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Consequences Of High Bride Price

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Bride price is payment made by a groom or his kin to the family of the bride in order to ratify a marriage.  It is paid by the family of the groom to their future in-laws at the start of the marriage usually in cash and materials.
Bride price in Nigeria varies from one ethnic group to another.  What obtains as bride price in Rivers State may be different from Kogi State in terms of cash and materials required by the bride’s family. Although there are a few similarities in the list of items to be provided by the groom in Nigeria.
It also varies from family to family. Some families collect as low as N5,000 while others collect as high as N1,000,000.
There are criticisms that this African tradition of paying bride price to the bride’s family before marriage degrades a woman by putting a required monetary value on a wife.But those who support the tradition uphold it as a cherished cultural and religious symbol of marriage.
Some families see bride price as symbolic, hence they ask for less. I have seen a situation where the mother of the bride collected N30,000 and later gave it back to the couple, asking them to put it in their bank account so that it will serve as a “starter pack”. This shows that she wasn’t really giving her out for money.
In our local setting, a marriage is recognised only when bride price and gift items have been presented to the bride’s family.  It is important because it validates marriage to give a woman respectable status in the society as a wife.
The importance of bride price can never be over-emphasised. It is one of the highest honours confirming a bride’s value and womanhood, giving a husband the full rights to the economic and reproductive powers of his wife. It is an honour bestowed on the parents that their daughter is getting married.
I see nothing wrong in payment of bride price but in recent time, the issue of high bride price seems to be competitive among families whose daughters are ripe for marriage.It is alarming and heart-breaking how newly-wedded couples end up paying debts years after marriage. When demanding for high bride price, some parents do not realise the fact that the yet-to-be couple will plan for church and court (Registry). The Registry requires little token. Although, the clergy will not ask, but the couple need to settle one or two things in church.
More worrisome is the fact that some parents demand a live cow from an in-law as if the lady is to be exchanged. I know of a culture where cow must be provided to her kinsmen by the surviving husband or children before a late woman must be buried. The claim is that the man didn’t complete the marriage rites before the death if the woman. This is just to extort money from the late woman’s children.
A young man was mandated to pay about N2million to the wife’s kins after losing her during child birth, simply because he never completed marriage rites. What about the welfare of the surviving child?
A situation where a basin of fish that costs over N200,000 must be presented in the name of bride price for a traditional marriage to be contracted gave me concern.
A father also demanded about N1million as dowry for his daughter. For Christ’s sake, no amount of money collected as bride price can pay all the expenses from birth to University level of a lady as this is the dream of greater percentage of our parents nowadays. No amount of money can buy a woman. “Her value is inestimable”.
High bride price can cause disharmony between husband and his in-laws. A young man was lamenting that after his marriage, his in-laws can never be allowed into his family. This is as a result of whatever high bride price they would have charged.
High bride price can cause a man to exhibit violent behaviours when he remembers how much he paid. He gets angry at every little thing the wife does which can lead to domestic violence. The implication is that the woman will suffer in silence with the fear that the man may demand for the high bride price if she leaves the marriage.
Income from her job or personal business is seen by the man as his. She is being denied freedom on using her income and often leads to a situation where the husband must be consulted before any monetary transaction in the family. This leads to hostile marital environment and can destabilise the marriage.
Man dominates the woman in terms of decision-making. The woman has little say or nothing when issues come up in the home. He can say: “Don’t talk, I paid heavily”.
One of the consequences of high bride price is that if perhaps divorce occurs, the bride and the family, according to customary norms, have to return the dowry. If the dowry were very expensive to the tune of N1million, they may not be able to pay back.
High bride price encourages gender inequality. It reduces the power and prestige of the woman with the perception that she was paid for.
High bride price leads to poverty. A couple may have been forced to incur debts in the course of marriage. These are young men and women who are starting life perhaps after graduation and have not made enough savings. Paying back debts incurred during weddings for two to three years should be discouraged.
For many young men, withdrawal syndrome sets in when they remember that they have to provide as much as N1million to marry a wife. You see someone going to marry at the age 50 because he didn’t have enough.  Even the ladies are also affected here. Some men get scared of going into such families or ethnic groups for marriage.  When will they train their children?
No matter the status of the groom, minimal amount should be fixed for dowry to avoid certain consequences in future. Family of the bride should take cognizance of the fact that their daughter deserves some comfort in her new home.
It is high time the traditional institutions worked through their subjects in the various communities to create awareness on the dangers of high bride price in our society.
Community heads who are saddled with the responsibility of marriage functions and rites should be advised to cut down some of the items and reduce the costs of available ones.
I call on local government councils to work with traditional rulers, community and family
heads as well as women leaders to come out with minimum and maximum amount of money and other items needed as bride price and dowry.
It should be domesticated in the by-laws of the local councils across Nigeria.

