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Under-Aged Marriage: What Good For Nigerian Youths?

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Under the 1990 Marriage Act, 21 years is the legal age of marriage, but girls and boys may marry before this age with written consent [from a guardian or parent]
However, the Child Rights Act, which was passed in 2003, sets the age of marriage at 18 years-old. However, only 23 of Nigeria’s 36 states have adopted this act. As a result, in some areas of the country the minimum age of marriage can be as low as 12 years-old.
section 29(4) of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria (FRN) defines a minor as anyone below the age of 18 years (implying that only persons 18 years and above can be regarded as adult, ripe for marriage.
Few years back, a lively debate took place using the Hashtag #ChildNotBride on Twitter and an online petition to the United Nations gathered over 20,000 signatures to protest against child marriage.
In all of this, our country has continued to witness children rated as minors, take to themselves, wives and husbands with their parents either giving their full support, or being helpless about the situation.
Just recently, people expressed outrage after photos of an under aged “couple” were shared online. An 11-year -old -boy got married to his girlfriend.
The boy named Julius allegedly got married to a girl named Anthonia on Thursday, December 9, 2021, in Kaduna. A facebook user who lives in Kaduna claimed the wedding held in Jaba, Kaduna State.
Because of the age of the couple, people are calling for the parents of the children to be arrested.
Meanwhile, not long ago, the public was greeted with the news of a 17-year-old boy who a 16 – year-old for wife in Nnewi after the young couple insisted it’s what they wanted.
According to report, the  boy named Somto, from  Nwachukwu family in Okofia village, Otolo Nnewi, Anambra State, allegedly dropped out of school and insisted on getting married.
It was gathered that even though his family were not enthusiastic about it, they had no option than to give their support and have the traditional wedding organized in their favour.
Even though parents of under aged couples may appear to have given their consent to authenticate the union, the question still remains, are they equipped enough to tread the marriage route?  What do they know about marriage?
Someone once said that when couples marry young, they need not rush into things which includes having babies, they take their time before planning kids. It  is also argued that marrying too early in life leaves couples with the advantage of having their babies while age is still on their  marriage side.
On the contrary, have we considered the risk of shouldering responsibility  at a very young age?. Parents whose male children go into marriage at very tender age will attest that it is usually an added responsibility to them up to the level of catering for the child of the marriage as though it is their own child.
Dont forget missing out on the fun of teenage life and being young. A child who takes to marriage early in life automatically turns out to be neither here nor there. Nature seems to force them out of childhood to inexperienced adults.
Education is likely to be stalled as only very few well-to-do homes can continue the education of their children after they are married.
Overall health risks being distorted as early pregnancy can have a negative impact on overall health. It is on record that early marriage, which of course is tantamount to early pregnancy, is  the most common cause of vesico-vaginal fistula, a serious disability that can be experienced by women after childbirth.
With all these side effects in sight, breakdown of marriage is possible.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Children And Basics Of Family

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It is the idea of God that family should exit. Children form part of the family. God loves family so much that Jesus was born into the family of Joseph.
Everyone’s family is good and important. Children should not look down on their family whether they are rich or poor.
Children should respect and honour their family and foster love among their siblings. They should work together and make peace in the family. They should always stand in the gap. It is good for family members to carry all along since everyone may not be doing well.
The Christianity that children learn is practised in family. Faith-based organisations do a great job in moulding children’s character. Those are the behaviours that children exhibit towards siblings in family.
Every child born in a family is there for a purpose. A baby born into a family is supplying something. It may be joy, wealth and so on. Everyone is important in a family.
Adolescents who have graduated from school but may not be contributing financially can do one or two things at home. You can engage in preparing meals at home while parents are away for a job or business. Contributing in house chores will go a long way to relieve parents of stress after a day’s job.
What do you contribute to your family, especially during holidays both in nuclear and extended family?
The family you were born is constant but friends are temporary. You can decide not to continue in friendship but you cannot cut off your family. No matter how bad you think your family is and you decide to leave home, you must surely return. Your friends can harbour you for a while.
The child’s first identity comes from the family. What the child learns first comes from the family.
Family is the centre of love and care. People have started playing down on marriage because of neglect on basics of family. Marriage starts today and and the next few months, it is threatened. Respect for family plays a crucial role in marriage.
No child grows without parental control and influence. If a child refuses to grow without taking instructions from parents, he may grow up being wild. There are consequences when children do not obey their parents. There are those who want to be rebellious against their parents. They should know that their length of days are tied to their parents.
Your bioligical parents know you more than every other person. There is the wisdom and knowledge your parents have that you do not so it is proper to listen to them before choosing carriers both in academics and job. A young man or woman can choose who to get married to, but a greater role in the choice of who to marry and the marriage proper comes from the parents.
They know what is best for you. No matter how modern trends will influence you and prove it wrong, parent is the key. No one can love you more than your parents because they are your blood.
A lot of parents have been traumatised due to the fact that children they nurtured and trained turned their back on them at older age. Children should not abandon their parents for any reason.
As you grow up, situations may arise in marriage when you decide it is over with your spouse, but no matter the level of provocation with your parents, they will not despise you. Parents will also play a role in that regard. Problem arises in every family but how it is handled matters a lot.
Some children honour their mentors more than their parents. Although there are parents who shy away from their responsibilities. It is important that parents take full responsibility of their children. You cannot bring a child to the planet earth and refuse to perform roles as a parent. But parents may not quantify what they spent from childhood to adolescence. That is a blessing children cannot get from another person.
There are people who have attributed their failure in life to the fact that their parents, especially mothers are witchcraft. It is wrong to feel that your mother is instrumental to your failure in life. The only way to success is hardwork.
Let money not determine the level of love for your parents. Wherever a child goes, family is constant.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Who Should Name A Child?

