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Nigerian Homes And Burden Of Infidelity

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Infidelity in marital relationship has been an age-long cancer that is eating deep into marriages. A lot of couples and families that began well as lovebirds are now battling with unfaithfulness on the part of one spouse or the other.
Terribly, this monster is trickily creeping into some Christian homes. Both ministers of the gospel and church leaders are falling prey to this vice.
When a man or woman leaves his wife or husband and starts a hide-and-seek relationship with the opposite sex or even with same sex, as the case may be with homosexuals and lesbians; that spouse is an infidel and in for trouble, according to the word of God in Proverbs Chapter 6 Verse 27 which states thus: “can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothe not be burned”.
Marriage is all about transparency and honesty. Apart from unsatisfied sexual relationship in marriage, the next wicked enemies of marriage are dishonesty and lack of patience and transparency.
Can you imagine a couple that shares ideas and opinions on all the happenings of the day with each other, all of a sudden, a spouse becomes indifferent, insensitive and reserved? What has taken place? The forbidden fruit has been eaten and someone has gone hiding.
If there are secrets in your life which your spouse does not know about, and you are not ready to change from that which you are harbouring; you derive joy in breaking the heart of your spouse by living in adultery, then, you are a hypocrite, a suspect, a dishonest and unfaithful partner.
When infidelity creeps into a marriage, a husband or wife that used to be transparent will begin ‘to police’ his or her mobile phones and diaries like ballot boxes. He or she may even tie them to his or her waist and label them “Our-of-bound” from everybody including my wife or husband.
Security codes will be placed on all his social networks and he may decide to do his laundering himself lest his sins will find him or her out.
An unfaithful wife on her part may develop high blood pressure of unknown origin because her heart skips and pants at every sound of her ringing tone. If there is no toilet to run to hide and answer her calls, she will tag the call “wrong number”.
Causes Of Infidelity
Infidelity in marriages can be caused by the nagging and quarrelsome wife or husband especially over trivial issues, disorderly, unkept home, sexually-starved and abused. Others are lack of attention by husband or wife, dishonesty, suspicion, fear of the unknown and many more.
Effects Of Infidelity
Some of the effects of infidelity in marriages include fear, insecurity, heart-breaks, frequent ill-health, bitterness anger, children’s future not secure, possible home-breakage, unwanted divorce, spoilt relationship with the Almighty God and above-all, painful death.
Tackling Infidelity In Marriage
There are several steps to be taken so as to renounce secrets that cause infidelity in our marriages. These include being not in a haste to take decisions. The decision to quit and end the marriage at this time is never the best. Infact, that is just the desire of the enemy, and I believe you would not want to be its victim.
Be a little patient and have self-control so that you don’t do something stupid and regrettable.
Prayer
I know that the body may be weak at this time, but the spirit is always willing. So take time to pray ceaselessly. Run to the altar of God and sincerely pour out your heart and tears to God.
Only He can understand your unending groanings.
Be Positive To Yourself
You should study your Bible more than ever before and listen to gospel inspiring songs than bemoaning your fate and nursing your heart-breaks, shock, anger, pains and fear. Move ahead in 2018 and beyond as a truly changed person despite the present circumstances of life.
Having Flash Back
You are expected to have a flash back of the good times you both shared together and focus on them with sensitivity and sincerity.
Examine Yourself
It is also advisable you search yourself if you are the cause of your spouse’s infidelity. May be, your character has exposed your husband to a strange woman; or your wife has engaged in prostitution and lesbianism because you are always on the move, – “businessman”.
Choosing Convenient Time
You should choose a convenient time to talk it out. No third party should be involved but only the both of you. Make sure the environment is safe and secure.
Be Practical In Word
You should choose your words carefully and be practical in them. Don’t pronounce things from your mouth you will later regret about.
Attack Wisely and Constructively
You should not attack your spouse rather the problem. If there is anybody to take sides with, it is your spouse; if there is any place to run to, run into his arms. He has all it takes to heal that broken heart.
Open Your Heart For Reconciliation
You should ensure that you open your heart for your spouse for reconciliation. According to the gospel of Jesus Christ in 2nd Corinthians chapter 12 verse 9a, “My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness”.
Conclusively, couples and would-be couples should denounce prostitution, infidelity, poverty, sickness and death in their various marital relationships and shun the temptation of facing the wrath of God in all ramifications in as much as life is concerned. Let us think positively and fear God (Hebrews 10:31).

