Women
Why Frustrate The Widows?
Mrs. Daba .G. Amachree, wife of late Elder Gabriel Amachree with some family members, during a condolence visit of the Rivers State Government to victims of the Rerun National and State House of Assembly elections in ASALGA. Photo: Egberi .A. Sampson
Without mincing
words, the death of a loved one, especially one that leaves a remarkable vacuum in the life of the living, is an experience that calls for sympathy and probably practical gesture that would be aimed at reducing the impact of the loss.
To many, the loss of a breadwinner, places them in an unstable state, that takes them a long time to rediscover themselves and see meaning in life again.
This precisely is the story of many widows who had leaned earnestly on their late spouses. The news of the death of their spouses do not only throw them into a big shock, it destabilises their stronghold; economically, socially and otherwise.
To these ones, it takes the intervention of philanthropists to make life meaningful again to them.
Only those who know what it means to lose a pillar of one’s life, know how to manage the remains of the living. Ohiowale Rachael Chukwueroka, popularly known as Ehidiana of Wazobia Radio FM, Port Harcourt, is one among many that had taken a stand to reduce the pains and burdens of widows in our neighbourhood. Her yearly charity gesture, known as “A Day With the Widows”, provides a platform for her to touch the lives of widows and put smiles on their faces so they can see reason to live on and flow along with others.
Apart from Ehidiana, our daily news is replete with names of politicians, philanthropists and some religious outfits who also visit the widows to alleviate their plight.
Yet, amidst these ones with the heart of gold towards humanity, exist others who feed well in the tears of people. Such ones would hardly see any reason to sypathise with the widows and so would stop at nothing in making sure that their pains and sorrows know no end.
They are men and women who would want widows to lose everything not excluding their own lives all because they lost their husbands.
How does it feel to lose one’s status, livelihood or property, all for a loss of husband? Painful! I guess, yet this situation has become the portion of many widows in our society today.
At various times in different localities, cases have been reported about how widows are treated at the demise of their husbands. While some are foced to drink their husband’s corpse’s bath water, others are subjected to sit on bare floor, bare bodied and with their hairs shaven without recourse to the health hazard these actions predispose the victims to.
The sin of these widows cannot be far from the death of their husbands which is often suspected to have been caused by the living widows, but how true is this allegation?
To address this worrisome culture, the United Nations set aside June 23rd every year as “International Widows Day,” to stress that, “no widow should lose her status, livelihood or property at the death of her husband.
Unfortunately, millions of our widows face persistent abuse, discrimination, disinheritance and destitution. As a result of this development, the Federation of Women Lawyers has at various time championed the defense of many widows who had faced one form of torture or the other from their in-law homes but for how long will this last? What about those who cannot reach the women lawyers for assistance and cannot also take their case to the law court for lack of financial and moral support?
Many at times it is hard to believe that a man would lose his spouse, and he is being sympathised and not just that, he attracts genuine sympathy from people, he is assisted to bear the burden and be eased of his sorrow. This same man can resume his work the next day while the late wife remains unburied and even after burial he is encouraged to remarry in less than one month yet the society does not frown at it. Should that which is good for the geese not be good for the gander?
There is whatsoever no reason for any woman to lose her status, livelihood or property because she has lost her husband.
In as much as the life of the woman does not terminate at the demise of her husband, there is every need for her to be given the enabling environment so as to gather the pieces of her life and live it well. The woman is not a lesser mortal to the man and so, every human right violation on her, stemming from the unjust view of the woman as having a diminishing value must stop.By the message of the United Nations General Secretary, Ban Ki Moon, last year. “We must erase the social stigmatisation and economic deprivation that widows are faced with eliminate their high risk of sexual abuse and exploitation and remove the barriers to resources and economic opportunities that constrain their future. We must also advance widows equal rights to inheritance, property, land and other assets.
The vision of a life of dignity for all will remain a mirage without a resolve to end all discriminatory attitudes against widows and ensure that widows of all ages enjoy equal human rights, including the right to shape their future and to participate fully in society.
Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
