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Principles Of Good Parenting

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In a recent article, I mentioned that most parents have
    failed to inculcate in their children from early age, the true African and Biblical tenets that will help them meet up with societal expectations and development.
Every good parent must implant in their children, a strong moral foundation of integrity, honesty, trust-worthiness, faithfulness, fairness, humility, and above all, respect for God, elders and constituted authorities, amongst other virtues.
Parents should be exceptionally close to their children. Never neglect to train the child in the way of the Lord, setting aside time every day to look at his school work, teach her the Bible, and pray with and for her (Deuteronomy 6:7-9). Every child needs to have good relationship as well as needs much attention from their parents, especially in their early growing age. When this is lacking, the child starts to have behavioural problems which could jeopardise the future of the child, and thus, frustrate God’s plan for his life (Proverb 22:6). And in order to avoid this negative attitude, every parent must live a disciplined, God-fearing life which would influence their children to live a sober and disciplined, God-fearing life as well.
Harsh Disciplinary measures should also be avoided. Discipline means training, especially of the mind and character to produce self-controlled habits of obedience. There are two weapons of discipline, according to the Bible, for correction: The Rod – Proverb 23: 13-14 and Reproof – Proverb 29:15. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances, because children who are spanked, hit or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children, and are more likely to be bullies and feel it is only by using aggression that disputes can be solved with others. In discipline, timing is very important – Proverb 19:18, “by neglecting timely correction, the child develops a stubbornness that will hardly ever be conquered,” (Rice, 1946). You must bear also this in mind before applying discipline: Is the child guilty? Let her know! Have you earlier taught her the correct thing? Was the offence deliberate? Don’t discipline in anger, but in love, discipline must be commensurate with the offence. Punishment should not be your goal, but repentance through correction.  
On the other hand, every child needs respect. Respect is opinion. Treat her kindly. Speak to your child politely and pay attention to her when she is speaking to you. Treat your child respectfully as this is the only way you can get respectful treatment from her too. Give that child the same courtesies you would give to any special guests. Try to please her when you can, bearing in mind that a child treats others the way their parents treat them. This is to say that your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationship with others.
Being your child’s role model is also important. By living an exemplary God-honouring life before her, since what you do matters a lot and makes great difference in the life of your kids as they watch your every action. Always ask yourself, “what do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that needed result?”  
Parents must be involved in the total development of the child. Although this is not easy, because it requires a lot of sacrifices on the side of the parents, in terms of time, attention and hard work, but must be done for you to beat your chest and be proud of yourself and the child. It often means rearranging your priorities, sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there both mentally as well as physically. Although, this does not mean taking over your child’s homework and doing them. Allow the child do her homework. All she needs is for you to guide her from early age. Homework helps the child prove to you her understanding of what she learnt from school, and as well helps the teacher to know if the child is actually learning. This question should guide every parent fond of doing their child’s home works: As a parent, bearing in mind what Proverb 22:6 says, ask yourself this question, “If I do her home works at this early age, for how long will I continue to do it for her?
It is also necessary to foster your child’s independence. For your child to be successful in life, you must set limits and boundaries which help her develop a sense of self-control. Also encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. In most families today, many parents mistake their children’s independence with rebelliousness and disobedience whereas this is part of human nature to want to feel in control, rather than feel controlled. This is the push for autonomy and not rebelliousness or disobedience.
Adjust your parenting to fit your child. As your child grows up, keep pace with your child’s development. The same intellectual growth that makes your 12-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also makes her argumentative at the dinner table. The same drive for independence that makes your child of two-year-old say: ‘no’ all the time is what motivates her to be thoroughly trained as well.
Parents should establish and set rules: This is where obedience is very important. Obedience is never complete until it is immediate, absolute and done willingly. Obedience also, is the conditioning of the mind to follow set rules. If the child is disobedient to set rules, that means you did not manage your child’s behavior when she was growing, and as a result, she will have a hard time learning how to manage when she is old. The rules she learns from you shape the rules she applies. Every parent at every point in time, should be able to answer the following questions if asked anytime. Where are their children? What are they doing? Who are they with?
Don’t over-pamper your child in the name of love. Most parents think that by over-pampering, they are showing love to the child. Don’t spoil your child with love because it is usually the consequence of giving things to a child in place of love. Set limits and boundaries for her, and ensure you are consistent in enforcing discipline when she over-steps her boundaries.
Parents should be consistent in rules setting. This is your most important disciplinary tool. If you enforce your rules only intermittently and these rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion how will your child cope with such variations? At this point in time, her misbehavior is caused by you not her because you throw her into confusion. Identify your non-negotiable. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.   
Rules and decisions must be understandable. Good parents have good expectations that they want their children to live up to. But if you over-explain to children and under-explain to adolescent, you may be making a costly mistake.

