced the importance placed on family values in Nigeria.
However, we are today faced with a society where family values are irrelevant, culture is no longer vital, internet has replaced every importance of cultural inclination that is imbibed in people as they grow and receive training from their family starting from the cradle. We are now battling with the devastating negative influence brought to us by popular culture not only that the magnitude and approach employed the cable stations is encouraging the popular culture in strengthening their channels by capturing our airspace, dictating for us and our families what food we should eat, what:we should wear as in being trendy (fashion) , what language we should speak what our manners should look like, how we analyse issues of importance and things like that.
It is disheartening to note that with all the decadence going on, no attention or measure is put in.place to check the situation.
As each.day passes by, we are faced with more and more decay which springs from the lapses the family has created, degenerating into the larger socicty thereby resulting in high crime rate and corruption in all sectors of our economy and government.
Instead of sitting back to strategise ways of curbing our dilemma, we abandon it for more wealth pursuit while we fold our arms and watch the crime rate escalate in a geometric progression on daily basis.
It is no longer news that children cannot speak their dialect, even those leaving in state capitals of their own states cannot speak their own dialect fluently and one may begin to wonder, what will become of this nation Nigeria in 20years to come if parents still treat this decadence with laxity?
The twenty first century generation needs to be called back to order and the ball is in the court of the family to repair the damage done already. The family is the smallest group out of the larger society and if things are not properly done; we would keep suffering the crime which is usually the resultant effect of family negligence which spreads to the society at large.
We need to restructure our homes by having consistent family meetings starting from the nuclear families of just the father, mother and the children, to the larger family.
There is an urgent need to bring order and sanity to our homes. We all have a part to play if we must enjoy our old age. If we ignore these family values the way it was passed to us by our own parents, grand-parents, when men treasured culture and family values, posterity will definitely ask us and certainly, we will be held responsible for whatever harm our laxity causes in the future.
Moreso, if we keep quiet and feel it’s not our business we will be like Eli, of the Bible story, who reaped the consequence of his children’s misbehaviours simply because he kept quiet where he was supposed to and ofcourse the resultant effect was more damaging than anticipated.
In looking at this repair of family values, we must understand that children learn by example. We only make impact if we can make out time to stay with them regularly to instruct, teach and correct, not leaving them in the hands of house helps just because our work do not permit us spend quality time with them. We must choose which is more essential to us, our children or our jobs and career?
We can only make huge sacrifice if we see the need to be responsible for our families individually and collectively as a society. We will never cease to appreciate our parents who had many children and, yet they were able to nurse, carter and stand by us, made themselves avaialble at all times.
Perpahs we need to imagine what would have become of us if they had abandoned us the same way we are handling our own children today.
To all and sundry, espeically thos that are hoping to have family they would call their own it is a clarion call to note that family does not just end with marriage to a heartthrob or to the love of one’s life as we proclaim, it does not also end in producing children because one is fertile and productive. it does not end at having the money to take care of a woman and do the necessary traditional rites.
Marriage is a full responsibility that everyone who ventures into is held bound to make it work by seeing that the society which is the identity of every individual does not fail because of craze and quest for money and career.
All hands must be on deck to ensure we build a better future for our soceity. It is pertinent, therefore, to fight the raging negative influence popular culture now has on us.
The harm of cultural decadence is numerous. The incessant increase in co-habitation among young people especially in our tertiary institutions cannot be over emphasized. Parents lose their children quarterly to the young boys who impregnate them.
No child who receives proper home training would think of living with a boy or even a man who has not paid her bride prize, but, the lapse has been created by popular culture and young people now see this trend as a norm to live together without the knowledge of their parents on campuses, even in cities like Lagos, Portharcourt and every other major city in our country Nigeria.
Parents may not understand the magnitude of co-habitation in our campuses, but the truth is that it has become a trend that when anyone of both sexes says he or she doesn’t have a boy friend among their peers, they make mockery and caricature of such one whereas, where values are cherished and upheld, such can never be any issue of contention because, children raised in a family with good values always have at the back of their mind that it is not in any way allowed or permitted to live with anyone, man or woman where all the necessary traditional rites are not conducted and completed.