 

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Opinion

Nigeria Police And The “Miscreants” Theory

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The “withdrawn” reaction of the Rivers State Police Command to public condemnation of the police antagonism to a recent peaceful protest in Port Harcourt, tagged #Take-IT-Back Movement organised by Civil Society Organisations, the Niger Delta Congress and other concerned groups, leave much to be desired. The Police Public Relations Officer of the Rivers State Command, Grace Iringe-Koko in what seems a brilliant  defence to the action of the unprofessional and inordinately ambitious conduct of the policemen had described those whom the police threw cannisters of teargas at, as, “miscreants and  thieves”. To say the least, the Channel Television Reporter, Charles Opurum, Allwell Ene of Naija FM, Soibelelemari Oruwari of Nigeria Info, Ikezam Godswill of AIT and Femi Ogunkhilede of Super FM who were among those tear-gassed while discharging their legitimate duties of covering the peaceful protest,  could not have been “miscreants” and “thieves”. Such practice of giving  people a bad name to whip up public sentiment and hate and give a cosmetic treatment to an exceedingly ugly incident, seems the antics of some men of the Nigeria Police.
Some years ago I remember a trigger- happy police officer had rhetorically asked me, “Do you know I can shoot you here and brand you a criminal”? The question that readily came to my mind was, if a public officer and a professional journalist of several years  of practice could be so threatened and branded a criminal, what is the fate of common citizens in society. That lends credibility to the fact that some victims of police brutality and extra-judicial killings are innocent. They are mere victims of circumstances. It is also common experience that men of the Nigeria Police swoop on scenes of crime,  arrest some innocent residents of the area, brand them suspects and hurl them in detention for more than 48 hours. Nigeria Police should be more  professional enough in their operations, so that  innocent people will not suffer humiliation, incarceration and financial losses for bail. Agreed that it is within the statutory obligation of the Public Relations unit  to launder the image of its organisation, but it should be done with discretion, and not with utter disregard and disrespect to the sanctity of human lives. Refutal must be factual and truth based.
The public relations or image making service if not done conscientiously can dent the credibility and integrity of a practitioner. No doubt the viral video clips on the police hurling teargas cannisters on peaceful protesters cannot be described as a figment of imagination or an attempt to “incite public anxiety and create unnecessary tension within the State” as stated by the Police Public Relations Officer in her reaction to public condemnation of the action of her colleagues.  Though the able and Media-friendly Rivers State Commissioner of Police has apologised to the Nigeria Union of Journalists, Rivers State Council and  the assaulted Journalists, for the unprofessional conduct of the policemen who were involved in the Journalists’ brutality, the conduct was, according to the leadership of Rivers State Council of Nigeria Union of Journalists, “barbaric, inhuman and a flagrant disrespect to the rights  of the assaulted  journalists. Recall that the Rivers State Police Command had described as false, unfounded and baseless, reports that police officers fired teargas on unarmed protesters in an attempt to disperse them.
In the words of the Police Public Relations officer, “Upon receiving intelligence regarding the protest, our officers were promptly deployed to the specified locations. “On arrival, a group of miscreants was observed engaging in criminal acts, including the theft of mobile phones and other valuables from unsuspecting members of the public. “Our operatives responded swiftly, dispersing the individuals. This baseless story appears to be a deliberate fabrication by mischief makers seeking to incite public anxiety and create unnecessary tension within the state.” However, it is time  Nigeria Police realised that the right to peaceful protest is legitimate and fundamental. It is enshrined in International rights instruments, including the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights and domesticated by Nigeria. Section 40 of Nigeria’s Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to assemble freely. The right to peaceful protest is the beauty and a function of democratic governance. It offers the masses the opportunity for self expression and calling erring or a failed government or leadership back to its statutory obligation.
It allows people to publicly voice their concerns, challenge injustices, and participate actively in the democratic process. Protests serve as a vital mechanism for holding leaders accountable and ensuring that government actions reflect the will and needs of the people. The recognition and approval of the right to protest is one action that makes a great difference between a truly democratic government from a repressive, dictatorial and despotic administration. Protest is evident and inevitable in every human institution or organisation from family to school, work places etc, if the heads or the administrators abuse their position and treat with contempt the people on whose prerogative they (leaders) were elected. Some children have also protested against their parents, students protest against wrong administration etc. Protest is therefore, a corrective mechanism, it is expression of a dissenting position against anti-people policies and programmes. The distinctiveness of the Democratic governance over the Military is unreserved and unalloyed respect and regard for the Rule of Law. If the Rule of Law and its implications are undermined, then there is inevitable transition to dictatorship, a military regime in the garb of a civilian administration.
However, the calamitous consequences during the #EndSARS protest and #EndBadGovernance protest show that the respect for the rule of law and its implications remain a far-cry to constitutional requirement. The losses incurred during such protests cannot be consigned to the dusbin of history in a hurry. What is the outcome of the #EndSARS protests and brutality? Nigeria Police and other security agencies should tread with caution on the issue of peaceful protests and treating journalists and innocent members of the public as “miscreants”, and “thieves”.

