Opinion
Marriage As A Life Commitment
Marriage is a relationship, it is also an eternal concept. It is meant to be a loving, intimate, selfless relationship between a man and a woman that lasts as they both live. The Bible admonishes husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and teaches the young women … to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). Love in marriage can be deeper and more selfless than in any other relationship. It is this type of love that Jesus expects of His followers, and it is the virtue that couples need the most. Marriage involves spiritual, emotional, and physical closeness. In the Old Testament, we are taught, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Married couples are meant to be unified in every possible way. Sexual intimacy is an expression of love that brings happiness and unity into a marriage. It is also the power by which married couples can “multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). Intimacy is also a blessing that can lead to the incomparable joy of children as part of the eternal family unit. Most marriages are founded on love—but it is choosing to maintain and grow that love that poses a challenge. That is where commitment comes in. God considers marriage to be an agreement between a husband and a wife as well as a commitment between the couple and Him. He expects us to dedicate ourselves to the relationship, and to recognise our responsibilities, duties, and loyalties both to our spouse and to God.
The road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrates, it is easy to blame high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There is no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. Until these problems are addressed, no amount of external behaviour modification will work. It takes effort to protect, nurture, and grow a marriage. Between work schedules, children, and other obligations, sometimes it can seem impossible to maintain that partnership. When problems arise, some couples find that it is healthier to divorce and go their separate ways. For others, it is a better choice to work on the relationship. If you want to stay with your partner and avoid divorce, there are proactive measures you can take. Commit to your relationship: toying with the idea that you might be better off outside of your marriage can put a major strain on your relationship—even if you never voice those thoughts.
In fact, the thought alone might cause a major break in your motivation to try to improve your marriage. To combat the risk to your relationship, decide ahead of time that divorce is not an option. Making the commitment will help you focus on making your partnership stronger rather than thinking about what life might be like outside your marriage. Honour and respect your partner: People inevitably change over time. Understanding, appreciating, and adapting to those changes are critical for any relationship. Start by making a list of your partner’s best qualities to remind yourself of the wonderful person you married. This exercise will help you remember why you fell in love with her in the first place. It also helps to vocalise how much you appreciate your partner’s quirks and eccentricities. Let your partners know every day—through compliments or thank-you—that you appreciate all that they do. These little expressions are like deposits in the bank. You do not want to make withdrawals from your marriage without ever making any deposits. So, be sure you are doing things that honour your partner for who he or she is and communicate regularly: In this age of smartphones, netflix, and work-from-home lifestyles, it is easy to get distracted. You might find that you often go days without having a real conversation with your spouse. Communicating openly about your life, interests, dreams, frustrations, and feelings is an important way to foster intimacy in a relationship.
Share financial expectations because many marriages are fraught with disagreements over finances. Couples often bring different expectations about money to a relationship. Each partner can find it difficult to see the financial situation from the other person’s perspective. Coming to an agreement about how your money will be handled is a critical component of a successful marriage. Agree on a budget and approach to debt, and make a plan to live within your limits. It’s also important to differentiate between needs and wants. While both are legitimate, couples can face problems if they try to fulfill all their wants without considering their budget. One of the hardest things to balance in a marriage is the right amount of time to spend together. When your partner needs space or a night out with friends, offer to watch the kids or run the errands to ensure they can get that time. On the other hand, you also want to make time to spend with your partner. If babysitting issues or financial constraints make that difficult, plan a fun, cost-effective date night at home.