 

Susan Serekara-Nwikhana

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Opinion

Betrayal: Vice Of Indelible Scar

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The line that separates betrayal and corruption is very thin. Betrayal and corruption are two sides of the same coin. Like the snail and its shell they are almost inseparable. They go hand-in-globe. Betrayal and corruption are instinctive in humans and they are birthed by people with inordinate ambition – people without principles, without regard for ethical standards and values. Looking back to the days of Jesus Christ, one of his high profile disciples-the treasurer, was a betrayer. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus Christ for just 30 pieces of silver. One of the characteristics of betrayers is greed.
So, when on resumption from his  imposed suspension, the Rivers State Governor, Sir Siminilayi Fubara threatened to bring permanent secretaries who were found complicit in “defrauding” the State during the days of Locust and Caterpillar regime, he did not only decry a loot of the Treasury but the emotional trauma of betrayal perpetrated by those who swore to uphold the ethics of the civil service. Governor Siminilayi Fubara had least expected that those who feigned loyalty to his administration would soon become co-travellers with an alien administration whose activities were repugnant to the “Rivers First” mantra of his administration. The saying that if you want to prove the genuineness of a person’s love and loyalty feign death, finds consummate expression in the Governor Fubara and some of the key members of the State engine room
Some of those who professed love for Governor Siminilayi Fubara  and Rivers State could not resist the lure and enticement of office in the dark days of Rivers State, like Judas Iscariot.  Rather, they chose to identify with the locusts and the caterpillars for their selfish interest. Julius Caesar did not die from the stab of Brutus but by his emotional attachment to him, hence he exclaimed in utter disappointment, “Even you Brutus”. The wound of betrayal never heals and the scar is indelible. Unfortunately, today, because of gross moral turpitude and declension in ethical standards and values, betrayal and corruption are celebrated and rewarded. Corruption, a bane of civil/public service is sublime in betrayal. The quest to get more at the expense of the people is the root of betrayal and sabotage.
This explains why Nigeria at 65 is the World’s capital of poverty.
Nigeria is not a poor country, yet, millions are living in hunger, abject poverty and avoidable misery. What an irony. Nigeria, one of Africa’s largest economies and most populous nation is naturally endowed with 44 mineral resources, found in 500 geographical locations in commercial quantity  across the country. According to Nigeria’s former Minister for Mines and Steel Development, Olamiekan Adegbite, the mineral resources include: baryte, kaolin, gymsium, feldspar, limestone, coal, bitumen, lignite, uranium, gold, cassiterite, columbite, iron ore, lead, zinc, copper, granite, laterite, sapphire, tourmaline, emerald, topaz, amethyst, gamer, etc. Nigeria has a vast uncultivated arable land even as its geographical area is approximately 923, 769 sq km (356,669 sq ml).
“This clearly demonstrates the wide mineral spectrum we are endowed with, which offers limitless opportunities along the value-chain, for job creation, revenue growth. Nigeria  provides one of the highest rates of return because its minerals are closer to the suffer”, Adegbite said. Therefore, poverty in Nigeria is not the consequences of lack of resources and manpower but inequality, misappropriation, outright embezzlement, barefaced corruption that is systemic and normative in leaders and  public institutions. According to the World Poverty Clock 2023, Nigeria has the awful distinction of being the world capital of poverty with about 84 million people living in extreme poverty today.
