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Consequences Of High Bride Price

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Bride price is payment made by a groom or his kin to the family of the bride in order to ratify a marriage.  It is paid by the family of the groom to their future in-laws at the start of the marriage usually in cash and materials.
Bride price in Nigeria varies from one ethnic group to another.  What obtains as bride price in Rivers State may be different from Kogi State in terms of cash and materials required by the bride’s family. Although there are a few similarities in the list of items to be provided by the groom in Nigeria.
It also varies from family to family. Some families collect as low as N5,000 while others collect as high as N1,000,000.
There are criticisms that this African tradition of paying bride price to the bride’s family before marriage degrades a woman by putting a required monetary value on a wife.But those who support the tradition uphold it as a cherished cultural and religious symbol of marriage.
Some families see bride price as symbolic, hence they ask for less. I have seen a situation where the mother of the bride collected N30,000 and later gave it back to the couple, asking them to put it in their bank account so that it will serve as a “starter pack”. This shows that she wasn’t really giving her out for money.
In our local setting, a marriage is recognised only when bride price and gift items have been presented to the bride’s family.  It is important because it validates marriage to give a woman respectable status in the society as a wife.
The importance of bride price can never be over-emphasised. It is one of the highest honours confirming a bride’s value and womanhood, giving a husband the full rights to the economic and reproductive powers of his wife. It is an honour bestowed on the parents that their daughter is getting married.
I see nothing wrong in payment of bride price but in recent time, the issue of high bride price seems to be competitive among families whose daughters are ripe for marriage.It is alarming and heart-breaking how newly-wedded couples end up paying debts years after marriage. When demanding for high bride price, some parents do not realise the fact that the yet-to-be couple will plan for church and court (Registry). The Registry requires little token. Although, the clergy will not ask, but the couple need to settle one or two things in church.
More worrisome is the fact that some parents demand a live cow from an in-law as if the lady is to be exchanged. I know of a culture where cow must be provided to her kinsmen by the surviving husband or children before a late woman must be buried. The claim is that the man didn’t complete the marriage rites before the death if the woman. This is just to extort money from the late woman’s children.
A young man was mandated to pay about N2million to the wife’s kins after losing her during child birth, simply because he never completed marriage rites. What about the welfare of the surviving child?
A situation where a basin of fish that costs over N200,000 must be presented in the name of bride price for a traditional marriage to be contracted gave me concern.
A father also demanded about N1million as dowry for his daughter. For Christ’s sake, no amount of money collected as bride price can pay all the expenses from birth to University level of a lady as this is the dream of greater percentage of our parents nowadays. No amount of money can buy a woman. “Her value is inestimable”.
High bride price can cause disharmony between husband and his in-laws. A young man was lamenting that after his marriage, his in-laws can never be allowed into his family. This is as a result of whatever high bride price they would have charged.
High bride price can cause a man to exhibit violent behaviours when he remembers how much he paid. He gets angry at every little thing the wife does which can lead to domestic violence. The implication is that the woman will suffer in silence with the fear that the man may demand for the high bride price if she leaves the marriage.
Income from her job or personal business is seen by the man as his. She is being denied freedom on using her income and often leads to a situation where the husband must be consulted before any monetary transaction in the family. This leads to hostile marital environment and can destabilise the marriage.
Man dominates the woman in terms of decision-making. The woman has little say or nothing when issues come up in the home. He can say: “Don’t talk, I paid heavily”.
One of the consequences of high bride price is that if perhaps divorce occurs, the bride and the family, according to customary norms, have to return the dowry. If the dowry were very expensive to the tune of N1million, they may not be able to pay back.
High bride price encourages gender inequality. It reduces the power and prestige of the woman with the perception that she was paid for.
High bride price leads to poverty. A couple may have been forced to incur debts in the course of marriage. These are young men and women who are starting life perhaps after graduation and have not made enough savings. Paying back debts incurred during weddings for two to three years should be discouraged.
For many young men, withdrawal syndrome sets in when they remember that they have to provide as much as N1million to marry a wife. You see someone going to marry at the age 50 because he didn’t have enough.  Even the ladies are also affected here. Some men get scared of going into such families or ethnic groups for marriage.  When will they train their children?
No matter the status of the groom, minimal amount should be fixed for dowry to avoid certain consequences in future. Family of the bride should take cognizance of the fact that their daughter deserves some comfort in her new home.
It is high time the traditional institutions worked through their subjects in the various communities to create awareness on the dangers of high bride price in our society.
Community heads who are saddled with the responsibility of marriage functions and rites should be advised to cut down some of the items and reduce the costs of available ones.
I call on local government councils to work with traditional rulers, community and family
heads as well as women leaders to come out with minimum and maximum amount of money and other items needed as bride price and dowry.
It should be domesticated in the by-laws of the local councils across Nigeria.

