Marriage is a fabric of the society. In Christendom, marriage is designed for two people. Marriage as seen these days is almost on attack. It is common to see that couples go into marriage and in not less than six months, that marriage is threatened. Little issues that should not cause problems arise. All hands must be on deck to ensure that couples keep to marital vows. Sometimes you may be surprised to hear what causes the problems. The most annoying thing is that couples do not say the truth when issues are made public.
Different people have different opinions when conflicts occur in marriage. Some ague that women should be the custodian of love in marriage. There are women who cannot exercise patience in things that concern husband and wife. When they are undergoing challenges, they are asked to remain, especially those who have children. There are those who may not continue in marriage even when they have ten kids in a home. The number of children a woman has may not stop her from ending a marriage.
A believer’s trust in God will make her succeed in marriage. There is a relationship between marriage and the scripture. In marriage, you don’t allow your partner to work alone. It is for companionship before children start arriving.
Ask yourself if your companionship in marriage is what it should be. It is a journey for husband and wife. There should be words of encouragement when things are not normal.
Before going into marriage, develop the capacity to cope. It is not that you may not have other friends, but your partner needs your cooperation and understanding to make it work. Be a good partner and ensure a balance between the two of you.
Women should avoid selfish motives in marriage. It is a fact that marriage challenges are so much, but women should do things without expecting credit. One can ask: “What will I gain from marriage”. Of course the benefits are enormous. If marriage does not work for one, it does not mean that it will not work for another. Things concerning marriage are seen in different perspective by different people.
There must be good communication between a husband and wife, effective communication indeed. Communication is learned and it is effective when your meaning equates that of your spouse. Communication is a skill. Couples must learn how to communicate, not by shouting when communicating. Couples must learn how to communicate, not by shouting when communicating. Communication enforces bonding. Communication is a life wire in marriage. The bond of marriage should be strengthened so that marriages can last longer.
Words are powerful. Words are spirit in the life of your spouse. Listening strengthens marriage. Actions must align with what you say, when and how you say it. The way you say it must be understood.
A woman should put herself in the shoe of her spouse. Showing empathy to your spouse will go a long way in strengthening your marriage.
When you talk about love in marriage, there are many skills.
Listening takes patience. It is a skill that needs patience. It is good to listen for several hours for your spouse to empty his heart.
In marriage, offence will definitely come especially when the marriage is new. There must be differences because people are coming from different backgrounds. Limited understanding can cause conflicts in marriage so giving way to one person can help in marriage. No offence should remain permanent. You can overcome challenges and don’t let conflict tear your marriage apart.
Experts in marital affairs have come with tools that can make marriage work. Such tools are shared resources.
A woman should not shut her spouse down.
For women to be steadfast in marriage, there is a lot to do. Creating a community where you share wisdom is necessary. A healthy community indeed. No matter how smart a woman may be, there are things she may be ignorant of.
Most importantly, it is wrong for a woman to discipline a child in her care by putting pepper or painful substances into a child’s private part. Some women also have the habit of tearing a girl’s dress in the public due to one provocation or the other.
Community activity is important to a woman to excel in marriage. Bathing together by couples will strengthen their marriage. Although some wives may not like it. It may shock you to know that some couples bathed together only when they got married newly. A woman was interviewed when she encountered problem in marriage. A counsellor asked when she had a bath last with her husband, she replied that it was only when they got married. After about twenty fifteen years they had not.