Personal hygiene is an aspect that is totally lacking in this generation of children. This is simply because, parents surround their children with numerous house helps, some families have as many as six maids and house chores are shared among them and the children just fold their hands on their laptops, keep surfing the net, pinging, browsing from one social media to the other and watching all manner of nude pictures and all manner of horror films, at the end, we see where rape, incest has become a life style in homes with or without the parents idea.
Parents have refused to monitor their children because of the free hand and internet access available at their disposal.
However, we can still revive our family values if we see the need to take up certain jobs that can allow us stay close to our children like teaching and entrepreneurship. The media also has a huge role to play in re-orientating people especially, the electronic media through play-lets, dramas as were seen in the days of Zebudiya. There is the need to create programmes that are family value – oriented for a better society and schools from primary school should review their curriculum and programme in such a way that various channels should be used to impact on the lives of these young ones.
Njoku resides in Port Harcourt

L-R: Permanent Secretary, Ministry Of Women Affairs, Hajiya Habiba Lawal; Minister of Women Affairs, and Social Development, Hajiya Zainab Maina; Head of The Civil Service of The Federation, Alhaji Bukar Goni-aji And Permanent Secretary, Ministry Of Tourism, Culture And National Orientation, Mrs Nkechi Ejele, During A Courtesy Visit By The Head of Service To The Minister Of Women Affairs In Abuja, yesterday.
Chidima Njoku
Women
Women Can Go Without Artificial Beauty
Looking good is some women’s business. Looking beautiful for some persons is more important than food. Some prefer to appear trendy instead of attending to household pressure.
Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder. Every woman by creature is beautiful but some persons feel that the way they were created is not enough. They feel that perhaps the creator should have added more features to their physic.
Artificial beauty did not start today, it has been there as far as man exists. From time to time, there has been one form of additional make-up or the other that women especially, must add to their natural look.
When you look at some of our elders, especially women, you notice certain drills or symbols (tattoo) on their skins, mostly on their hands and legs, in form of designs with dark prints. That is a form of artificial beauty. These days, some young ones still use such to beautify themselves.
It is not only women that are involved in artificial beauty, some young men also have likeness for it. It is common nowadays to see younger male folks spend money to pierce their ears to wear earrings. They also style their hairs in various forms to appear like women so as to look more handsome. This no doubt costs them more money than being in their natural look.
Every generation grows with it’s own new systems, items, styles of artificial beauty. Before now, African women generally and Nigeria in particular had their hair in natural form.
As civilisation and westernisation continued, Nigerian women started copying, for instance, perming of their hair to look like the White women. They started using western-produced chemicals (relaxers) to make their hairs look sleepy and smoother.
Nigerian women used to plate their hair with black thread or go with their hair well cut at low level. In terms of weaving, it was without attachment. The issue of women weaving hair with attachment came with civilisation. That is also a form of make-up.
The quest for extra beauty aside the way women were created has been from one generation to another.
Two or three decades ago, ladies used mascaras to darken and thicken their eyelashes. But in this 21st century, another system has evolved. Fixing of artificial eyelashes has become the order of the day.
In that case, it becomes difficult for them to scratch their eyes Incase of any itches. Some of their eyes turn reddish because of the touch.
There was a lady who was fixing her eyelashes in a salon, unfortunately, she got a phone call that her mother was late, as she started crying, it was difficult for her to clean the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.
The reason was for fear of the eye lashes falling off while cleaning the tears off her eyes.
One funny thing about fixing of artificial eyelashes is that some persons cannot close their eyes properly. The beauty they have in mind before fixing is not really achieved as their look become something anybody cannot behold. Both the shape of their eyes and facial outlook automatically change. One begins to wonder if that is the beauty they are looking for. Instead of looking beautiful, the reverse becomes the case.
As years go by, artificial beauty becomes more sophisticated in the society. The price and cost for looking more beautiful than women were created naturally becomes higher than their natural look.