Work on wellness: It is easy to get into a routine of being overly casual, especially if you have been with your partner for many years. An easy way to rekindle romance is to think back to those early days of dating—preparing for date night with an at-home manicure, getting a fresh shave and haircut, or choosing a fun outfit. There are plenty of ways to feel attractive and energized. Keeping up with your physical fitness boosts your confidence and sense of well-being. It can also double as a way to spend time with your partner. Have date nights: another way to keep the flame burning in a marriage is to continue courting your spouse. Try to make time for a date night every week—even if it is just to get ice cream or cook a new recipe together. If money is a concern, consider trading babysitting with another couple looking to have a date night. You can also just put the baby in a stroller and take a walk around the mall or go to the park. Continue doing the things you did when you were dating. Many couples report that small, thoughtful gestures help them feel like newlyweds. Try leaving your partner little love notes where they will find them, make them coffee in the morning, or buy their favourite snack at the grocery store. Forgive quickly: Marriages often begin to fall apart when one person is holding a grudge. Research has shown that feeling contempt toward your partner almost always festers and can lead to divorce if it is never resolved. Try to forgive your partner as quickly as possible. Remember that forgiveness is just as much a gift you give yourself. Holding a grudge takes up mental and emotional space and almost always impacts your health and stress levels. Do not try to control your partner. In healthy marriages, both partners have mutual respect for one another and do not demand their own way.
This can mean different things to different couples. Partners who attempt to control one another risk becoming emotionally abusive. They might display signs of financial abuse—which frequently leads to divorce. Find help If you are still having challenges in your marriage or you fear that divorce might be imminent, consider counseling or couples therapy. Navigating issues in a marriage can be challenging. To persevere in the relationship and prevent divorce, both partners need to commit to doing the work and putting in time and effort. While the goal is to save the relationship, you will ultimately have to decide if staying together is the right choice for both of you. If you and your partner need more help, consider working with a marriage counselor or a religious leader if you share the same faith. These individuals can help you get a new perspective and can point you toward additional services if needed.
By: Favour Harry
Harry writes from Port Harcourt.
Opinion
NDDC, A Regional Commission?
The Niger Delta Development Commission was established by the Federal Government of Nigeria to mitigate the effects of oil exploration and exploitation activities on the oil bearing communities or States. It is worthy to clarify that some of the NDDC states are not from South-South geographical zone. NDDC is about oil producing States, irrespective of the geographical location. South – South geographical zone is made up of six states namely; Akwa-Ibom, Bayelsa, Cross River, Delta, Edo and Rivers State. As it is today, there is no regional commission called South-South Commission. Rather, what is well-known, is Niger Delta Development Commission to aid development in the oil-bearing States. NDDC is a distinct interventionist agency of the Federal Government of Nigeria to douse down tension or agitation of the people of Niger Delta region.
Agitation by the bearing community led to the establishment of the Ministry of Niger Delta Affairs, despite being scrapped by the present administration of President Ahmed Bola Tinubu. For instance, Abia State is in South-East region and it is part of NDDC, and it will benefit from South-East Commission established by the present Federal Government of Nigeria, to fast track development of South-East Zone. So, Abia State would benefit from NDDC and South-East Commission. Abia is an oil producing state in Nigeria. In the same position, Imo State is a South-East State and also an oil producing state; which automatically makes it a member of NDDC State. And would benefit from both commissions; and no doubt, because of being an oil producing State and by location, South-East State. Automatically, by virtue of oil activities going on in the two Eastern States, they are members of Niger Delta Development Commission.
In the line of operation, Ondo State is in South-West region and by virtue of being an oil producing State, is a member of NDDC. This no doubt, makes Ondo State a beneficiary of NDDC creation. There is no question to ask why Ondo should be member of NDDC? And Ondo State is a member of South-West Development Commission, because of its geographical location as a State in that region. So, the argument that NDDC is a regional commission is out of place. Thus, NDDC is not only for States in the Niger Delta. Another question is: is there an established commission known as South-South Development Commission, that Rivers State, Akwa Ibom, Edo, Delta, Bayelsa and Cross River should benefit from? The answer is capital No! So NDDC is not a regional commission because it is not only for the six states that make up the South- South. Hence, there is need for the present Federal Government of Nigeria, to urgently address the inequality and disparity created already.
This is because the six geographical zones have zonal commissions. The Federal Government should correct the equation. The misconception that NDDC is regional is not in order and is not correct. As it is today, there is no South-South Commission to help fast track development in the region. The political representatives from the South-South zone, should unite themselves and demand for South-South Development Commission as other zones have theirs. The Federal Government should put modalities in place to establish South-South Development Commission. The status quo should not be allowed to remain as it is now. Thank God, the daily quota of oil production has increased to about 2.5m barrel per day. And that is the reason why South-South should also benefit from the increase of oil activities in Nigeria.