By: Igbiki Benibo

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Opinion

Essence of Easter

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It’s another Easter, a day Christians the world over celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ from death. At the heart of Easter is the belief that Jesus rose from death on the third day after His crucifixion (as described in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). This event is seen as proof that Jesus is the Son of God and that His promises of eternal life are true.The resurrection is seen as Jesus’ victory over sin, death, and the power of evil. His rising means that those who believe in Him are no longer bound by sin or spiritual death but can share in His eternal life. Easter symbolses new life, not just spiritually but in how believers live their daily lives. Just as Christ rose, Christians believe they too can rise from past mistakes, addictions, guilt, or despair, and walk in a “newness of life.” In a world full of suffering, uncertainty, and death, Easter offers hope—the assurance that pain and death do not have the final word. It reminds Christians that no matter how bad things get, there is always the possibility of resurrection, restoration, and new beginnings.
But even beyond the religious narrative, Easter coroborates¹ a universal truth: that suffering is not the end of the story, and that even in the darkest times, renewal is possible. For many Nigerians today, that message feels especially urgent. The economic situation is unbearable. The cost of living has reached painful highs. A bag of rice now costs more than many families earn in a month. Electricity remains unreliable, jobs are scarce, and the dream of a better tomorrow feels distant. Politically, many are disillusioned. Promises come and go like the harmattan wind—loud in arrival, but often empty in effect. Elections have come and gone, but the people’s cries often go unheard. The skyrocketing prices in the markets, currency fluctuations, ever-rising cost of living, unabating insecurity have become the daily realities of many Nigerians. In the past few weeks, the conflict in Plateau and Benue States have reportedly claimed several lives. Thousands of people from the affected communities have fled from their ancestral homes.
Recently, in Uzo-Uwani Local Government Area of Enugu State, about 25 people were reportedly killed, several properties destroyed by insurgents who attacked the agrarian communities. Many other communities in the country have painful stories arising from insecurity. Amid all this, Easter arrives—not merely as a date on the calendar, but as a symbol, a whisper from the heavens that says: this is not the end. As earlier stated, at the very core of Easter is a message of resurrection. For Christians, it is the story of Jesus Christ, who after the pain of the cross and the silence of the tomb, rose again in glory. But beyond the church pews and Sunday services, Easter holds a timeless message for every Nigerian: after suffering comes renewal, after darkness comes light. It reminds us that there is still power in perseverance. That in the same way Christ endured the cross and emerged victorious, we too must hold on—even if just barely—believing that change is possible. Easter calls us to resist the temptation to give in to hopelessness. It urges us to keep pushing, to keep speaking out, to keep believing that Nigeria can rise.
There’s an old Yoruba proverb that says, “Bi iku ile o ba pa ni, t’ode o le pa ni” — “If the threat at home does not kill one, that from outside cannot.” In other words, it is from within that we draw our strength. Despite economic hardship,  political frustrations,  feeling forgotten by those in power, we as a people should not give up. And that is the essence of Easter. The Bible says in Romans 8:18, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” It reminds us that hardship is not permanent. Things can change. We can rise. But Easter is not just a story of survival it is a call to action. Like Jesus’ resurrection, it demands transformation. It asks each of us: What must die in our society so that something better can live? Is it corruption? Is it apathy? Is it greed? And more personally: What must rise in us? integrity? compassion? courage?
Nelson Mandela once said, “Our human compassion binds us the one to the other—not in pity or patronisingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future.” We must stop waiting for change from the top and start building it from the ground. Whether supporting a struggling neighbor, voting with conscience, speaking the truth in our workplaces, or simply refusing to cheat the next man—these are the small resurrections that will one day lift Nigeria from the grave. As the Igbos  say, “Obu onye kwe, chi ya ekwe” — “When one agrees (to something),  his spirit agrees also.” If we, the people, agree to rise—to hold onto hope and live with purpose—then even heaven will back our efforts. In a world that often feels heavy with uncertainty, conflict, and division, Easter invites us to pause and reflect. It challenges us to consider how we treat one another, how we face adversity, and whether we still believe in the possibility of transformation. It’s a moment to ask: What needs  be resurrected in our own lives? Is it a lost relationship, a forgotten dream, or simply the courage to begin again?
This Easter, let us reflect deeply. Not only on the pain we have endured, but on the promise that lies ahead. Let us pray, yes—but also act. Let us hope but also build. Above all, let us remember: no matter how long the night is, the morning must surely come. Let the message of the empty tomb stir us into action—not out of fear or anger, but out of the same love and sacrifice that Easter celebrates. Because no matter how long the night, the dawn always comes.”Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” — Psalm 30:5. Happy Easter, Nigeria.