 

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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My Thought On St Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day, February 14, is one of those occasions that evoke mixed reactions from different people. For some, it is a magical day filled with love, romance, and grand gestures. For others, it is an over-commercialised event that puts unnecessary pressure on relationships and individuals. Personally, I have a balanced perspective on Valentine’s Day—I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I also recognise its drawbacks. At its core, Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love, which is a beautiful concept. Love, in its many forms—romantic, platonic, familial—is worth recognizing and cherishing. In a fast-paced world where people are constantly busy, having a designated day to express affection and appreciation for loved ones can be meaningful. It serves as a reminder to nurture relationships and make time for those who matter most. For many couples, it is an opportunity to rekindle romance, spend quality time together, and create cherished memories.
However, Valentine’s day celebration has left a sour taste in many marriages and relationships. On this day some years ago, my friend’s five-year-old marriage crashed due to irreconcilable differences between her and her husband which resulted from Valentine’s Day celebration. The man was alleged to have spent the “Lovers Day” in a hotel with another woman, an accusation he denied. There followed accusations and counter-accusations and a series of problems that culminated in divorce. Just like my friend, many people have ugly stories to tell about Valentine’s Day. Many couples have had fights on Valentine’s Day when one of them did not buy a nice enough gift or worse still forgets to buy a gift. Many people, especially the young ones have had to do all kinds of unspeakable things to raise money for the event. All these negative stories have made many wonder if the day is worth celebrating.
Valentine’s Day started out well. It is a very old and religious celebration centred around Saint Valentine. Stories have it that Emperor Claudius II of the Roman Empire decided that young men should be soldiers, so he outlawed marriage. Claudius handed down this decree believing that soldiers would be distracted and unable to concentrate on fighting if they were married or engaged. Valentine, a Catholic Priest, defied the emperor and secretly performed marriage ceremonies. He was thrown into prison and put to death on February 14. Valentine believed in the power of love. He identified with couples that were genuinely in love and paid the supreme prize for his love for others. Valentine’s Day was therefore set aside for the exchange of gifts with loved ones, friends, relatives and others.
Today the meaning of Valentine’s Day is gone because society rewrote it. With all the radio and television and social media hype the day is enjoying, as well as all the activities up in many cities for the event, it is obvious the real meaning of the day is being misused. Many have argued that various love activities on the night of Valentine’s Day are capable of luring youth into fornication, alcoholism and other social vices, and are big threats to the lives of the younger generation. As a matter of fact, many young people are taking advantage of this day to carry out all sorts of immoral acts. Many get pregnant, relationships are broken, many contact dreadful diseases like HIV/AIDS and the future of many is shattered. Valentine’s Day is certainly not meant to encourage people particularly the youth to engage in inappropriate sex and other forms of immorality. History did not tell us that St Valentine was a fornicator. So, it is absurd associating Valentine’s Day with sexual promiscuity.
Meanwhile, the emphasis on romance can make those who are single feel left out, as if their happiness is dependent on having a partner. In reality, love comes in many forms, and self-love is just as important as romantic relationships. Instead of seeing Valentine’s Day as a day only for couples, it can be an opportunity to celebrate love in a broader sense—spending time with loved ones, practising self-care, or simply appreciating life. I think for Valentine’s Day celebration to make more meaning in our lives as individuals and as a society, we must have to do things right. Let us use this day of love to celebrate all the people in our lives. This is what Valentine’s Day should really be like, seizing the opportunity to tell the people we love that they are special to us and actually making time to do something about it. It should be an opportunity to strengthen family ties and friendships rather than just focusing on romantic relationships.
The point of this day is not to indulge in immoral acts in the name of love or ruin your relationship over material things. The point of Valentine’s Day is, or at least should be, to appreciate one another. We are expected to use this date to pay tribute to love, this universal human value that transcends geographic, religious and cultural challenges. There is no doubt that when such selfless, true love is expressed to one another there will be peace in our families and the country in general, especially when neighbourly love is practised not only on Valentine’s Day but every day. Churches, Non-Governmental Organisations, states and federal ministries in charge of youth affairs are encouraged to emulate the former Archbishop of Lagos, Anthony Cardinal Olubunmi, in Okojie who usually gathered youths on Valentine’s Day and taught them the essence of the day and also engaged them meaningfully. Youths need to be occupied with important, useful activities like charity work, visit to the needy. This will enable them to appreciate and love others and at the same time make them better citizens.
Valentine’s Day should be redefined beyond romantic relationships. Some organisations, schools and individuals use the occasion to engage in charity work, visiting orphanages, hospitals, and less privileged communities to spread love in a more impactful way. This is commendable as it highlights the importance of love in all its forms—romantic, familial, and humanitarian. Everything must be done to ensure that the purity of the society is not abused through Valentine’s Day celebration. We should also not forget that love is not about a single day; it is about a consistent effort and care we show all year round.

