Connect with us

Opinion

 Partial Cremation In Anambra

Published

on

About 400 bereaved families in Onitsha and its environs found themselves in double jeopardy recently, when the mortuary storing the remains of their loved ones was gutted by fire. Their pain knew no bounds when they saw hundreds of charred remains of dead bodies. They wept, not just for the loss of a dear one, but also for the thought of never having an opportunity to give the dead a decent burial.
To get a sense of the scale of this disaster, consider the fact that some corpses were burnt beyond recognition, while others were burnt to ashes. One particular family was scheduled to bury their loved one on that day; but, it was one day too late, because they were unable to distinguish their departed loved one from the mass of burnt dead bodies. I cannot begin to imagine the emotional trauma they underwent on that terrible day. How would they now honour the departed? How do they forgive themselves for, maybe, taking too long before setting a burial date?  There are a plethora of questions to be asked, but answers seem hard to come by.
Some major questions need answering: why was the mortuary the only building to burn in that area? Also, what accounts for the speed of the fire in the mortuary? Is it a valid submission by the proprietor of the mortuary that the embalmment chemical was so inflammable as to fully cremate some of the bodies? Are there safety measures in place in case of any fire outbreak? Are all the embalming chemicals inflamable? Are there alternatives?
Sadly, a similar incident also occurred in Enugwu Ukwu, Anambra State in 2019, in which 50 corpses were incinerated. Governor Willy Obiano termed the disaster a double tragedy and even constituted a panel to unravel the immediate and remote causes of the fire. Unfortunately, to date, nothing has been heard from that panel. Sadly, the rumour that made the rounds, at that time, was that the fire was started by an arsonist to becloud the trafficking of body parts, was neither confirmed nor refuted.
In my musings, I have wondered why there were about 400 corpses in that mortuary. Even if Onitsha is a densely populated economic hub; but this general hospital mortuary is not the only one in the city? A little insight into this uncanny mystery came by way of a comment from the proprietor of the mortuary, stating that some of the corpses were abandoned. Now, how does a family abandon the remains of their loved one, especially, in cases where there are no legal encumbrances?
It is a truism that the greatest gift you can give a dead man is to commit him to mother earth. Evidently, this truth does not apply to Southern Nigeria where periodically hospitals give notice for the mass burial of seemingly abandoned corpses. The predominantly Muslim North scarcely encounters such challenge. Do we then say it is a Christian thing? As a Christian, I know of no scriptural foundation for this behavior. However, the tenets of Islam dictate same-day burial, unless where prevailing circumstances make it impossible.
Evidently, our culture is our undoing, via the economy of burial. Over the years, the cost of burial has gradually become prohibitive in some cultures here in the East of Nigeria. In many clans, men must be buried with a cow; in which case some even mock bereaved families for the size of their cows. For some, burial is competitive. For instance, a lot of people might want to replicate the atmosphere at the burial of Obi Cubana’s mother. Yet, others build a house before they can bury; one may wonder why the same money was not used to build the house while the departed was alive to enjoy.
This culture of long preservation of the departed has resulted in mortuary congestion on many occasions, leading to mass burials in Lagos and other states, as recent as 2020. In fact, to increase capacity in Anambra, someone suggested an underground mortuary as a remedy. However, the best solution is a paradigm shift in the way we think about burial rites. We must remember that we make our cultures, not vice versa. For instance, the use of cows should be made optional instead of compulsory in traditions where this practice is deeply entrenched.
As a people, we do not even mourn anymore; burial ceremonies are now avenues for displaying wealth, rather than a moment to pause and reflect. Because of the pressure of keeping up with society, families go into an inordinate borrowing just to execute the burial of a loved one. In today’s Nigeria, it could cost as much as half a million naira to execute an average burial in the East, especially if the dead is a male, and if you add the cow component.
The problem has a solution, only if the government knows where to look. For instance, the COVID-19 pandemic showed us all that we can bury the dead with much less. But, there are other solutions. State governments could follow after the example of some churches in making policies that prohibit undue length of time for the preservation of the dead. For instance, the Diocese of Niger Delta Anglican Communion, more than fifteen years ago, initiated a 28-day burial policy; stipulating that non-compliance would lead to forfeiture of a member’s benefits. Some others have gone as far as limiting the period to two weeks; indicating that from a policy standpoint, this problem can be solved.
Last week, the story of a 70-year old man simply known as Mr Leo went viral on the internet. According to the story, Leo, having seen the endemic poverty in his community took the initiative to make ready everything needed for his burial: casket, grave, refreshments, and every other item necessary for his obsequies. He further asserted that he never wanted to place a burden on anyone. However, the commentary on Leo’s actions is diverse across social media and on the radio. For some, he was in his right to plan for his burial; for others, his action portends evil – since you cannot leave an open grave in most cultures. But is there a better way to achieve the desires of Leo? Yes.
Funeral bonds are a major avenue in most civilised societies to prepare for one’s departure. They are provided by pension funds and insurance companies primarily, with a diversity of packages, depending on budget size, religion, culture, and taste. Subscribers pay a regular premium depending on the package; and at their demise, the companies take over the execution of their burial ceremonies in conjunction with anyone they have so chosen. By so doing, burdens are lifted off the shoulders of the living; and most of the reasons for delaying burials simply disappear. Can this be replicated in Nigeria? I think so.
There are multitudes of solutions available; the ones yielding results should be expanded and enforced like the COVID-19 protocols. Until we change our ways, either through policy or a culture shift, our mortuaries will remain full; and cremation without funeral rite, the likes we have seen lately in Anambra, would be a recurring decimal.