By: Calista Ezeaku

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Opinion

Addressing Nigeria’s Social Ills Through Cultural Education

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One of the critical problems confronting Nigeria today is the lack of recognition and appreciation of our tangible heritage, values, and norms – elements that are crucial for fostering social cohesion and responsibility. These values, which are inherently adaptive, can only be transmitted effectively through cultural education.Nigerian food Cultural education involves socialising individuals into the norms, values, and heritage of a given society through mediums such as folktales. Its primary intent is to nurture socially responsible and morally upright individuals who contribute positively to their community. In essence, cultural education is a learned behavioral pattern shared and transmitted from one generation to another. It encompasses customs, traditions, beliefs, arts, and philosophies of life. As Babs Fafunwa (1994) observed, every society, regardless of its size, has its unique ways of transmitting its cultural heritage.
Cultural education plays a vital role in shaping a child’s character and physical skills. Cultural education also has unique ways of instilling respect for elders and authority in the child. In addition, cultural education helps in developing intellectual abilities, fostering a sense of belonging, and promoting active participation in family and community affairs. This concept also cultivates a healthy attitude towards honest labour while it also helps to preserve the community’s cultural heritage. However, since Nigeria’s independence in 1960, the infiltration of foreign cultures, technological advancements, religious beliefs, and political systems have significantly helped in the erosion of the country’s social fabric. Today, Nigeria grapples with the loss of cultural values in more ways than one. The country also grapples with moral laxity among youths, violence, delinquent behaviours as well as the disruption of traditional political systems.
Beyond these, lack of cultural education has also triggered a decline in political will among the country’s citizenry. Thus, social issues such as sex abuse, prostitution, drug trafficking, kidnapping for ransom, internet fraud (which are more commonly known as 419); cybercrime, militancy, armed robbery, and examination malpractice have become rampant. However, these challenges can be mitigated through the promotion and sustenance of cultural education in Nigeria. Bringing cultural education forward in the country’s socio-political and economic systems would go a long way in redirecting the citizenry from the identified social ills. For instance, cultural socialization teaches children the proper ways to greet elders and interact respectfully. Observing parents during ceremonies are also a way to achieving this. Ceremonies such as weddings, child-naming, or funerals help children learn appropriate behaviour at such and sundry ceremonies, and decorum. Unfortunately, many youths today lack respect for elders and are antagonistic to cultural values. Instead, they are influenced by foreign films, contents and literature which often glorify disrespect to our culture; violence and weapon use. As a result, some have become political thugs, religious extremists or armed robbers. They now pose a severe threat to Nigeria’s national survival.
Furthermore, exposure to undesirable foreign cultures has led to extensive moral degradation which manifest in ways such as drug abuse, prostitution, theft, and internet fraud. Dressing among Nigerian youths is another concern. Many young people disregard their cultural heritage and show utmost disdain for their geographical environment. For example, some young women wear clothing that leaves vital parts of their bodies exposed, while young men adopt unkempt appearances, including sagging their trousers and leaving their shirts unbuttoned. There are also instances of unfastened shoelaces. These issues can be addressed through family-based cultural socialisation, where parents play a critical role in imparting cultural education. It is therefore recommended that, to address these social ills, the following measures are suggested. The first is that there should be ways to incorporate cultural education into the curriculum of our schools. Nigeria’s education system should be reviewed to emphasise cultural education, including the use of indigenous languages for instruction. Cultural elements such as morality, taboos, mores, and folktales should be promoted to shape human behaviour positively.
Another suggestion is that we should indigenise the Nigerian political systems. The political system should incorporate cultural principles and practices specific to Nigeria’s diverse cultural environments. This will encourage greater participation and accountability among political leaders. Thirdly, we must promote local content in media. A ban should be placed on the excessive use of foreign entertainment packages in media houses and on social media. Instead, Nigerian cultural content should be prioritised and promoted to reinforce cultural identity. Also, we must strengthen parental socialisation. Through this, families must embrace parental socialisation as a key method for imparting cultural education. Parents should model cultural values and behaviours to guide their children effectively. Cultural education is very essential for curbing social ills in Nigeria. By integrating it into our education system, political practices and media content, we can foster a society rooted in strong moral values and cultural heritage, thereby ensuring a strong and brighter future for generations to come.

Modupe is Chief Museum Education Officer, National Commission for Museums & Monuments, Osogbo, Osun State.

Veronica Adewole

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