Opinion
Same Action Different Meanings
Charles Francis Adams, a 19th century politician and diplomat once kept a diary. One day, he dropped some lines that read thus, “went fishing with my son today, a day wasted”.His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary of the activity of that same day which reads, “went fishing with my dad – the most wonderful day of my life.” This is absolutely a case where two actors had different interpretations of the same scene. While Charles Francis Adams thought his fishing expedition with his son was a time in futility, the child considered it an investment of time. Many parents want their children to end well, but are not ready to invest their time in the grooming of these young ones. This is why they describe the time spent with them as wasted, hence the expression, “time is money”.One way to differentiate between waste and investment is to define one’s ultimate purpose in life and then, judge accordingly the activities towards such purpose.
While the former remains the crown of the latter, their glory is made evident in the latter. Therefore, children by their nature, look up to their parents for guidance and leadership. Thus, the time we invest in them is never wasted as they grow up to become useful to themselves and others.The usual sundry words of wisdom succinctly emphasise the importance of children to the fathers and vice versa.In a clime like ours, where the child leaves the home very early for school and never returns until late, parents seem to make a justifiable ground to shift parental responsibilities to teachers and care givers at school. They argue that it is the teachers’ role to groom the child; after all, they are paid for it. This is why parents can wholesomely blame the school for their children’s and wards’ inadequacies. One of the international children’s day was celebrated with the theme, “Better future for the children”. It was a reminder of the theme of the 2017 Children’s Day celebration in Nigeria which bordered on providing an enabling environment for the child to grow and fully develop his potentials in life.
It may be sobering but true, that what determines the success of children in school and in life are the training and values inculcated in them by their parents, which is why parents must as a matter of necessity, influence their children positively. Making out time for this noble task usually involves sacrifices and tough choices, but it is worth it.
If quality time spent together with a child has a way of yeilding tremendous dividends for the youths who will certainly grow up to become tomorrow’s leaders, then, conscious efforts must be made towards impacting positively on their total psyche for effectual positive change on tomorrow’s leadership. Spend time with your child regularly based on structured activities and event.This is so because all-round and qualitative education with emphasis on academic and moral excellence, as well as cultivating sound leadership skills will definitely produce critical-thinking children capable of positively and profoundly impacting the larger society.
In a world where truth and moral values are increasingly snubbed, parents must stand their grounds in helping their children and wards discover their purpose as well as moral direction in life. As the society becomes more complex, efforts must be intensified towards giving the child the needed attention he deserves to guarantee a sound future and hope for the nation. The concern for the moral, educational and total development of the child should be the catalyst that would spur every parent to do the needful.To say that what a child turns out in life depends on the parental packaging of the child, which invariably is a function of the family in which the child was groomed, may not be anything short of the truth.The writer’s view in this direction stems from the finding that a parenting style could predict the wellbeing of a child in the domains of academic performance, social competence, psychological development and problem behaviou.
This vantage position of the family, predisposes it to a miniature citadel of learning as there seems to exist a good deal of informal teaching and the child learns by example. Take away the family, the basic ingredients of living will be omitted and a weak, confused and disoriented individual is created.Come to think of it, the family in question is not the literary roof across the height of a concrete or mud wall where members take shelter against the rains or the sun, neither is it that architectural construction that hides members from external aggression or provides comfort for living. It is a place of intimacy and warmth where one can feel the beauty of relationships. It is a place with which one’s memories are associated – from childhood to last days of life. These are relationships, love, affection, and devotedness that turn any brick-made apartment into a beautiful place called home.
If therefore, the family could apply itself to such great service as this, then the possibility of contributing to the capitalistic goal of the improvement and promotion of the child is feasible. As little as the family poses, it has the capacity to usher in a more sustainable future, achieve the millennium development goals, shape a new development agenda and also combat climate change.Early socialisation, education, affection, stability, guidance and setting of rules to follow, with emphasis on cheerfulness, affection and trust are visible tools with which the family patterns the society to a desired direction.The decline in family recreational activities, irrespective of their contributions to family health development, explains it all. But where will this attitude of non-attachment to the crown of the family take us to? .As a small unit, made up of individuals who are related to one another, sharing reciprocal affections and loyalties and consisting of a household that persists over years, the family is the most primary unit of every society, suffice it to say that the success or failure of every society is determined by the manipulation of the family under which tutelage the leaders of the society were made.
Parenting no doubt is a very challenging obligation, from the task of child rearing, which is energy and pulse sapping, to the satisfaction of endless children’s needs (comfort, attention, the best of everything money can buy) Scott Forbes describes parents as primary care givers. However, because of severe economic hardship, parents are tempted and forced by circumstances of life to relegate their positions of primary care giving to Montessori schools, nannies or house helps leading to less bonding between parents and children. The effect of this gap is hostilities and antagonism .In a heterogeneous society as ours, the bond we share in our families can have a far-reaching and overwhelming influence in unifying a diversified whole called Nigeria.
By: Igbiki Benibo
Opinion
Wike VS Soldier’s Altercation: Matters Arising
The events that unfolded in Abuja on Tuesday November 11, 2025 between the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike and a detachment of soldiers guarding a disputed property, led by Adams Yerima, a commissioned Naval Officer, may go down as one of the defining images of Nigeria’s democratic contradictions. It was not merely a quarrel over land. It was a confrontation between civil authority and the military legacy that still hovers over our national life.