By: Raphael Pepple

Continue Reading

Opinion

Beyond Physical Intimacy In Relationship 

Published

on

Quote:”Love is not sustained by sharing the same bed or displaying affection in public; it is preserved by the daily investment of trust, understanding, empathy, and meaningful conversations. Two people can be physically close yet emotionally distant, because lasting relationships are built not merely on intimacy, but on the consistent nurturing of hearts that remain genuinely connected.”
In an age where relationships are often measured by appearances, social media posts, and outward displays of affection, many couples are discovering a painful truth: physical closeness does not always translate into emotional connection. Two people can share the same bed, hold hands in public, and even maintain a seemingly happy home, yet remain strangers to each other’s deepest thoughts, fears, dreams, and struggles. This reality is captured in the thought-provoking message that emotional intimacy goes far beyond physical intimacy. While physical attraction may ignite a relationship, emotional connection is what sustains it. When emotional bonds weaken, relationships begin to suffer quietly, often long before any visible signs of trouble emerge.
One of the greatest misconceptions about love is the belief that affection alone is enough to keep a relationship healthy. In reality, genuine love requires much more than romantic gestures and physical presence. It requires understanding, communication, trust, empathy, and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Without these elements, couples may coexist rather than truly connect. Many relationships today are experiencing a silent crisis. Couples are spending more time together physically but less time engaging meaningfully. Busy schedules, work pressures, financial challenges, digital distractions, and personal ambitions have reduced many conversations to routine exchanges about bills, children, responsibilities, and daily survival. The deeper conversations that nurture emotional intimacy are gradually disappearing.
As a result, many partners feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. They may be present in the relationship physically, but emotionally they feel isolated. This emotional distance often creates frustration, resentment, and loneliness. Ironically, a person can feel more alone in a relationship lacking emotional connection than when they are physically alone. The danger of emotional disconnection is that it rarely announces itself loudly. Unlike dramatic conflicts or public scandals, it develops gradually. It starts when couples stop sharing their feelings openly. It grows when assumptions replace communication. It deepens when one partner feels consistently ignored, dismissed, or taken for granted. Over time, the relationship loses its warmth and vitality.This explains why some marriages and relationships that appear perfect from the outside eventually collapse unexpectedly.
 Observers are often shocked because they only saw the physical togetherness, not the emotional distance that had been growing for years beneath the surface. Relationships do not usually break down overnight; they deteriorate through the accumulation of unresolved emotional gaps. Building emotional intimacy, therefore, requires deliberate effort. It is not a one-time achievement but a daily commitment. Emotional connection is built through consistent acts of attention, kindness, and understanding. It develops when partners genuinely listen to each other without judgment. It grows when people feel safe enough to express their fears, disappointments, and aspirations without fear of criticism or rejection. Trust plays a crucial role in this process. Emotional intimacy flourishes in an environment where honesty is valued and confidentiality is respected. When trust is broken, emotional walls quickly rise.
 Rebuilding those walls requires patience, sincerity, and a willingness to heal together. Another important ingredient is empathy. Every individual wants to feel understood. Sometimes partners do not necessarily need solutions to their problems; they simply need someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings. A relationship becomes stronger when both individuals strive to understand each other’s perspectives rather than merely defend their own positions. Quality time is equally important. In a world dominated by smartphones and endless digital distractions, couples must intentionally create moments of genuine interaction. Simple activities such as sharing a meal, taking a walk, discussing personal goals, or praying together can strengthen emotional bonds significantly.
These moments communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” Respect also forms the foundation of emotional closeness. Partners who consistently speak respectfully to each other, even during disagreements, create a healthier environment for intimacy to thrive. Emotional connection cannot flourish where there is constant criticism, ridicule, or contempt. Perhaps the most important lesson is that emotional intimacy is not built by grand gestures alone. It is cultivated through small, consistent actions repeated over time. A thoughtful conversation, a sincere apology, a word of encouragement, or a genuine expression of appreciation can have a profound impact on the health of a relationship. Ultimately, the strength of any relationship lies not merely in physical proximity but in emotional accessibility. The question is not whether two people occupy the same space, but whether they truly know and understand each other.
Lasting love is sustained when hearts remain connected even amid life’s challenges. As society continues to grapple with increasing relationship difficulties, couples must remember that emotional intimacy is not optional; it is essential. Physical attraction may bring people together, but emotional connection keeps them together. It is built daily through communication, trust, empathy, respect, and intentional effort. When emotional intimacy is nurtured, relationships become more resilient, fulfilling, and meaningful. And when two hearts remain genuinely connected, love does not merely survive—it flourishes
By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi
Continue Reading