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Naturally, when a child is born, it is the role of the father and mother to decide a suitable name for the child. The husband and wife normally discuss and suggest the English or vernacular name of the baby.
But sometimes, when a baby comes into a family, grandparents hearts are usually filled with joy to the extent that they want to answer present, by giving their own names not minding the fact that the biological parents have given theirs.
This happens mostly when the marriage is an inter-tribal one. It also happens even in intra-tribal marriage. Grandparents want equal representation as far as naming a child is concerned. They also have special names as a result of circumstances surrounding the birth of the child.
This is still happening till date.
A lot of people have viewed this in different ways but there is nothing wrong about it. The most important thing is that the child bears as many names as he or she can. But one thing is certain, the child must bear one name in school.
Should circumstance determine a child’s name?
Women who are more emotional are always eager to name their children considering the circumstances surrounding the child’s conception and arrival.
The issue of grandparents naming a child comes up mostly when it is the first of the family.
In naming children by some parents in the olden days, they named their children according to the days in the week in which they were born, like Sunday, Monday, Friday and so on.
You may be shocked to hear that whether a child is given 10 names by parents or grandparents, when he or she grows up, will decide to change. There are several cases where some persons decided to change especially when they feel that the names given by their parents and grandparents do not give them joy. If they are not doing well in life, they may claim that their misfortune is caused by the name their parents.

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Children’s Performance Can Make Or Mar Them

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Competition among children in schools be it primary, (kindergarten) and secondary come in different forms. It can be Mathematics , debate, quiz, spelling bee,competition, from organisations like Cowbell, multi-national companies, faith-based organisations among others.
They are organised mostly for selected intelligent ones, the best among their peers to represent a class, school or group. Prizes are normally set aside for the best as well as consolation prizes for runners-up at the end of each session.
The question is, are children willing to accept defeat when they fail? As parents, guardians, can you encourage your children or wards to accept defeat instead of shouting and comparing them with others who may be performing better either in schools or outside.
Some parents may be blaming their children for not doing well in competitions. They will like to tell their children if others who may perform better have ten heads. Those group of parents blame their children for every failure.
For your children to do better in competition, the parents too must have emotional intelligence. When you continue to blame your children for failure, how intelligent are you?
Some parents always want their children to be in the 1st position and unhappy whenever they secure 2nd position. There were instances where children smashed their trophies because they never got the position they wanted to get and their parents supported them.
Children should be able to accept it whether they win or not. They should be encouraged for every performance. Discourage the issue of “shame, shame, shame, shame”.
A parent says she always tells her children to win even if they will fail. Always give them the mentality that they can win. Children should be given the impression that they can win prizes and laurels in every competition.
Parents should not isolate their children from others in the neighbourhood. Allow them to play with others. Don’t threaten your children that you may not pay their schools fees if they fail. Comparing them with others may encourage or discourage them.
Coming first or getting award as a first class student from the university sometimes does not mean that the person is the best. And if the child does not merit any award in the lower classes, does not mean that he can not merit first class also.
It should be noted that coming first in academic competition may not really mean that the competitor will be the best at work place or business.
Accepting defeat is a way to move higher. Even if a child who competed with others did not come first, there are consolation prizes for runners-up. When you advise the child to accept defeat, you are encouraging her to win in next competition.
Remember all children cannot be on the same knowledge level Their learning abilities defer.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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