Calista Ezeaku

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Leveraging On Manpower Dev: Tai LG Model

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Specialised training or education is the bedrock of the development of the much needed manpower that is elusive in many societies. Most developed economies and societies are human capital driven and not necessarily a function of availability or abounding of natural resources. That explains why Nigeria, with more than 40 mineral resources in over 500 locations, is savagely dwarfed in development. But countries like Cape de Verde, a zero natural resources economy is one of the fastest developing economies in Africa. Cape de Verde economy thrives on tourism. China with over two billion people, the most populous nation in the world, is technology driven. And technology is a function of an efficient and effective manpower development. China, unlike some years back when she was grappling with the attendant vicissitudes of a Third World country, today remains the envy of many nations of the world.
A nation that once depended on international donor agencies for financial assistance and economic development, is an economic force to reckon with, giving grants and loans to developing nations and economies, including Nigeria-the acclaimed giant of Africa. “He who pays the piper” they say, “dictates the tune”, so China playing a leading role in the economic and infrastructural development of many African countries, no doubt, has the capacity to influence the political developments in beneficiary countries.Specialised or skilled manpower is an indispensable tool to midwife development in critical sectors of any society. The Rt. Hon. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi endeared himself to several youths in Rivers State through his Greater Horizon and Opportunities Programme (GHOP) and the Overseas Specialised Scholarship Programme which saw over 5,000 indigent Rivers State youths trained abroad to remedy deficient manpower sectors of the State.
Though his successor, Chief Nyesom Wike discontinued with the programmes operated through the Rivers State Sustainable Development Agency (RSSDA) and scrapped the Agency, the Overseas’ Scholarship Programme and the Greater Horizon and Opportunities Programme, have no doubt beefed up the manpower base of the Rivers State. Today, it is not to gainsay the fact that Rivers State is better in terms of manpower development than before the Rt. Hon. Amaechi assumed the saddle of leadership as the Governor of Rivers State. Manpower development through specialised or skills training has both short term and long term development effect on both the primary and secondary consumers of the training or education. That is why the Chairman of Tai Local Government Area, Chief Matthew NenuBari Dike, should be commended for cultivating and implementing the vision of establishing Tai Science Secondary School (TSSS) to address the dearth of manpower in the Medical Sciences, Engineering, Agriculture and other critical areas that are necessary for the development of Tai Local Government Area.
According to Chief Dike, who is highly commended by the people of Tai Local Government for his novel initiative of driving specialised education through the Tai Special Science School, an Education Trust Fund and a legislation to guarantee the sustainability of the Special Science School. One feature common with all successful people the world over, is leveraging. Chief Matthew NenuBari Dike is leveraging, on Sir Siminalayi Fubara and Rt. Hon. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi in the areas of human capital development, through the Tai Special Science School. Inducting 104 students who were selected through rigorous screening exercises, for the pilot human capital development scheme, the chairman noted with dismay that in the past several years, no student of Tai Local Government Area had gained admission into university to study medical, health and science, engineering etc, or any of the core science courses.
The consequences of the dearth of manpower in the critical areas in the local government area, are better imagined than experienced. For one thing, it is implication on the Local Government Area is that in the next 10 years, the LGA will inevitably experience a dearth in the human capital, critically necessary for development of the Local Government Area. No doubt, one of the reasons for the teeming unemployed graduates that have saturated the labour market, is the apparent lack of employable skills and academic qualifications. Many graduates of tertiary institutions are unemployable because courses studied have no relevance to the economic and development needs of the society. By establishing the Tai Special Science School, Chief Dike is intentionally addressing the spate of compounded unemployment and miscellany of hydra-headed challenges that have bedevilled youths.
In the next 12 years, graduates of the Tai Special Science School will not only acquire employable skills and knowledge but will be pivotal to the development of the Tai Local Government Area through the acquisition of knowledge and skills in critical fields of study. Since knowledge can be transferred and generated informally, on graduation, the pioneer students will be better placed to affect, influence and mentor other youths. They will also be models for the younger generation.Education remains the bedrock of development and the greatest assets any administration can give to its people, the amount involved notwithstanding. Considering the cost analysis of the programme and projects which involves building of a science based secondary school, with laboratory equipment, provision of science textbooks, funding of the school, overhead cost, and administrative costs, tuition-free and provision of consumables, No doubt the Tai Special Science School is estimated to cost a large chunk of the Local Government’s income.
Chief Dike’s decision to defy the harsh financial implications to drive the human capital development of the Tai Local Government Area through the novel Tai Special Science School , is an eloquent testimony and the testimonial of the care and love he has for the people. Decimus Magnus Ausonius rightly puts it, “the Earth produces nothing worse than an ungrateful man”. I salute Chief Dike for this uncommon capital intensive initiative.

Igbiki Benibo

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Proposed ‘12-4’ Education Policy: How Sustainable?