Opinion

Yahoo Culture And Nigeria’s Moral Fabric

Published

on

Quote “A society that celebrates wealth without questioning its source gradually breeds a generation that despises hard work, glorifies fraud, and ultimately destroys itself from within.”
Nigeria’s battle against insecurity is not limited to terrorism. Another destructive force—popularly known as “Yahoo”—has steadily eaten into the nation’s moral and social fabric. Internet fraud, which has become synonymous with “Yahoo” in local parlance, poses a grave threat to Nigeria’s image, economy, and future. The activities of internet fraudsters have tarnished the country’s reputation globally. As a result, many law-abiding Nigerians abroad or seeking legitimate opportunities overseas often face suspicion and discrimination because of the notoriety created by these criminal elements. Originally, Yahoo was merely the name of an internet search engine created in 1994 by Stanford graduates Jerry Yang and David Filo. In Nigeria, however, the term has evolved into a culture driven by greed and materialism. It has become a disturbing subculture with its own language and values.
Expressions such as “mugu fall, guy man chop” celebrate the exploitation of unsuspecting victims, portraying fraud as intelligence and deceit as success. Yahoo boys are notorious for flaunting their ill-gotten wealth. They parade expensive cars, spend lavishly, and often display arrogance towards elders and society. Their extravagant lifestyle has even been blamed for rising rents and increased cost of living in cities such as Port Harcourt. Following crackdowns in Delta and Edo states, there have been concerns over the growing presence of these elements in Rivers State. What is particularly disturbing is that many of these young men and women, some as young as teenagers, have no legitimate source of income yet live in luxury. Their actions have ruined businesses, impoverished victims, and in some cases pushed people into depression, heart attacks, and suicide.
Yet, they continue to operate openly with frightening confidence. The prevalence of Yahoo culture reflects the deep moral decay in society. Sadly, some families not only tolerate the illicit activities of their children but celebrate and pray for their success. Anyone who condemns the practice often becomes the target of abuse and ridicule. A Port Harcourt-based pastor once experienced fierce backlash from Yahoo sympathisers after speaking against the menace. Nigeria’s permissive environment has unintentionally allowed the practice to flourish. Weak institutions, compromised law enforcement, and families unwilling to question the source of sudden wealth among unemployed youths have all contributed to the problem. The virtues of patience, diligence, and integrity are steadily being replaced by greed and a desperate desire for quick riches.
Perhaps one of the greatest casualties of Yahoo culture is education. The value of years of hard work and academic excellence has been diminished. Many young people now dismiss formal education as a scam, while apprenticeship and vocational training are increasingly looked down upon. The obsession with easy money has encouraged school dropout rates and undermined the culture of honest enterprise. An even more disturbing dimension is the emergence of what many describe as “Yahoo Phase II”—a phenomenon associated with ritual practices and occult beliefs. Although stories surrounding these practices are often difficult to verify, reports of ritual killings, organ harvesting, and other horrific crimes have heightened public fears. Young people seeking wealth at all costs are said to subject themselves to bizarre and inhumane instructions from self-styled spiritualists, resulting in unimaginable tragedies.
Regardless of the myths and realities surrounding these claims, one fact remains undeniable: the pursuit of wealth without values has devastating consequences. Society is increasingly witnessing cases of substance abuse, mental instability, and mysterious deaths among youths whose lives are built on criminality and desperation. Nigeria cannot afford to remain indifferent while a generation is consumed by greed and moral bankruptcy. Combating Yahoo culture requires more than arrests and prosecutions. Families must instill values of honesty and hard work. Religious leaders, educators, and community leaders must consistently promote integrity. Government institutions must strengthen the rule of law and ensure that crime does not pay. Above all, society must stop celebrating wealth without questioning its source. No nation can attain sustainable development when fraud is admired, hard work is ridiculed, and criminality is rewarded.
 The future of Nigeria depends on raising a generation that values character above riches and integrity above material possessions. If this dangerous culture is left unchecked, the consequences will be severe. But if the nation collectively chooses the path of morality, accountability, and industry, there remains hope that the tide can be reversed and the country’s dignity restored.
By;  Confidence Adoo
Continue Reading