Marriage requires much to keep it moving from one level to another. Other activities involve commitment, hard work, diligence just to mention but a few. Attending professional marital seminars can help solve some problems. It is good to locate community, positive ones where couples learn and share ideas, express their problems and challenges and seek solutions and remedies.
Norms, experience, value and others are the factors responsible for marital sweetness and uniqueness.
Marriage is like a template. What you log in is what you get. No two marriages are the same and there is no comparison in marriage. The principles in marriage work provided you apply them well. The principles must be backed up with examples.
The principles of friendship in marriage work depending on how you apply them. An application that worked in your marriage may not work in another’s marriage. It is wrong to copy what may not work for you.
The principles also work with time. Creating quality time together can help make a unique marriage.
Years ago, only man worked to fend for the family while the woman stayed at home to nurture children and do other house chores. Nowadays, the woman too works or engages in other businesses as the man may not be able to handle upkeeps alone. You discover that their schedules are very tight that they don’t have quality time for themselves. Some persons are addicted to their devices that they may not have enough time for their spouses.
For marriage to be sweet, partners must create quality time for themselves. Family time should be created to include the children. As couples continue to be engaged in jobs and day to day businesses, they must create time. For you to have a unique marriage, a neutral time should be created for couples to interact. There are women who feel that quality time with their spouses depend on the expenditure involved. They prefer a situation where their spouses take them outside home for relaxation.
Culture is another problem affecting uniqueness of marriage. There are men who prefer to spend time with friends and kinsmen instead of spending such time with their wives.
They see the woman as one whose time should be spent only in the kitchen. In some people’s culture, women can never stay where men gather and discuss.
For women to build marital sweetness, building resilience in relationship is key as well as romantic adventure. Women need to build very strong resilience to be in marriage. Resilience is the capacity to withstand challenges and unforeseen circumstances.
Many marriages are doing well on their own but challenges like sickness, poverty, lack of children (infertility), infidelity, etc, go a long way to destroy them.
A lot of relationships standing today have undergone many problems for marital sweetness to be achieved. It is a not a bed of roses.
Marriages nowadays have chances of disintegrating but some couples are able to make up. Resilience builds strong marriage. Standard of living, family upkeep, intimacy, finance to buy things in the home affect marriage.
Marriage undergoes phases. There are times when couples abuse themselves but being a resilient partner can help your marriage survive. Consistently make up your mind that your marriage will succeed.
As a woman, getting pregnant and taking delivery of a baby at the ninth month, nursing and nurturing such baby takes a lot of challenges, so also is marriage.
If you can determine that your business must grow with resilience then your marriage can also work.
Little talks from wives normally make their spouses take some decisions in marital affairs. Let’s assume your spouse returns late from work or business with a troubled mind, you should be able to encourage him or her.
Gratitude to partners and appreciating each other’s efforts in little things at home help in building marital sweetness.
Building problem solving skills help you maintain resilience in marriage.
Identify what the problem is. Don’t deal with the symptoms. Take series of questions. For you to be resilient, you must know how to solve problems. If you are not a good problems-solver, you may be creating a problem. Be patient because all problems cannot be solved in a day.
A woman may take a break without violence and as you leave the house, you don’t bang the door.
Being a problem solver, you should be able to manage your mental health. Mental stability is very important.
Discretion is important in building resilience. You consider who is qualified and who is not qualified. Having mentors in marriage is good especially those who have been in marriage for many years.
Avoid being an unteachable spouse. A woman should learn from experts in marital seminars and workshop.
Your marriage like a house should be built in such a way that when flood comes, it is not washed away.