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Minister of Education, Tunji Alausa, Thursday  February 6, 2025, triggered curiosity among stakeholders of the Education sector in Nigeria as he announced his proposal to phase out Nigeria’s current 6-3-3-4 education system and introduce a compulsory 12-year uninterrupted basic and 4-year  Tertiary education model. Though on Friday February 7, the Federal Government said it was not true that the the 6-3-3-4 system is scrapped, some of the seven-fold “speculated” benefits of the proposed 12-4 system to Nigeria according to Alausa are: Elimination of financial and systemic barriers that often lead to school dropouts;  exposing students to vocational and entrepreneurial skills at an earlier stage, equipping them with practical knowledge and preparing them for both higher education and the workforce; implementing a uniform curriculum nationwide, ensuring consistent educational standards across States;  Enhancing Economic Development  by equipping young people with relevant skills, the reform is expected to reduce child labour and increase employability, contributing to Nigeria’s economic and social development; setting 16 years as the minimum entry age for tertiary education, ensuring students are mentally and emotionally prepared for higher learning.
Considering the benefits the system seems to offer, as outlined by  the Minister of Education, one is tempted to pat the back, of the National Council of Education, the highest policy making body on Education. While the introduction of the new system seems good, if the explanation of the Minister of Education is anything to go by, one would ask what was wrong with the 6-3-3-4 system that evident deficiencies could not be remedied? Policy instability and implementation remain the bane of Nigeria’s educational system. When the Universal Basic Education was introduced to replace the Universal Primary Education, stakeholders in the education sector thought that policy would remedy the clogs and deficiencies associated with the Universal Primary Education. But years after the introduction of the policy, there is no significant improvement in the education sector. Rather, the sector is bedevilled by a miscellany of hydra-headed problems. For instance, the Universal Basic Education midwifed the abolition of First School Leaving Certificate Examination and its certification in most states of Nigeria, even though First School Leaving Certificate is being required by some employers of labour to determine the age of applicants and not as a parameter for job placement and promotion.
The Universal Basic Education system which was a nine-year unbroken academic process lacked the manpower, equipment and facilities to drive implementation of the system. The absence of the necessary requirements for smooth take-off and consequent  holistic achievement of the policy thrust of the Universal Basic Education made the essence of the policy dead on arrival. Another loop in the system was the seeming complexities in the transition to the Senior Secondary School level. The system makes it mandatory for a student who has undergone nine years of basic education to sit for a qualifying examination to the Senior Secondary level into that same School. If the applicant passed the Junior Secondary Schools Examination, their parents were forced to pay admission fees and meet other requirements before they are enrolled. The Universal Basic Education encumbered unnecessarily on parents’ scarce finances while Principals and teachers leverage on the systemic defects to rip off parents or amass so much money for themselves with impunity.