The National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) data also revealed that a total of 133 million people in Nigeria are classed as multi-dimensionally poor. Unemployment is a major challenge in the country. About 33 percent of the labour force are unable to find a job at the prevailing wage rate. About 63 percent of the population are poor because of lack of access to health, education, employment, and security. Nigeria Economic Summit Group (NESG) speculated that unemployment rate will increase to 37 percent in 2023. The implications, therefore, is increase in unemployment will translate to increase in the poverty rate. The World Bank, a Washington-based and a multi-lateral development institution,  in its macro-poverty outlook for Nigeria for April 2023 projected that 13 million Nigerians will fall below the National Poverty line by 2025.
It further stated that the removal of subsidy on petroleum products without palliatives will result to 101 million people being poor in Nigeria. Statistics also show that “in 2023 nearly 12 percent of the world population of extreme poverty lived in Nigeria, considering poverty threshold at 1.90 US dollars a day”.Taking a cursory look at the Nigerian Development Update (NDU), the World Bank said “four million Nigerians were pushed into poverty  between January and June 2023 and 7.1 million more will join if the removal of subsidy is not adequately managed.” These startling revelations paint a grim and bleak future for the social-economic life of the people.The alarming poverty in the country is a conspiracy of several factors, including corruption. In January, 2023 the global anti-corruption watchdog, Transparency International, in its annual corruption prospect index which ranks the perceived level of public sector corruption across 180 countries in the world says Nigeria ranked 150 among 180 in the index. Conversely, Nigeria is the 30th most corrupt nation in the ranking. It is also the capital of unemployment in the world.
Truth be told: a Government that is corruption-ridden lacks the capacity to build a vibrant economy that will provide employment for the teeming unemployed population. So crime and criminality become inevitable. No wonder, the incessant cases of violent crimes and delinquency among young people. Corruption seems to be the second nature of Nigeria as a nation . At the root of Nigerians’ poverty is the corruption cankerworm.How  the nation got to this sordid economic and social precipice is the accumulation of years of corrupt practices with impunity by successive administrations.  But the hardship Nigerians are experiencing gathered momentum between 2015 and 2023 and reached the climax few days after President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, who assumed power as president of Nigeria, removed the controversial petroleum subsidy. Since then, there is astronomical increase in transport fares, and prices of commodities. Living standard of most Nigerians is abysmally low, essential commodities are out of reach of the poor masses who barely eat once a day.
The Dollar to Naira exchange rate ratio at one dollar to N1,000, is the most economy-unfriendly in the annals of the history of Nigeria. The prohibitive prices of petroleum products with the attendant multi-dimensional challenges following the removal of the subsidy, has posed a nightmare better to be imagined than experienced. Inflation, has been on the increase, negatively affecting the purchasing power of  low income Nigerians. Contributing to the poverty scourge is the low private investment due to.unfriendly business environment and lack of power supply, as well as low social development outcomes resulting in low productivity. The developed economies of the world are private sector-driven. So the inadequate involvement of the private sector in Nigeria’s economy, is a leading cause of unemployment which inevitably translates to poverty.