The cosmetic industry becomes one of the most viable industries worldwide because some women desire artificial beauty. Some engage in cosmetic surgery to alter any part of their body which does not give them pleasure especially the fatty parts. Some go for surgery to make their slacked breasts to return to their original shapes as well as those with big tummies.
It is interesting to note that currently, Nigerian ladies have started to give preference to their natural hair and this is attracting a lot of admiration for them. Many prefer that natural look with low cuts. With that, the cost of maintaining the hair by ladies is reduced.
I think this is commendable as it will save the women from the negative effect of chemical used in manufacturing hair relaxers.
It is also common to see ladies on low cut hairs that are either light complexion, red and other funny colours.
People have been addicted to artificial beauty to the extent that they insert certain substances into their bodies to make them become more robust and attractive to their admirers.
I don’t understand why we should be crazy about adding more to our natural look. Every woman wants to look attractive in a packaged manner without recognising the implications of artificial beauty and make-up.
In fact, women’s quest for beauty has taken different dimension as they tend to appear trendy at home, in offices and as they go about their businesses. That is just to feel belonged and achieve self-esteem.
I recall a few years back, my pastor who trained as an Engineer advised women against the use of lipstick. He said that one of the chemical components of lipstick is lead and that it is dangerous to humans. Many women may not understand the reality of what he said until it manifests.
I think those who are naturally beautiful should not go for artificial make-ups. They should be satisfied with the work of their creator. Women should not continue to paint their faces to look like masquerades and should not lose value due to artificial beauty.
It may interest you to know that persons who apply make-ups excessively are mocked instead of being admired. Make-ups can be applied lightly.
Fixing of nails is another business. After fixing nails, some women find it difficult to perform house cores. Washing their personal belongings becomes a problem. The artificial nails become so long and sophisticated to the extent that the bearer cannot handle objects properly. Those in that habit also find it difficult to eat food with the fingers.
There are people who feel they should have been born in certain colour but when the reverse is the case, they seek artificial make-up. Use of skin-toning cream and soap becomes the option for artificial beauty. This happens to the extent that the users start having dark spots on the skin. Blisters occur on their faces and legs.
Unfortunately, this is an era when there are different kinds of cancer affecting women especially. It becomes difficult to identify the kind of make-up that can be cancerous.
It is high time people had stopped following trend to the detriment of their health.
Ladies should not present themselves as laughing stock with unnecessary make-up as they can still be cherished in their natural outlook.
Eunice Choko – Kayode
Women
IDGC: Girls’ Vision For The Future
Yearly, the girls are celebrated not just because they are girls, but because of their importance to families, society and the nation at large.
You will agree that when the girl-child comes into a family first, that family is blessed. The assistance she renders to the family can not be compared to that of the opposite sex.
The job she does in the home cuts across many duties. In the home, she takes care of her younger ones. She assists her mother in carrying out house chores. After her educational career and she obtains a job, she caters for her family even as she is married out. She takes care of her aged parents in her matrimonial home.
This same girl-child when given the right training and opportunities, will also train her offspring. Thus, “train a woman and you train a nation”. When women are at the helms of affairs, things are done better.
Celebrating the girl-child yearly is a call to parents, families, faith-based organisations, non-governmental organisations, governments at all levels, and all relevant organisations that have one or two things to do with the girls to continue to put in place policies that will enhance their well-being.
On a daily basis, the girl-child faces more challenges. Sometimes, she finds it difficult to resist dangers. The issue of rape, violence of any form, sexual harassment, intimidation, discrimination in families about who should go to school or not.
The Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ), Rivers State chapter, called on the government, the state and local assembly to enact laws that criminalise any act capable of impeding the education of the girl-child.
The association made the call as it joined the world to commemorate the International Day of the Girl-Child, in Port Harcourt, Friday.
NAWOJ also appealed to ministry of education and other relevant authorities to prevail against hawking during school hours, as well as call for an end to early girl-child marriage.
The state chairperson of the association, Susan Serekara-Nwikhana, who spoke in an interview with the press said: “We are calling on the Rivers State government, the Rivers State House of Assembly and the Local Assembly to enact laws that criminalise any act capable of impeding on the education of the girl child.