While Nigeria’s Universal Basic Education policy was patterned after developed nations of the world, and said to be “a best practice in the world”, it never worked after all in Nigeria. If it had worked as the then Minister of Education lulled consumers of education to believe, there would not have been need for the proposed new policy christened: 12-4. What works in other nations of the world does not seem to work in Nigeria, why? The reason is not far-fetched: the will to make it work is elusive. The Federal Government does not work the policy through deliberate and intentional  gross under funding of the Education sector against the United Nations’ prescription on the percentage of annual budget nation should allocate to the Education sector. Though the current Minister of Education, Dr. Tunji Alausa has painstakingly given reasons why the National Council of Education considered the 12-4 system a comparatively preferable policy to the 6-3-3-4 system, it may still not attain its envisioned peak in operations because of the twin systemic problem of bare-faced corruption and underfunding of the Education sector.
Alausa also advanced Global competitiveness as an advantage of the 12-4 policy. According to him,  “many developed nations already operate a 12-year basic education system. Aligning Nigeria’s education system with international standards which will enhance the global competitiveness of Nigerian students and improve educational outcomes”. But without being pessimistic, that the 12-4 system is a working model in developed climes  is not a guarantee that it will work in Nigeria. Nigeria is a Third World country, struggling with development, suffocating under the unpleasant euphoria of corruption. The corruption-infested system which seems to allow public funds to be misappropriated, siphoned, outrightly embezzled, by some public servants, sorting, certificate purchase in some tertiary institutions, cannot produce and actualise the quality and best practices of the policy as envisioned by Dr. Alausa.
Nigeria is a rich nation no doubt, with more than 44 mineral resources and abundant human resources, yet her people live in abject poverty. Like the Bible’s Jericho, the “land is pleasant but the water is bitter,” is the experience of Nigeria and Nigeria’s teeming poor. Someone has said, if you bring any of the nations Nigerian politicians travel to on medical or relaxation tourism to run Nigeria, the taps that are dry will flow, the comatose economy will revive, the darkness-ridden homes will be illuminated. Are the benefits of the proposed 12-4 System as outlined mere hype or window dressing?  Would the 12-4 Policy be  better than the 6-3-3-4 System? Only time will reveal.

Igbiki Benibo

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