Wife of the Rivers State Governor, Lady Valerie Siminalayi Fubara, has been conferred with the “Woman of the Year Wise Women Award 2024”.

The award conferred by the Executive of Wisdom for Women International, was in recognition of Lady Fubara’s work in building the lives of women and families in Rivers State and beyond.

Speaking after receiving the award at the Golden Tulip Hotel, Port Harcourt on Sunday evening, Lady Fubara, expressed gratitude to the Wisdom for Women International for counting her worthy for the award.

Lady Fubara, who was represented by the former Rivers State Commissioner for Culture and Tourism, Mrs Tonye Briggs-Oniyide, noted the deliberate efforts and sacrifices the wife of the Governor has made to grow the community and put food on the table for women of Rivers State as a passionate helper.

She said: “Quite frankly, she never saw this coming, not because Her Excellency has not been making sacrifices to grow the community and put food on the table for women of Rivers State, but because she is a passionate healer.

“Her Excellency, Lady Valerie Siminalayi Fubara appreciates this honour and it is a sign of many more opportunities that will open. She is, indeed, always available to help.”

She commended the Wisdom for Women International for their charitable works geared towards making Christian families have a sense of belonging, emphasising that their activities are a demonstration of their generous, focused and deliberate service to God over the years.

She further said, “Her Excellency has also asked me to appreciate you, the organisers of the Wise Women Awards for your charitable works and for making Christian families have hope through your numerous programmes.”

According to her, “It is a proof that you have been very generous, focused and deliberate in the service of God these nine years. Only God can reward you.”

The wife of the Governor asserted that it is against this backdrop that she has thrown her weight behind the Renewed Hope Initiative (RHI), the pet project of the wife of the President, Senator Oluremi Tinubu, cognizance of the impact it gives society, particularly women.

“Coincidentally, it is also for this reason that she has given her full support to the Renewed Hope Initiative, the pet programme of the First Lady of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Senator Oluremi Tinubu, because of the value the Renewed Hope Initiative brings to the community, especially women”, she noted.

In her remarks, the Founder, Wise Women Awards, Apostle Marjorie Esomowei, said the award, which is the 9th in the series in Nigeria, seeks to highlight and recognize the contributions of women from Nigeria’s Christian community, which they have made within the church and wider society.

Apostle Esomowei noted that the awardees were chosen by the Executive Team and Judges after careful evaluation of their credibility and services in society.

In his remarks, the Founder and Presiding Bishop of Logos Ministries Worldwide, Dr. Yomi Isijola, who observed that women are vulnerable and ready tools for the devil, thanked the Wisdom for Women International for doing a great job by searching out women who have used their positions to impact society.

Also speaking, the President, Truevine Women International Outreach and past recipient of the Wise Women Award, Pastor Ene Secondus, who observed that it is good to give a pat on the back of those who have worked to impact society as a mark of appreciation, lauded the Founder of the Wise Women Award for recognizing the awardees, which according to her, will spur others to work harder and contribute to the growth of the society.

The wife of the Rivers State Governor, Lady Valerie Fubara, has reiterated the commitment of the State Government towards exclusive breastfeeding of infants in the state.

She, therefore, called on husbands community leaders and other organisations to give support to nursing mothers in the task of ensuring exclusive breastfeeding of babies and the infants.

Mrs Fubara stated this in Port Harcourt while flagging off the 2024 World Breastfeeding Week And World Breastfeeding Record Attempt.

The theme for the Week was ‘Closing The Gap, Break The Record, Break Barriers: Breastfeeding Support For All”.

The Rivers First Lady said fostering exclusive breastfeeding can make a difference in the health of community populace.

Mrs Fubara who was represented by the Rivers State Commissioner for Health, Dr Adaeze Oreh, listed other benefits of exclusive breastfeeding to include boosting mother’s immune system, protecting the health of mothers, infants and young children from unnecessary attack from diseases and delay in a new pregnancy.

Describing the theme of the week as apt, she said the theme was a reminder that nursing mothers deserve the support of not just their husbands but other members of the society.

The guest speaker, Professor Alice Nte, said it was high time the Nigerian society broke the cultural barriers as far as exclusive breastfeeding is concerned.

While blaming high infant mortalities in the past on lack of exclusive breastfeeding, Nte called on mothers to prioritize exclusive breastfeeding especially in the first six months after delivery.

She also called on policy makers to provide conducive environments especially in health institutions for breastfeeding mothers while also urging nursing mothers to carry their babies to where ever they are going.

On his part, Executive Secretary, Rivers State Primary Health Care Management Board, Prof Kinikanwo Green, said the event would be replicated in all health centres across the State.

Green congratulated the State Government for the successful flag off of the programme, describing breastfeeding as a most important interventions in the prevention of under five malnutrition and morbidity as well as enhancing the economies of families

He said in closing the gap, the State is ready to breach all diversities as far as exclusive breastfeeding is concerned.

The Tide reports that the event was attended by thousands of nursing mothers across the State.

By:  Sogbeba Dokubo & John Bibor