 

Igbiki Benibo

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Opinion

Dangers Of Unchecked Growth, Ambition

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In today’s fast-paced, hyper-competitive world, the pursuit of success and growth has become an all-consuming force. Individuals, organisations, and nations alike, are locked in a perpetual struggle to achieve more, earn more, and surpass their rivals. Yet, beneath this relentless drive for progress lies a silent danger—the risk of self-destruction. This perilous pattern, which I call the self-destruct trajectory, describes the path taken when ambition and growth are pursued without restraint, awareness, or moral balance. The self-destruct trajectory is fueled by an insatiable hunger for more—a mindset that glorifies endless expansion while disregarding the boundaries of ethics, sustainability, and human well-being. At first glance, it may appear to promise prosperity and achievement. After all, ambition has long been celebrated as a virtue. But when growth becomes the only goal, it mutates into obsession.
Individuals burn out, organisations lose their soul, and societies begin to fracture under the weight of their own excesses. The consequences are everywhere. People pushed beyond their limits face anxiety, exhaustion, and disconnection. Companies sacrifice employee welfare and social responsibility on the altar of profit. The entire ecosystems suffer as forests are cleared, oceans polluted, and air poisoned in the name of economic progress. The collapse of financial systems, widening income inequality, and global environmental crises are all symptoms of this same relentless, self-consuming pursuit. To understand this dynamic, one can turn to literature—and to Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist. In one of the novel’s most haunting scenes, young Oliver, starving in the workhouse, dares to utter the words: “Please, sir, I want some more.” This simple plea encapsulates the essence of human desire—the urge for more. But it also mirrors the perilous craving that drives the self-destruct trajectory. Like Oliver, society keeps asking for “more”—more wealth, more power, more success—without considering the consequences of endless wanting.
The workhouse itself symbolises the system of constraints and boundaries that ambition often seeks to defy. Oliver’s courage to ask for more represents the daring spirit of human aspiration—but it also exposes the risk of defying limits without reflection. Mr. Bumble, the cruel overseer, obsessed with authority and control, embodies the darker forces that sustain this destructive cycle: greed, pride, and the illusion of dominance. Through this lens, Dickens’ tale becomes a timeless metaphor for the modern condition—a warning about what happens when ambition blinds compassion and growth eclipses humanity. Avoiding the self-destruct trajectory requires a radical rethinking about success. True progress should not be measured solely by accumulation, but by balance—by how growth serves people, planet, and purpose.
This calls for a more holistic approach to achievement, one that values sustainability, empathy, and integrity alongside innovation and expansion
Individuals must learn to pace their pursuit of goals, embracing rest, reflection, and meaningful relationships as part of a full life. The discipline of “enough”—knowing when to stop striving and start appreciating—can restore both mental well-being and moral clarity. Organisations, on their part, must reimagine what it means to succeed: prioritising employee welfare, practising environmental stewardship, and embedding social responsibility in the core of their mission. Governments and policymakers also play a vital role. They can champion sustainable development through laws and incentives that reward ethical practices and environmental responsibility. By investing in education, renewable energy, and equitable economic systems, they help ensure that ambition is channeled toward collective benefit rather than collective ruin.
Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) provides a tangible pathway for this transformation. When businesses take ownership of their social and environmental impact—reducing carbon footprints, supporting local communities, and promoting fair labour—they not only strengthen society but also secure their own long-term stability. Sustainable profit is, after all, the only kind that endures. Ultimately, avoiding the self-destruct trajectory is not about rejecting ambition—it is about redefining it. Ambition must evolve from a self-centred hunger for more into a shared pursuit of the better. We must shift from growth at all costs to growth with conscience. The future will belong not to those who expand endlessly, but to those who expand wisely. By embracing restraint, compassion, and sustainability, we can break free from the cycle of self-destruction and create a new narrative—one where success uplifts rather than consumes, and where progress builds rather than burns.
In the end, the question is not whether we can grow, but whether we can grow without losing ourselves. The choice is ours: to continue along the self-destruct trajectory, or to chart a more balanced, humane, and enduring path toward greatness.

 

