Women
Mentoring The Girl-Child: A Mother’s Role
In a layman’s understanding, a mother is that woman who biologically gives birth to a young child while the word “daughter” refers to a female child biologically given birth to by a woman. Motherhood goes beyond the idea of having one’s own child biologically. By adoption, a woman also becomes a mother of a child.
Thus, the moment a woman begins to undertake the training and upbringing of a child, irrespective of who he or she is, she becomes a mother. However, she could be referred to as a foster mother.
In today’s issue, we are very much concerned about what should be the ideal, standard relationship between a mother and the daughter.
Living amidst different homes and families, one watches with dismay the theatricals often displayed on daily basis by mothers and their so-called daughters, although there is no doubt that homes exist which understand what relationship means.
In many families, it was witnessed or discovered that mothers and daughters see themselves as rivals. A woman carries her daughter along to the point of maturity and from thence on she abandons her to her fate.
In such home, there is lack of confidence between the mothers and their daughters, so much that the daughters keep their feelings far from the understanding of their mothers, instead they confide in mothers outside their homes, and friends for solutions to their emotional problems.
The reason for this seeming frosty relationship, a seasoned family counsellor said, is because of the mothers’ initial actions towards their growing daughters. According to her, most women think that to instill discipline in a child is to create fear in her. So much that a child now fears her mother more than she fears her school teachers.
Every action of the child is greeted with shouts and scoldings, no time is spared to know the problems and feelings of a child in the house.
The result is that the child is resolved to suppressing and keeping her feelings to herself and pretending to be in good form all the time.
Come to think of it, at fifteen yeas of age, a mother ought to be seen as a friend, companion, mate and helper in her daughter. At this point the rod ceases to be the sole corrective measure.
Advice and sometimes polite rebuke could take the place of the rod. The child should be drawn very close to the mother to the point that she too begins to see the mum as her first friend and companion, in whom she could confide.
Mothers, from time to time, especially during kitchen time with their daughters, should initiate talks on issues that are regarded as no-go areas, this will help in great measure to bond them together.
The understanding word here is openness. The mothers should as much as possible be open to their daughters, initiate questions that will help find out certain information from them from which the children could be assessed as per their level of assimilation into the world.
On daily basis, it is the place of the mother to keep a close watch on the daughter and carefully query any strange behaviour from her, she too, must be given a sense of belonging by trying to provide and care for her so that no vacuum is created and so there will be no reason for a yearning to fill a vacuum outside.
As a matter of fact, no mother should create an impression that her daughter could be bettered by an external hand. No!
Instead the maintenance of any growing girl should top the priority of the mother for that is a major way of saving her from external influences.
Above all, no mother should hoard any vital information from the daughter, especially those that bother on life, and from time to time, create avenues for discussions on such life issues where she could be free to ask questions and no matter how silly the questions may pose. They have to be answered.
Mothers must always expose their daughters to good and evil but emphasis must be placed on the need to choose good and the implication of choosing evil.
If need be, create a big phobia in their hearts for evil acts so that they live to dread doing the wrong one.
The growing girl needs love, and this first love must come from her mother for it is what she gets from the mother she carries over to her own home. In due time, the mother has no reason not to be closer to her daughter.
Remember, closeness and openness are the key words in a standard mother-daughter relationship.
Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