Observationally, every region is bracing up to gain from the oil revenue of the country. And South South Zone which seems to be the hub of oil and gas is lagging behind in terms of purposeful development. NDDC should embark on an aggressive development of the member states. The Federal Government of Nigeria, should correct the negative believe that NDDC is a regional commission. Politicians of the zone should sheathe their swords of discrepancies and work together for the development of the zone. There should be a united front to convince the Federal Government to create or establish South-South Development Commission. Therefore State of the South-South zone in the Niger Delta Development Commission should be made to benefit like their counter parts from South- East and South- West in the NDDC. Thus, NDDC goes beyond regional vision. And that is why the Federal Government should establish South- South Development Commission to balance the equation of regional commission springing up in the country.
Frank Ogwuonuonu
Ogwuonuonu is a free lancer in PortHarcourt.
Opinion
That NANS’ Induction Of Former Tai LG Boss
Last week, precisely Thursday, February 20, 2025, students in Nigeria and the diaspora, under the umbrella of the National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS) inducted the former Chairman of Tai Local Government Council, Chief Matthew NenuBari Dike into its Hall of Fame and gave him a certificate of recognition for what they described as his “outstanding contributions to the development of education and students in Nigeria”. Presenting the award at Saakpenwan, headquarters of Tai Local Government Area, the National Vice President of the National Association of Nigerian Students, Mohammed Sabo, said unequivocally that the induction into the Hall of Fame and conferment of the award on Chief Dike was essentially by merit; a product of his endeavor in building the education sector and human capital in Nigeria.
According to the National Vice President of the National Association of Nigerian Students in Nigeria and the Diaspora, the students body does not have a history of conferring frivolous and financially induced awards on people. Chief Matthew NenuBari Dike is one of fewest local government area chairmen of Nigeria that have been so recognised and honoured by students in Nigeria and the diaspora. This is a welcome development given the fact that Tai Local Government Area has not been one of the local government areas in Nigeria that has attained the social, economic and infrastructural sophistication to come to national limelight because of its rural and seeming obscure nature. However , good works and success like light cannot be suppressed, not even by enemies. Success is contagious, a force and voice that speak louder than arm-chair and callous criticism.
Looking at the antecedents of the awardee and recipient of the Nigerian students goodwill, Chief Matthew NenuBari Dike, it is not saying a new thing that he deserves the honour. Within 100 days in the saddle as chairman of Tai Local Government Area, Chief Dike had made significant achievements in driving the development of the education sector and students in Tai Local Government Area, and of course, Nigeria, a feat that marked him out for honour by the National Association of Nigerian Students. Aside recruiting 250 adhoc teachers to improve teaching and learning in Basic and Senior Secondary Schools in the Local Government Area, the former chairman has also established a Special Science School to develop manpower overtime in critical areas in the Local Government Area having noticed that in the last ten years no student of Tai Local Government Area had gained admission to read, Medicine, Engineering, Medical/Health Sciences and many other science based courses.
Chief Dike’s initiative is therefore to address a felt and critical need of the people. Through a rigorous screening process, 104 students emerged as the first set of students to begin the Special Science School at its take-off facility, Model Primary School 2, Uedume, under Mr. Tete Baridamue Osih as the Director. Speaking during the Inauguration of the School, two weeks ago, the former Chairman of Tai Local Government Area, Chief Dike affirmed his administration’s commitment to deliver a new building for the Special Science School . No doubt, the Chief Dike’s adventures in the Education sector is a novel, and capital intensive project. It is a road less taken; only Local Government Area chairmen who are selfless, sacrificial and committed to human capital development of their people can take up such gigantic project, considering the cost-implications. Establishing a fully-furnished Science School for the Local Government Area requires a modern laboratory, provision of science books, a state-of-art science library and adequate funding.
