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Wife Risks Divorce Over Alleged Insubordination

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Mrs Victoria Egemonu, a mother of five, may possibly be shown the way out of her matrimonial home should the plea of her husband be honoured by a  Lagos-based customary court.

A 44-year-old civil servant, Mr Vitus Egemonu, on Tuesday pleaded with the Grade ‘A’ Customary Court, Agege, Lagos, to divorce his marriage of 16 years over his spouse’s alleged disobedience, lack of respect and threat to life.

The father of five children, aged between six years and 15 years, and who lives at No. 9, Olowo St., Papa Ashafa, Agege, Lagos, told the court that his voice had not been heard in his home in the past 10 years.

“For the past 10 years, my wife has been moving from one church to the other, claiming that it was God that sent her to be doing so.

“She carries the bible from morning till night and has not obeyed what it says about a wife being submissive to her husband.

“She has refused to cook at home for the past 15 months, meaning that I have not eaten at home since then, all in the name of church programmes, bible colleges and fellowships,’’ he said.

Egemonu also told the court that his wife, Victoria, had fought with almost all the tenants in their house, all in the name that God told her that they were all witches and wizards.

“I was a bachelor when I rented the house we are now. I have not fought with anyone in the house, until my wife came in.

“She always fights with our landlady and calls her a witch. My wife told the woman that she used her daughter’s foetus for money; now we have been given a quit notice to move out.

“She brainwashed my daughter such that the girl looked straight in my eyes and said the Lord told her that this year will be a year of joblessness for me,’’ he said.

Egemonu also told the court that his wife said God told her that she should not be celebrating Christmas or put on any red clothes.

“Since then, she doesn’t cook during Christmas. For the past 10 years, my wife has attended up to 20 churches all in the name of God said this, God said that.

“She told my friend that she will prefer to divorce me than to change her ways of life because, according to her, it is God that is at work in her life.

“She doesn’t want to work; she told me that God told her not to work and that if I try to set her up, the business will crumble,” he said.

Egemonu is praying the court for a divorce, as well as the custody of their five children.

“I will commit suicide, if the court doesn’t divorce us,’’ he declared in court.

However, the respondent, 39-year-old Victoria, told the court that she still loved her husband and that she was not ready to divorce him.

“I am a prophet and a pastor called by God to work for him, so the problem with my husband and I started when I became born-again.

“Though we both attended the Catholic Church before I became a child of God, but God doesn’t want me there again.

“I just left the Redeemed Church and I don’t know the next church God will ask me to go to again; God told me not to celebrate Christmas and that I should not put on white clothes and I am obeying him.

“My husband doesn’t sleep at home, yet I have never fought him over that, but I know the reason for this trouble is because I am a prophet of God,” she said.

The Court President, Mr Emmanuel Sokunle, told the woman to complement her pastoral work with some domestic work and to continue to pray to God to change her husband’s heart.

“Since both of you are still staying in the same house, I want you to maintain the peace and I want the husband to still provide for the family as before,” Sokunle said.

He, then, adjourned the case till June 4, for continuation of hearing.

