Women
Sustaining The Juice In Your Marriage
Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. With family and friends around them, every couple steps into marriage relationship full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. However, beyond the euphoria that greets the initial coming together, how many makes it to the end, has remained a puzzle, not many could solve probably because the road to a happy marriage is one far from being easy. Going by today’s divorce statistics , many couples opt not to complete the journey.
Behind every lasting relationship, love is not excluded. They also do things each day to show their love. Showing your partner that you care does not require anything special or out of the ordinary. It can be as simple as doing a thoughtful act of service or really listening when they have something important to say. Keeping a relationship going for a long time is about so much more than just being compatible. At some point, conflicts will arise and you will have to make a decision between working through it or calling it a day.
However, for Chief and Chief (Mrs) Ikechukwu Okonkwo Ogabu, they owe their happy relationship of 30 years to boundless love.. It seems like such a simple step. “Unconditional” indeed. This means that no matter how big the argument, or how huge the disagreement, love makes the bond what while. And navigating through thick and thin is made possible.
As they marked their 30th marriage anniversary a few days back, one could but congratulate the couple for their resilience against failure. Certainly, such feat in marriage relationship could not have been without obvious challenges purported to frustrate partners but the ability to surmount such distractions calls for celebration.
Chief (Mrs) Okonkwo Ogabu, a former chairman of Nigeria Association of Women Journalists, NAWOJ, Rivers State, and currently, the Deputy National President of the same body, recounts that marriage is never a bed of roses. It is a very challenging venture especially in Africa where marriage goes beyond the nuclear family to include extended family members. And the husband and most importantly wife must have to put up with these extended family members.
Married at very young age without a grasp of the intricacies of marriage, she did not only realize with time that marriage was not only sweet but was also tasking especially with the arrival of children.
Love she confessed was the reason she could remain resolute to her vow, stating that “When you love, you can forgive. Love is the greatest!, Love makes it easy to let go errors”. For her challenges come in diverse ways, hence the need to persevere
This mother of 4 and grandmother of 1, who anchored her strength in God and family love, (the will to protect my children too), advises younger couples to love and cherish their partner, by so doing they can easily tolerate flaws, avoid going into relationship based on material things, as this stands the risk of back firing at the long run. She did not forget the place of forgiveness in marriage relationship.
Mrs Okonkwo-Ogabu remains eternally appreciative to her Husband, Chief Ikechukwu Ogabu for being supportive of her career and life’s endeavour. She enjoins all men to emulate him
According to marriage counsellors, a marriage lasts better when partners are ready to work and walk through conflict. It would be unfair to say that couples who have been together for a long time don’t argue. They do, but they just have a better way of dealing with it.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
Some couples would say It’s great when your partner respects your time and lets you do your thing, but at some point, you need to make the effort to protect your time together. If you keep cancelling plans, you might soon discover that you are living with a housemate rather than a partner. Make time for date night every now and then, no matter how busy your lives get.
Experiencing new things together is one of the best things you can do to keep a relationship alive. Push yourself out of your comfort zone to discover new things. It could be travelling to a new place, or exploring new territory in the bedroom. Pick up a new couple friendly sex toy from Pleasure Delights and discover a new side of your partner.
After watching Olu Jacob’s receiving his prestigious award, three things came on my mind:
Sex alone does not keep marriage going. Friendship and companionship keeps marriage going. The body will eventually get old and you won’t have the urge for it. The children you train will eventually, leave and build their home It will get to a stage, It will just be you and your partner. What will make it fun is the friendship. You gist together, play together, pray together and many more.
By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi
Women
Nigeria Deserves Stylish, Sophisticated Designs-Igiebor Daddy Lucky
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
Women
Women Can Curb Indecent Dressing
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.