 

Bethel Sam Toby

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Nigeria Deserves Stylish, Sophisticated Designs-Igiebor Daddy Lucky

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IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights

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Women Can Curb Indecent Dressing

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The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication.  Non-verbal communication has been asserted  as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols.  It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”.  He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands.  The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage.  It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet,  in trending times of this 21st century, dress code  and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should  dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing.  Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame.  This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public.  Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace  of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed.  There may be no room for a second impression.  To the single ladies,  your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather,  it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.

Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.

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NWAPDI Launches Home Farming Scheme For Women In Okrika

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A non-governmental group,  Nigerian Women for Agricultural Progressive Development Initiative (NWAPDI), has taken it’s sensitization programme on home grown farming to women in Okrika Local Government Area.
The body which started in April, 2024 in Rivers State is boasting of huge grassroot followership and is planning a green revolution.
The Rivers State Coordinator, Barrister Ngozi Ajayi, who disclosed this in Okrika, last Thursday, said the programme would change the fortunes of women farmers and their families.
Ajayi was joined by  local government coordinators from Etche, Okrika, Emohua, and Omuma, at Ibaka Town, Okrika, to inaugurate 12-member Ward Coordinators of NWAPDI in the area.
Ajayi stated that since July, when the local government coordinators of NWAPDI were inaugurated, the body which aims to boost food sufficiency and arm women with skills in agro-production, had grown in followership, especially among the women folk.
She commended women in Okrika for the interest they had shown in the scheme, adding that she was impressed with the huge turnout and participation.
Shortly after inaugurating the 12 Ward Coordinators, Ajayi charged the women to exploit the opportunities provided by NWAPDI.
She reiterated that the body had come to stay as a way of  improving the wellbeing of women who, most times, were providers in their families.
“We want all of you to go back to your families and tell your people that whatever space you have, utilize it for subsistence farming.
“As you can see, the body is made up of lawyers, lecturers, teachers, and women in different sectors. The essence is to call attention on the need for women to collaborate together so their voices will be heard.
“Women are the major backbone in the agric sector, and if their efforts are harnessed to impact on the nation’s food production, their impact can go far,”she said.
With NWAPDI on board, she expressed optimism that the plight of women farmers would be reduced, such that all government and international support would get to the grassroots.
Also speaking, NWAPDI Coordinator in Okrika Local Government  Area, Prof. Nene Jamabo, a professor of Aqua Culture at the University of Port Harcourt, had  expressed delight over the interest shown by women in the LGA, saying with cluster farming, women would be empowered more than before.
“What we intend to do is Cluster Farming, and it’s  a whole lot of value chain. We want every woman to put food on their table.
“In Okrika we have observed that most of the women are into crafts, so we will combine cluster with integrated farming- to create a chain; some will be farming, some will be processing and others will be into marketing”, she said.
In her speech, the Chairperson, Caretaker Committee of Okrika Local Government Council, Mrs Gold Okujagu, who was represented by the Secretary of the Council, expressed satisfaction with the initiative.
She described NWAPDI as timely and very crucial to the current economic challenges in the country.
She explained that in an era of processed foods, the initiative would encourage women to grow organic foods.
She urged every woman to engage in subsistence farming at any level to reduce hazardous things that were being consumed as food.
Speaking after the inauguration, the Ward 2 Coordinator, Mrs Ibiere Williams, expressed gratitude to the Rivers State and Okrika Local Government Coordinators for organizing the programme.
Mrs Williams, who is of Ngeme-Biri, a civil servant, observed that many women from different parts of Okrika attended the programme, which indicated the readiness on their part to end food scarcity in the area.
“We saw many women from different parts of Okrika. That means we are ready to farm and see what we can gain. We appreciate the organisers, and they really encouraged us. We learned that there are so many ways for planting since we do not have much land in Okrika. Our women were happy.
“We are given these items free to plant in broken buckets, nylon and bags due to scarcity of land in the area. We were taught that sand mixed with fresh fish intestine can serve as manure. This was very educative. If we practice what we were taught, in the next one year, there will be food sufficiency in Okrika”, she said.
In her comments, a member of NWAPDI, Mrs Felicia Barasin, a business woman from Bulome-Biri stated that the programme was good and timely as many families were finding it difficult to feed because of the harsh economy.
Highlight of the occasion was the administration of oaths to the Ward Coordinators of the local government area by the Legal Officer, Ibiwari Maureen Waribo.
Also, the award of certificates and recognition of executive members of NWAPDI Okrika LGA by the State Coordinator. The EXCO include Vice Coordinator, Dr. Ibinabo Ogolo; Secretary, Ms. Constance Kalio; Treasurer, Mrs. Sime Loveday; and Public Relations Officer, Mrs Roseline Orupabo.
Cassava stems, okro, and vegetable seeds were shared amongst the women after the training section.
Over 500 women from Okrika Local Government Area attended the programme.
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