Nyesom Wike, fiery and fearless as always, was seen on video exchanging words with a uniformed officer who refused to grant him passage to inspect a parcel of land alleged to have been illegally acquired. The minister’s voice rose, his temper flared, and the soldier, too, stood his ground, insisting on his own authority. Around them, aides, security men, and bystanders watched, stunned, as two embodiments of the Nigerian state clashed in the open.
The images spread fast, igniting debates across drawing rooms, beer parlours, and social media platforms. Some hailed Wike for standing up to military arrogance; others scolded him for perceived disrespect to the armed forces. Yet beneath the noise lies a deeper question about what sort of society we are building and whether power in Nigeria truly understands the limits of its own reach.
It is tragic that, more than two decades into civil rule, the relationship between the civilian arm of government and the military remains fragile and poorly understood. The presence of soldiers in a land dispute between private individuals and the city administration is, by all civic standards, an aberration. It recalls a dark era when might was right, and uniforms conferred immunity against accountability.
Wike’s anger, even if fiery, was rooted in a legitimate concern: that no individual, however connected or retired, should deploy the military to protect personal interests. That sentiment echoes the fundamental democratic creed that the law is supreme, not personalities. If his passion overshot decorum, it was perhaps a reflection of a nation weary of impunity.
On the other hand, the soldier in question is a symbol of another truth: that discipline, respect for order, and duty to hierarchy are ingrained in our armed forces. He may have been caught between conflicting instructions one from his superiors, another from a civilian minister exercising his lawful authority. The confusion points not to personal failure but to institutional dysfunction.
It is, therefore, simplistic to turn the incident into a morality play of good versus evil.
*********”**** What happened was an institutional embarrassment. Both men represented facets of the same failing system a polity still learning how to reconcile authority with civility, law with loyalty, and service with restraint.
In fairness, Wike has shown himself as a man of uncommon courage. Whether in Rivers State or at the FCTA, he does not shy away from confrontation. Yet courage without composure often feeds misunderstanding. A public officer must always be the cooler head, even when provoked, because the power of example outweighs the satisfaction of winning an argument.
Conversely, soldiers, too, must be reminded that their uniforms do not place them above civilian oversight. The military exists to defend the nation, not to enforce property claims or intimidate lawful authorities. Their participation in purely civil matters corrodes the image of the institution and erodes public trust.
One cannot overlook the irony: in a country where kidnappers roam highways and bandits sack villages, armed men are posted to guard contested land in the capital. It reflects misplaced priorities and distorted values. The Nigerian soldier, trained to defend sovereignty, should not be drawn into private or bureaucratic tussles.
Sycophancy remains the greatest ailment of our political culture. Many of those who now cheer one side or the other do so not out of conviction but out of convenience. Tomorrow they will switch allegiance. True patriotism lies not in defending personalities but in defending principles. A people enslaved by flattery cannot nurture a culture of justice.
The Nigerian elite must learn to submit to the same laws that govern the poor. When big men fence off public land and use connections to shield their interests, they mock the very constitution they swore to uphold. The FCT, as the mirror of national order, must not become a jungle where only the powerful can build.
The lesson for Wike himself is also clear: power is best exercised with calmness. The weight of his office demands more than bravery; it demands statesmanship. To lead is not merely to command, but to persuade — even those who resist your authority.
Equally, the lesson for the armed forces is that professionalism shines brightest in restraint. Obedience to illegal orders is not loyalty; it is complicity. The soldier who stands on the side of justice protects both his honour and the dignity of his uniform.
The Presidency, too, must see this episode as a wake-up call to clarify institutional boundaries. If soldiers can be drawn into civil enforcement without authorization, then our democracy remains at risk of subtle militarization. The constitution must speak louder than confusion.
The Nigerian public deserves better than spectacles of ego. We crave leaders who rise above emotion and officers who respect civilian supremacy. Our children must not inherit a nation where authority means shouting matches and intimidation in public glare.
Every democracy matures through such tests. What matters is whether we learn the right lessons. The British once had generals who defied parliament; the Americans once fought over states’ rights; Nigeria, too, must pass through her own growing pains but with humility, not hubris.
If the confrontation has stirred discomfort, then perhaps it has done the nation some good. It forces a conversation long overdue: Who truly owns the state — the citizen or the powerful? Can we build a Nigeria where institutions, not individuals, define our destiny?
As the dust settles, both the FCTA and the military hierarchy must conduct impartial investigations. The truth must be established — not to shame anyone, but to restore order. Where laws were broken, consequences must follow. Where misunderstandings occurred, apologies must be offered.
Let the rule of law triumph over the rule of impulse. Let civility triumph over confrontation. Let governance return to the path of dialogue and procedure.
Nigeria cannot continue to oscillate between civilian bravado and military arrogance. Both impulses spring from the same insecurity — the fear of losing control. True leadership lies in the ability to trust institutions to do their work without coercion.
Those who witnessed the clash saw a drama of two gladiators. One in starched khaki, one in well-cut suit. Both proud, both unyielding. But a nation cannot be built on stubbornness; it must be built on understanding. Power, when it meets power, should produce order, not chaos.
We must resist the temptation to glorify temper. Governance is not warfare; it is stewardship. The citizen watches, the world observes, and history records. How we handle moments like this will define our collective maturity.
The confrontation may have ended without violence, but it left deep questions in the national conscience. When men of authority quarrel in the open, institutions tremble. The people, once again, become spectators in a theatre of misplaced pride.
It is time for all who hold office — civilian or military — to remember that they serve under the same flag. That flag is neither khaki nor political colour; it is green-white-green, and it demands humility.
No victor, no vanquish only a lesson for a nation still learning to govern itself with dignity.
By; King Onunwor
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