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Opinion

Gridlock at the Gates

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Quote:” City planners have long warned against overloading central arteries with industrial traffic. Port Harcourt, being a commercial hub, must observe those cautions. Let this Government House corridor not become a permanent choke point.”
It was midmorning when the rumbles began. From the direction of the factory opposite Government House, a long convoy of heavy trailers edged slowly into the already congested artery. Drivers, helpless, contended with idle cars, impatient motorbikes and pedestrians hawking wares. The gridlock that ensued was inevitable  and dangerous. That stretch of road has long struggled with traffic, even under normal circumstances. But when trailers laden with goods destined for that factory arrived in the heart of the city, the resulting chaos tests the limits of road safety and civic order. What should have been a routine delivery turned into a spectacle of stalled vehicles, honking horns and frustrated commuters.Commuters arriving from the east and west found themselves at the mercy of fate. Buses squeezed past gaps, sometimes brushing mirrors.
Motorcyclists always audacious darted between trailers and cars, risking life for a few extra seconds. Pedestrians, navigating narrow sidewalks, were sometimes forced onto the road. A mother clutching her child crossed dozens of vehicles to reach a bus stop. An office worker, already late, dashed between vehicles narrowly avoiding being clipped by a reversing trailer. A delivery van, stuck mid?way, belched smoke as its engine laboured. It was a microcosm of urban mayhem. The danger is not hypothetical. One trailer, reversing without adequate sight, could crush small vehicles behind it. A sudden jerk of an overloaded container might dislodge cargo. A pedestrian stepping from between cars is invisible to a trailer’s blind spots.  In the event of fire or medical emergency, blocked lanes could turn a crisis into tragedy.Residents in nearby quarters — the civil servants’ neighbourhood, local shops, offices  stood to suffer the most. Their streets are collateral damage.
 The hum of commerce is stifled, delivery schedules disrupted, lives endangered. In moments like these, city planning is revealed naked  its flaws exposed for all to see.One elderly man, waiting for a bus, remarked: “All I need is ten minutes to reach my office. But today, I cannot even cross to the bus stop safely.”His voice quivered, not from fear alone, but from frustration. Others muttered about lack of traffic control, absence of escorts, poor coordination.It is tempting to blame just the truck drivers. But the problem is deeper. The timing of deliveries, the route choice, the lack of alternative access roads, and the absence of coordinated traffic management all conspire to produce this mess. Government House being the focal point only magnifies the stakes.We know this area in Rivers State is sensitive, high profile. Government officials, dignitaries and official vehicles traverse that corridor many times a day.
To see trailers lumbering past security parlours, squeezing past guard booths, is to court risk both symbolic and physical. At least twice this year, small collisions have occurred there  a trailer striking a road divider, another brushing a sedan. Thankfully injuries were minor. But next time, the outcome may not be so forgiving. The margin for error is shrinking. What can be done? The first step is scheduling. Heavy trailers should not come at peak hours. Late-night or early?morning slots, when traffic is minimal, should be mandated. This simple shift would relieve the burden on daytime traffic. Second, alternative access. If the factory had a back entrance or service road away from the main artery, trailers could avoid the central route entirely. Even a temporary bypass could serve until permanent measures are built. Third, coordination with traffic authorities. The state’s traffic management agency must be looped in — to provide escorts, clear pathways, regulate entry and exit times. Without their presence, chaos reigns.
Fourth, strict enforcement. Trailers that defy timing orders or block lanes should attract penalties. Fines, impoundment, or delays could discourage reckless scheduling. Consistency here matters. Fifth, signage and awareness. Drivers, residents and commercial operators alike must know the restrictions. Clear signs, public announcements and coordination with the factory management will help. No one should claim ignorance. Sixth, advance notice. Residents and road users deserve alerts when heavy traffic is expected. That way they can plan alternate routes and minimize exposure to danger. Seventh, standing zones. Designated holding areas for trailers — safe zones where they can queue without entering the congested corridor. This would prevent multiple trailers crowding into the central route at once. If these measures are ignored, the dangers worsen. A panic situation — say a health emergency in that neighborhood — could be fatally delayed by gridlock. Fire engines or ambulances might be unable to manoeuvre. Lives would hang in the balance.
Insurance costs will rise. Businesses fronting the road may suffer loss of customers. The reputation of city management will take a hit. And worst of all, a tragic accident might claim an innocent life. We can end this madness but only if the will is firm and immediate. Rivers State government must act. The factory management too must show responsibility, coordinating delivery times and ensuring their drivers comply. A committee comprising traffic authorities, local government, factory management and community representatives  should be formed, tasked with drawing a traffic relief plan, fast. Sit?downs, surveys, consultations — done in days, not months. In the interim, emergency measures can help. Temporary traffic diversions, rope-off lanes, manual marshals guiding trailers, police presence all can ease the burden while long-term plans are prepared. Community vigilance is critical. Residents and road users must report blocking trailers, reckless driving, and violations to authorities. If the populace insists on accountability, officials are more likely to act.
City planners have long warned against overloading central arteries with industrial traffic. Port Harcourt, being a commercial hub, must observe those cautions. Let this Government House corridor not become a permanent choke point.The tragedy of inaction is that the problem compounds. Tonight’s chaos seeds tomorrow’s delay; next week’s near?miss becomes a crash. If we let the problem persist, we court disaster. This is more than a traffic story. It’s about governance, foresight, respect for human life. It’s about restoring order in a city that cries out daily for planning and discipline. Let no more trailers barge freely into this corridor. Let us refuse to accept gridlock as normal. Let Rivers State reclaim its roads, its safety, its dignity. It is time to end this once and for all.
By: By King Onunwor
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