Women
How Women Can Manage Issues In Marriage
Marriage is a fabric of the society. In Christendom, marriage is designed for two people. Marriage as seen these days is almost on attack. It is common to see that couples go into marriage and in not less than six months, that marriage is threatened. Little issues that should not cause problems arise. All hands must be on deck to ensure that couples keep to marital vows. Sometimes you may be surprised to hear what causes the problems. The most annoying thing is that couples do not say the truth when issues are made public.
Different people have different opinions when conflicts occur in marriage. Some ague that women should be the custodian of love in marriage. There are women who cannot exercise patience in things that concern husband and wife. When they are undergoing challenges, they are asked to remain, especially those who have children. There are those who may not continue in marriage even when they have ten kids in a home. The number of children a woman has may not stop her from ending a marriage.
A believer’s trust in God will make her succeed in marriage. There is a relationship between marriage and the scripture. In marriage, you don’t allow your partner to work alone. It is for companionship before children start arriving.
Ask yourself if your companionship in marriage is what it should be. It is a journey for husband and wife. There should be words of encouragement when things are not normal.
Before going into marriage, develop the capacity to cope. It is not that you may not have other friends, but your partner needs your cooperation and understanding to make it work. Be a good partner and ensure a balance between the two of you.
Women should avoid selfish motives in marriage. It is a fact that marriage challenges are so much, but women should do things without expecting credit. One can ask: “What will I gain from marriage”. Of course the benefits are enormous. If marriage does not work for one, it does not mean that it will not work for another. Things concerning marriage are seen in different perspective by different people.
There must be good communication between a husband and wife, effective communication indeed. Communication is learned and it is effective when your meaning equates that of your spouse. Communication is a skill. Couples must learn how to communicate, not by shouting when communicating. Couples must learn how to communicate, not by shouting when communicating. Communication enforces bonding. Communication is a life wire in marriage. The bond of marriage should be strengthened so that marriages can last longer.
Words are powerful. Words are spirit in the life of your spouse. Listening strengthens marriage. Actions must align with what you say, when and how you say it. The way you say it must be understood.
A woman should put herself in the shoe of her spouse. Showing empathy to your spouse will go a long way in strengthening your marriage.
When you talk about love in marriage, there are many skills.
Listening takes patience. It is a skill that needs patience. It is good to listen for several hours for your spouse to empty his heart.
In marriage, offence will definitely come especially when the marriage is new. There must be differences because people are coming from different backgrounds. Limited understanding can cause conflicts in marriage so giving way to one person can help in marriage. No offence should remain permanent. You can overcome challenges and don’t let conflict tear your marriage apart.
Experts in marital affairs have come with tools that can make marriage work. Such tools are shared resources.
A woman should not shut her spouse down.
For women to be steadfast in marriage, there is a lot to do. Creating a community where you share wisdom is necessary. A healthy community indeed. No matter how smart a woman may be, there are things she may be ignorant of.
Most importantly, it is wrong for a woman to discipline a child in her care by putting pepper or painful substances into a child’s private part. Some women also have the habit of tearing a girl’s dress in the public due to one provocation or the other.
Community activity is important to a woman to excel in marriage. Bathing together by couples will strengthen their marriage. Although some wives may not like it. It may shock you to know that some couples bathed together only when they got married newly. A woman was interviewed when she encountered problem in marriage. A counsellor asked when she had a bath last with her husband, she replied that it was only when they got married. After about twenty fifteen years they had not.
Marriage requires much to keep it moving from one level to another. Other activities involve commitment, hard work, diligence just to mention but a few. Attending professional marital seminars can help solve some problems. It is good to locate community, positive ones where couples learn and share ideas, express their problems and challenges and seek solutions and remedies.
Norms, experience, value and others are the factors responsible for marital sweetness and uniqueness.
Marriage is like a template. What you log in is what you get. No two marriages are the same and there is no comparison in marriage. The principles in marriage work provided you apply them well. The principles must be backed up with examples.
The principles of friendship in marriage work depending on how you apply them. An application that worked in your marriage may not work in another’s marriage. It is wrong to copy what may not work for you.
The principles also work with time. Creating quality time together can help make a unique marriage.
Years ago, only man worked to fend for the family while the woman stayed at home to nurture children and do other house chores. Nowadays, the woman too works or engages in other businesses as the man may not be able to handle upkeeps alone. You discover that their schedules are very tight that they don’t have quality time for themselves. Some persons are addicted to their devices that they may not have enough time for their spouses.
For marriage to be sweet, partners must create quality time for themselves. Family time should be created to include the children. As couples continue to be engaged in jobs and day to day businesses, they must create time. For you to have a unique marriage, a neutral time should be created for couples to interact. There are women who feel that quality time with their spouses depend on the expenditure involved. They prefer a situation where their spouses take them outside home for relaxation.
Culture is another problem affecting uniqueness of marriage. There are men who prefer to spend time with friends and kinsmen instead of spending such time with their wives.
They see the woman as one whose time should be spent only in the kitchen. In some people’s culture, women can never stay where men gather and discuss.
For women to build marital sweetness, building resilience in relationship is key as well as romantic adventure. Women need to build very strong resilience to be in marriage. Resilience is the capacity to withstand challenges and unforeseen circumstances.
Many marriages are doing well on their own but challenges like sickness, poverty, lack of children (infertility), infidelity, etc, go a long way to destroy them.
A lot of relationships standing today have undergone many problems for marital sweetness to be achieved. It is a not a bed of roses.
Marriages nowadays have chances of disintegrating but some couples are able to make up. Resilience builds strong marriage. Standard of living, family upkeep, intimacy, finance to buy things in the home affect marriage.
Marriage undergoes phases. There are times when couples abuse themselves but being a resilient partner can help your marriage survive. Consistently make up your mind that your marriage will succeed.
As a woman, getting pregnant and taking delivery of a baby at the ninth month, nursing and nurturing such baby takes a lot of challenges, so also is marriage.
If you can determine that your business must grow with resilience then your marriage can also work.
Little talks from wives normally make their spouses take some decisions in marital affairs. Let’s assume your spouse returns late from work or business with a troubled mind, you should be able to encourage him or her.
Gratitude to partners and appreciating each other’s efforts in little things at home help in building marital sweetness.
Building problem solving skills help you maintain resilience in marriage.
Identify what the problem is. Don’t deal with the symptoms. Take series of questions. For you to be resilient, you must know how to solve problems. If you are not a good problems-solver, you may be creating a problem. Be patient because all problems cannot be solved in a day.
A woman may take a break without violence and as you leave the house, you don’t bang the door.
Being a problem solver, you should be able to manage your mental health. Mental stability is very important.
Discretion is important in building resilience. You consider who is qualified and who is not qualified. Having mentors in marriage is good especially those who have been in marriage for many years.
Avoid being an unteachable spouse. A woman should learn from experts in marital seminars and workshop.
Your marriage like a house should be built in such a way that when flood comes, it is not washed away.
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