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A Season Of Wife Battery

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A civil servant, Jide Adebayo,  once wrote; “Wife battering should not be permissible by the law. If the wave is increasing, there is need for amendment of the statute books,”.
Adebayo’s position is shared by various non-governmental organisations (ngos) and related associations that have begun canvassing for laws to curb wife beating to ensure full protection for women. 
As it stands, many  NGOs  now provide data on violence against women, particularly domestic violence especially now that the act is criminalised.
From the widely-held perception of male superiority and the belief that men have the right to beat their wives,  it is said that an erring wife should be brought back to the right path of life by beating her once in a while,” says Ngozi Osarenren, a lecturer at the University of Lagos .
But that is highly erronuos. This  coercive power of men  which is often manifested in physical and mental subjugation through violence, smacks of discrimination  against women in Nigeria. Thus, the idea of considering “Wife battering  a family problem to be settled in the privacy of the home” and classified under common assault in the nation’s criminal code, only to be given due attention when grievous bodily harm is inflicted and, possibly the death of a victim,  must be reviewed.
Due to the laccadaisical attitude of the custodians of our safety in this regard,  issues such as Man beats wife to stupor over snoring,
Man allegedly beats wife to stupor for starting business without his consent, Man beats his wife to Stupor For Attending church Activities Amidst corona virus , Medical Doctor beats wife to stupor etc, appear to be the trending headlines on both local and foriegn tabloids.
Just recently, a man beats wife to death over N2,000 in Benin City. A 45-year-old man identified as Christopher, beat his wife to death over N2,000. The incidence  happened at No. 1, Agbontaen Street, beside Ebvareke Secondary School, off Agboniro Street, Uselu, Benin City.
The man was said to have pounced on his wife, Mrs. Isoken Christopher, following her failure to give him the N2,000 loan he requested from her.
The eldest child of the deceased, Augustine Christopher, said his mother was hale and hearty before the sad incidence.The 13-year old boy explained that his father, who is a menial worker with a waste manager in Benin, always beats his mother at the slightest provocation.
Barely one week after  police in Adamawa apprehended a man for beating his wife to death, a similar incidence re-occurred in the state.Hammawa Usman, 41, of Jada Ward, Ganye town in Ganye Local Government Area  reportedly killed  his 36-years-old wife, Rabiyatu Usman, in a dispute involving N1,000.
Sulaiman Nguroje, Police spokesman,  said the suspect engaged Rabiyatu in a fight when she demanded the refund of her N1,000. From his explanation, “the suspect angrily reacted by hitting her head against the wall … she fell unconscious and was rushed to the hospital where she was later confirmed dead.This is how a  16 -years  old marriage. With  five children  ended in sorrow.
The case of man beating  wife to stupor over snoring was one of the earliest reports on wife battery ever recorded. A 30-year- old, commercial motorcyclist, Tukur Paul alegedly beat his wife, Mrs Jennifer Paul to stupor for accusing him of snoring. Official  reports said the intervention by neighbours and passers-by saved her from further attack.
According to an eye witness who preferred anonymity, it all started at about 9 p.m. on  the fateful day  when neighbours ran outside at the shout of the wife who was seriously being beaten by her husband.
This is not a case of extra-marital affairs that usually lead to divorce, but a mere misunderstanding that could be controlled with little patience,. The woman, according to the husband,  prevented him from sleeping after having a hard day. Paul said having gone through a hectic day, that he decided to have some rest but was prevented by his wife because he was snoring.
For whatever reason that may have pushed this husband to act the way he did, his luck was that he immediately contacted the police who was able to help him resuscitate her.
In another instance, a  four-year-old union that has produced a son witnessed a round of media scrutiny when on Friday April 28, 2017, the news made the rounds that a  Nollywood actress,  was battered by her husband,  and that she had suffered injuries on the face. She was reported to have been on admission at a hospital where she was treated as a result of the assault.
This was clearly highlighted   three days later, as Kemi Ashefon, a journalist,  dropped some lines, informing the public of an incidence of wife battery. Kemi  posted  the photo of the battered face of Mercy Aigbe,  an   actress and mother of two, allegedly perpetrated by her husband  Lanre Gentry.  The media then was inundated with report  on an investigation committee set up by the Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs over the alleged battery and assault on the actress by her husband.
This was against the backdrop that the  ministry  of women affairs has incessantly campaigned against domestic violence and sensitized women to report cases of violence for possible prosecution. Meanwhile the then governor of Lagos State, Akinwunmi Ambode, had  issued a mandate to the ministry to crack down on domestic violence especially against women. Obviously, this  was a habinger of the fall of an enviable marriage.
“Man beats wife to death for refusing sex in Edo”, was another headline that attracted varying reactions from the public.The family of a woman, Ugieki Asemota, has urged the Edo State Police Command to prosecute her husband, Emmanuel, for allegedly beating her to death for refusing him sexual intercourse.
It was gathered that an argument ensued between the couple at their residence on Abaegbe Street in the Evbotubu area of Benin on Monday, June 28, 2021.
It was learnt that Ugieki entered her room and locked the door to avoid issues with her husband.But, Emmanuel, who persisted in entering the room with her, allegedly tried to break the door with an axe.While Ugieki attempted to escape through the window, her husband was said to have accosted and beaten  her to a coma.
The victim, was said to have been rejected by two hospitals before she was admitted in to the third hospital  where she finally died. Unfortunately, while the marriage lasted,  it was gathered that it was fraught with violence.
The state Police Public Relations Officer, Kontongs Bello, who confirmed the incident, said the suspect would be charged to court at the end of investigation.
He said, “The couple were married in 2002 and had two boys together before she died. The woman denied him sex and he beat her to a coma. When we finish our preliminary investigation, we will charge him to court.”
The list is endless. One wonders how on earth in this present modern world will a man beat up his wife over trivial issues. I think the earlier we resolve to treat wife battery with disdain, the better for the society.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Glitz, Glamour Of The Eve Afrique Red Ball

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Eve Afrique hosted her annual  Red Ball event at Hago Heights Event Centre,Peter Odili Road, Port Harcourt recently with the theme;” “Together Securing Development and Peace across the Niger Delta”.
It was fun-filled with fashion statement gowns at the Red Ball event. The colour was Sien, dramatic and perfect for the mood. Fabulous designs and some seriously interesting sleeve works were at play.
Stunning and glimmering evening gowns stood out. Ladies, check out some of the designs and go for them.

By: Ibinabo Ogolo

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Celebrating International Widows Day

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International Widows’ Day is a global awareness day that takes place annually on 23rd June. The day was launched by the United Nations in 2010 to raise awareness on the violation of human rights that widows suffer in many countries following the death of their spouses.
In many countries with traditional societies, women find themselves left in poverty when their husbands die. In some countries, these women find themselves denied of inheritance and land rights, evicted from their homes, ostracised and abused. The children of widows also often find themselves affected, withdrawn from school and more vulnerable to abuse, especially in the case of girls.
International Widows’ Day works to encourage action in achieving full rights for widows, highlighting the need for more research and statistics into violence, discrimination and poverty suffered by widows and develop policies and programmes to address the problem.
The ultimate goal of the day is to develop resources and policy to empower widows and allow them to have access to education, work, healthcare and live free of violence and abuse. Enabling them to create a life for themselves and their children following the death of their husbands and ending a cycle of poverty and abuse. 
International Widows’ Day is an initiative of the Loomba Foundation, launched at the House of Lords in London on 26 May 2005.
Following the launch, the Loomba Foundation led a five-year global campaign for UN recognition, which resulted in an unanimous decision to adopt International Widows’ Day as an annual global day of action by the UN General Assembly in December 2010.
Since then, International Widows’ Day has provided a focus for campaigning in many countries around the world, with opportunities to create awareness in communities and engage governments in developing effective policies. Much has already been achieved but, as Lord Loomba points out, millions remain in urgent need, and “we’ve barely started yet”. 

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