Opinion

Good Health Through Socrates’  Prescription 

Published

on

Quote: “In an age of advanced medicine and endless health information, the greatest prescription may still be the oldest one: know yourself. True health begins when we understand our bodies, emotions, habits and choices.”
The 21st century has ushered in extraordinary progress in science, technology and medicine. Diseases that once claimed millions of lives can now be prevented or treated. Information is available instantly, while fitness applications, health trackers and modern healthcare facilities have become part of everyday life. Yet, despite these advances, many people continue to struggle with physical illnesses, emotional stress, anxiety, depression and lifestyle-related diseases. This contradiction raises an important question: Why are people becoming increasingly unhealthy in an age of remarkable medical advancement? Part of the answer may lie in the timeless wisdom associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates: “Know thyself.” Though spoken more than two thousand years ago, these words remain profoundly relevant today. They remind us that genuine wellbeing begins with self-understanding.
Knowing oneself goes beyond knowing one’s name, occupation or social status. It involves understanding one’s body, emotions, habits, strengths, weaknesses and aspirations. It means recognizing how daily choices affect physical, mental and emotional health. In many respects, self-knowledge forms the foundation of healthy living. One of the greatest health challenges today is the tendency to ignore warning signs until serious problems emerge. Many people neglect symptoms such as persistent fatigue, poor sleep, chronic stress, unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity. Because they are disconnected from their bodies, they fail to recognize that their health is gradually deteriorating. A person who truly knows himself pays attention to these signals. Such an individual understands which foods nourish the body and which habits undermine health. They recognize when rest is necessary,
when stress levels become dangerous and when professional medical attention should be sought. Self-awareness encourages preventive action long before illness develops. The same principle applies to mental and emotional health. Modern life is filled with pressures. Social media often encourages unhealthy comparisons, while economic challenges, family responsibilities and workplace demands create enormous psychological burdens. Many people suffer silently because they have not learned to understand or manage their emotions. Knowing oneself means recognizing emotional triggers, vulnerabilities and sources of stress. It involves identifying feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger or frustration before they become overwhelming. Self-aware individuals are more likely to seek support, adopt healthy coping mechanisms and maintain emotional balance.
Self-knowledge also promotes discipline. Many of today’s health problems are linked to lifestyle choices. Excessive consumption of processed foods, alcohol abuse, smoking, substance misuse, physical inactivity and poor sleeping habits contribute significantly to disease burdens around the world. Most people are aware of these risks. The challenge is often not a lack of information but a lack of self-understanding. Individuals who understand their motivations, weaknesses and tendencies are better equipped to resist harmful habits and develop healthier routines. In this way, self-knowledge becomes a powerful tool for self-control. Socrates also taught that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” While philosophical in origin, this statement has practical implications for health. Examining one’s life encourages honest reflection. Are we eating wisely? Are we exercising enough?
Are we sleeping adequately? Are we managing stress effectively? Are we maintaining healthy relationships? These are not merely philosophical questions. They are essential components of a healthy lifestyle. Honest answers can reveal habits that require improvement and inspire positive change. Ironically, while technology has made health information more accessible, it has also made self-understanding more difficult. Many people spend hours following social media trends and public personalities while paying little attention to their own health. They know more about celebrities than they know about their blood pressure, sleep quality or emotional wellbeing. A healthier society will require more than modern hospitals and advanced medications. It will require citizens who actively seek to understand themselves. Preventive healthcare begins with personal awareness.
Parents, educators, religious leaders, healthcare professionals and policymakers all have important roles to play in promoting self-awareness. Young people should be taught not only academic subjects but also emotional intelligence, self-reflection, healthy lifestyle habits and personal responsibility. Ultimately, Socrates’ ancient wisdom remains as relevant today as it was centuries ago. A person who understands himself is more likely to make healthy decisions, maintain emotional stability, build resilience and seek help when necessary. The journey to good health does not begin in a hospital, pharmacy or gymnasium. It begins within. As the world continues to confront complex health challenges, perhaps the most powerful prescription requires no expensive technology or medication. It is the enduring wisdom that has stood the test of time: know yourself. In understanding ourselves, we discover one of the surest paths to healthier, happier and more meaningful lives.
By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi
Continue Reading

Trending