Recurrent expenditures such as payment of salaries of staff, political appointees, councillors, overhead, and other entitlements of workers combined with ongoing capital projects and empowerment programmes that the chairman of the Local Government Area is embarking on, amidst limited income source, make Chief Dike a celebrity in governance, after the like of his principal, Sir Siminalayi Fubara, the “Rivers First” Governor. Students in Nigeria and the diaspora therefore, were objective, sound in judgement and devoid of primordial sentiment when they adjuged the former chairman of Tai Local Government Area worthy to be inducted into their Hall of Fame and honoured for his contributions. The adage that the “aroma of the Fart determines the substance of the poo” finds expression in the person of Chief Dike whose exploits in the education sector aimed at developing the capacity of students to meet critical needs of the Local Government Area, is a testament that Chief Matthew Dike will do more when given higher responsibility or another term.
John C. Mason, in one of his best sellers, “Leadership Gold”, said every human organisation rises and falls on leadership. A good leader will inevitably midwife development in his sphere of influence. This corresponds with the wise saying of the Biblican King Solomon that ‘when the righteous rules, the people rejoice but when the wicked rules, the people groan”. The socio-economic situation of a people to a great extent shows who a leader really is. The works or activities of a leader in relation to the people speak volumes of leadership stuff. Chief Matthew NenuBari Dike made significant impacts in the education sector and human capital development for a greater development in Tai Local Government Area. He is determined to leave a legacy in the sands of time of that Local Government Areas by raising millionaires through his economic empowerment programme to drive self reliance and reduce the level of abject poverty the people wallow in.
If Chief Dike had to achieve such commendable feat within only 100days of 1,095 days term of office, with availability of funds or sustained financial resources, a stable economy and peace, he had the capacity to achieve ten times what he had done for the people of Tai Local Government Area. While this is the beginning of a long and tortuous journey in governance, it is necessary to join students in Nigeria and the diaspora to commend Chief Dike for his impacts in the critical areas of education, human capital development, economic development, etc. To act contrary is to live out the saying of Decimus Magnus Ausonius that “The earth produces nothing worse than an ungrateful man”.
Igbiki Benibo
Opinion
Dealing With Fake Drugs In Nigeria
Since late Prof. Dora Akunyili’s tenure as the Director General of the National Agency for Food, Drug Administration and Control (NAFDAC), the fight against fake, illegal and expired drugs seemed to be in limbo until the current raid by the agency. For over one-week NAFDAC has been in the news as it has taken the war to the door post of fake, unauthorised, expired medicine dealers across the country. From Ariaria Market, Aba to Bridgehead, Onitsha, Anambra State, to Idumota drug market, Lagos, the stories are the same. Warehouses are being raided, medicine shops are being closed, counterfeit and expired drugs are being destroyed and so on. The current Director General of NAFDAC, Prof Mojisola Adeyeye, must be commended for the reinvigorated effort towards ridding our society of poisons in the name of drugs.
Some of these drugs according to NAFDAC are expired, imported drugs which are repackaged and pushed into the markets. Some of the seized drugs were vaccines stored in dilapidated, unventilated rooms, sealed with iron sheets in highly unsanitary conditions. It is doubtful if there is any adult Nigerian that is not aware of the damage caused to the citizens and the country by fake and substandard drugs. How many times have we or someone we know taken malaria drugs, antibiotics or other medicines for a cure of an ailment and they were ineffective? How many people in the country have died because fake or relabelled expired drugs were administered to them? Experts have posited that fake, adulterated, substandard drugs fuel antimicrobial resistance, as substandard antibiotics fail to properly treat infections, leading to stronger and more resilient bacteria.
The proliferation of these harmful substances is indeed a crisis of national significance. It threatens public health, weakens trust in the healthcare system, and exacerbates Nigeria’s already fragile health sector. Local drug manufacturers who invest millions of Naira to produce genuine, quality drugs for the citizens are denied the fruits of their labour by criminal syndicates who take advantage of regulatory loopholes and weak enforcement to flood the market with dangerous substances, putting millions of lives at risk. So, by all means, they should not be spared. But the question that begs for an answer is, where were the government agencies when these fake and expired drugs entered the country and travelled to the states? Why were they not intercepted at the point of entry either via the ports or the land borders and the importers arrested and prosecuted?