“We also want the government to throw her weight against any girl-child found hawking on the streets during school hours as this will serve as deterrent to any parent or ward that is nursing such idea.
“There is need for every girl-child to be properly educated as this impact generally on the society positively.”
Speaking on the 2024 theme which is, “Girls’ Vision For The Future”, NAWOJ chair stressed the need for parents to prioritise the education of their daughters.
She explained that quality education was key to an assured future for every girl-child, stressing that education unlocks doors of possibilities and the I-can spirit.
Her words: “Remember, you put an end to blind submission when you train the girl-child. Today, many girl-children have been abandoned and are left to pass through harrowing conditions that they never dreamt of due to lack of education.
“Do you know that the girl child suffer most as she is confronted with lots of challenges from the day she was born into a home; siblings rivalry on who should go to school and who should not, a decision that most parents take that negatively impedes on the girl-child and to the day she steps into her husband’s house, especially with a wicked mother-in-law or father-in-law.”
She noted that only those female children privileged to acquire quality education can surmount the challenges that confront them on their way to greatness.
“As we all know that the role of every woman in the society cannot be over-emphasised as such without education given to the gild-child, the society will raise dysfunctional women, who are abused, used and abandoned”, she emphasised.
The NAWOJ chair insisted: “When the girl-child is exposed to education, you have given her opportunity to endless possibilities, thereby putting an end to subjugation and blind subservient”.
As Rivers State joins the rest of the world to mark the 2024 International Day of the Girl-Child, a non-profit organisation, Multi Stakeholders Committee for the Prevention of Gender-Based Violence in Rivers State has called for policies to protect the girl- child against gender-based violence.
It also urged for massive investment in the development of the girl-child.
The group said this in a statement to mark the day.
According to the statement signed by the coordinator of the group, who is also the Head of the Public Defender, Rivers State, Evelyn Membere Asimiea, time has come for the society to stand together and ensure that no girl is left behind.
She also said the celebration which has as its theme, “Girls, Vision For The Future”, is a call to action not just to acknowledge the challenges girls face but to actively empower them.
According to the statement, as we join the global community to celebrate the International Day of the Girl-Child, we are reminded of the powerful potential of every girl and the urgent need to invest in their rights. This year’s theme, “Girls: Vision For The Future,” calls us to action not just to acknowledge the challenges girls face but to actively empower them as leaders of tomorrow.
Mrs Asimiea said time has come for stakeholders including government, civil society organisations, families and individuals to stand together and ensure that no girl is left behind.
“As Coordinator of the Multi-Stakeholders Committee for the Prevention of Gender-Based Violence and Head of the Office of the Public Defender, Rivers State, I wish to highlight that our girls are at the heart of building strong, safe, and prosperous communities. Yet, they are often the most vulnerable to violence, discrimination, and neglect. It is time for all of us—government, civil society, families, and individuals—to stand together and ensure that no girl is left behind”, the statement said.
She also called for massive investment in the girl- child, adding: “Investing in girls means ensuring they have access to quality education, healthcare, and equal opportunities.
“It means protecting them from all forms of gender-based violence (GBV), child marriage, and harmful traditional practices.
“When we invest in the safety, education, and empowerment of girls, we are investing in the future of our state and nation.”
It reiterated its commitment to continue to advocate for the right of the girl child, stressing that the group is working tirelessly to advocate for the rights of girls and the women.
“We are working tirelessly to advocate for the rights of girls and women, providing legal support to survivors of GBV, and pushing for stronger policies to prevent violence and protect their futures.
“But we cannot do it alone. We need every family, every community leader, and every citizen to take responsibility for the well-being of our girls.
“On this day, I urge you all to commit to creating a world where every girl feels safe, valued, and empowered to lead. Together, we can build a Rivers State where girls’ rights are protected, and their leadership flourishes, for the future of all of us”, the coordinator said.
As we mark this year’s girl-child day, women groups all over the world should as a matter of fact, continue to create awareness on the need to develop them in the right way so that they can showcase their potentials.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
Women
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