According to Adeyeye, most of these poisonous drugs are brought into the country through the ports and the porous borders. Is there nothing that can be done to beef up security and checks against illegal drugs at the borders? Or is it a case of the personnel at the borders looking the other way when they must have been settled thereby allowing unhindered entry of fake and unauthorised products into the country? It is also worrisome why we have allowed drugs to be sold in the open markets in the country. For many years, the federal government has been coming up with policies to address the uncontrolled and undefined buying and selling of medicine with or without approval, all to no avail. Open drug markets continue to thrive, leading to abuse and counterfeiting.
A former National Chairman of the Association of Community Pharmacists, Mr Samuel Adekola, in a recent interview bared his mind on the issue of open drug market. He said, “We know that open drug markets are not the best for Nigeria because of how the drugs are sourced. The government has been coming up with policies to address it, but you know that nature abhors vacuum, so once there is no alternative, these markets crop up because people must use drugs. Policies of the government must support alternatives which will make the drug distribution process/system in Nigeria a regulated and sanitised one. The whole essence of this is to save society from fake and adulterated drugs because the burden of fake drugs on citizen’s health and the economy is huge. Today, 70 percent of deaths in the hospitals arise from drug misuse or fake drugs.”
Early in the week, the NAFDAC DG during a television interview announced that the Kano Coordinated Wholesale Centre for drug marketers has taken off and that that of Lagos, Aba, Onitsha and other places are in the pipeline. Hastened efforts in actualising this will go a long way in checking the menace of fake drugs. Also, in addition to Adeyeye’s request for more funding and more staff for the agency to help in manning the borders and prevent the infiltration of poisonous drugs into the country, there is the need for technology-driven solutions to the challenge. The adoption of digital tools, such as mobile verification codes on drug packaging, can help consumers verify the authenticity of their medications. Blockchain technology can also be explored to track and trace pharmaceutical products from manufacturers to end-users.
NAFDAC and other regulatory bodies should be empowered with adequate resources to crack down on counterfeiters. Policies that improve oversight, enhance drug registration processes, and promote stricter penalties for offenders are essential. The nation’s drug distribution policy which stipulates penalties for defaulters must be implemented. While Adeyeye’s proposed death penalty for fake drug peddlers may be too harsh, many years imprisonment without an option of fine will not be out of place. While commenting on the recent raids, the National Chairman of the Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria – Young Pharmacists Group, Tekena George showered some encomium on the NAFDAC DG, saying that beyond enforcement, her transformational policies promote local production of high-quality medicines in Nigeria, noting that by encouraging domestic manufacturing, she is not only reducing the country’s reliance on imported drugs but also strengthening the nation’s medicine security and economic resilience.
Indeed, over-reliance on imported drugs increases vulnerability to counterfeit products. Both federal and state governments should therefore encourage domestic pharmaceutical production, backed by strong quality control measures. This will ensure a safer drug supply chain. Nigeria should work closely with international agencies such as INTERPOL and the World Health Organisation (WHO) to dismantle transnational drug counterfeiting networks. Sharing intelligence and coordinating enforcement efforts will help disrupt the supply chain of fake drugs. Awareness campaigns are inevitable in dealing with the menace of fake drugs in our society. Many Nigerians remain unaware of the dangers of fake drugs. Government agencies, civil society groups, and healthcare professionals must therefore collaborate to educate the public on how to identify counterfeit drugs and report suspicious products.
Most importantly, the National Orientation Agency, religious and traditional leaders, parents, schools and other organisations must join hands in changing the “get rich at all cost” mentality of some Nigerians. As some people say, corruption, greed and selfishness are the root of all the problems in Nigeria. And unless these vices are dealt with all efforts at stemming fake drug distribution and other menace in the country will bear no positive result.
Calista Ezeaku
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