Women
Divorce: Solution To A Crumbling Marriage?
One of the institutions of God that
man has embraced with every sense of eagerness and satisfaction is marriage. It
is something that everyman and woman irrespective of religion or race
craves for. It spreads joy across the
families of both the bride and groom, while ensuring sense of life’s
fulfillment in every being across the society.
It is highly esteemed, so much that the absence of it in the
life of an average man or woman poses some level of irresponsibility, depression and even complex in the course of
life. Its attendant reverence and favour have rendered at a necessity to every
mature adult hence it has become a normalcy that in recent times, every weekend
is packed with marriage ceremonies in village squares, churches and event
places with happiness on the faces of attendants.
It is a worrisome however, that such an event of life with
all its show of beauty, creativity, joy and blessings could still be attended
to with levity, such that, the more wedding ceremonies, the more cases of
divorce, contrary to the oath of “till death do us part”.
To say however, that divorce is gradually topping the list of
cases attended to in the magistrate courts of late is to say the least, grossly
understatement.
Divorces, as it were, has become part of life among couples.
It is seen as the best option where any form of supposed irregularity is found
in a marriage. A supposed solution to a crumbling marital union. The shame and
stigma that hitherto attended this act have been so trivialized that it no longer matters, afterall, life goes on.
Hence, The Tide’s women’s Desk was poised to find out
why many are opting out of an institution that others are yearning to embrace.
A close investigation on the issue reveals that there were
marriages that lasted for just a month. Very unique was the marriage that ended
just after the couple’s honey moon, where they parted ways on their way back
from the ‘moon.’
“Most women need partners that would share ideas and help
them accomplish their dreams. When these expectations are not met, it is rather
considered wise to opt out and get going” says a divorcee who pleaded anonymity
She explained that the incompatibility of the man and woman
is enough reason for the marriage not to continue because it could lead to an
untimely death of one of the partners.
According to her, some men are just irresponsible they don’t
want to be committed in their
relationship. They are just after the conjugal bliss, a situation she endured
for three years after which she decided to call it a quit.
Mrs Celestina Hekerem, a banker with Eko Bank was of the view
that the present hard economy was a contributory factor to the issue of
divorce. According to her, today’s economy is very sophisticated and highly
demanding. It requires all hands (husband and wife) to be on deck for the family
to push on.
Apart from those that I would describe as being highly
favored by God, most couples are either unemployed or one of them making do
with one meager salary-paid job or the other.
It takes an enduring partner to stay through the marriage otherwise,
it is divorce, she said.
For Mr Toney Fiberesima, dishonesty could be the bane of any
marriage.
According to him, how could anyone continue with a marriage
entered into with the understanding that the bride is a virgin and later
discover that she is not.
Fiberesima maintained that marriage was supposed to be built
on sincerity and devoid of every form of pretence. Unfortunately, he noted that
most marriages are founded on untruthfulness and pretence and because they must
be exposed someday, the marriage can’t continue.
Doctors Blessing Amadi and Godstime Ike of the University of
Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital were of the view that infertility among couples is a major cause of divorce. “Ofcourse, one of the basic reason of
marriage is for procreation and where this is absent after many years of
marriage, it is somehow bound to crash except for very few enduring couples.”
They added
They also revealed that the libido or romantic ability of a
partner can contribute to the rise and fall of a marriage.
Pastor Anyalebechi Nnunukwe of the Seventh Day Adventist
Church, Port Harcourt, attributed the cause of divorce to adultery, intolerance
and lack of patience among couples.
He said a lot of couples today for reasons known to them have
lost sight of the original nature of marriage – that a man would leave his
father and mother and cling to his wife and both of them shall become one
flesh, they have relegated this injunction by God and turned to sharing their
flesh with two or even multiple fleshes.
They are different entities coming together to live their lives and
share a common goal. This requires a high level of tolerance and patience.
Unfortunately, these virtues seem to be lacking in most couples resulting to
divorce.
On his part, Chief Nsan Enerene, said marriage is to foster
posterity. Your marriage should provide you with a son that will continue your
lineage. Your wife could give you only female children and you might be lenient
enough to pick another wife to give you a male child but your wife may not
agree with you and so, the best thing is to get divorced.
A 92-year old retiree of the Federal Civil Service, Pa Akande
Ishaya, lamented that today’s marriages are made up of youngsters who are
immature and lack knowledge of the nitty-gritty of marriage, this he views as a
major cause of divorce.
It seems that the quest for marriage among youngmen and women
has neglected the idea of courtship
where most of these issues would have been resolved and the marriage formed
with every sense of understanding, tolerance and hopefulness.
Moreso, life itself is a check and balance, the absence of
which would result to unfathomable chaos. Thus, what cannot be changed, I
think, should be rationally endured thereby returning the original beauty of
marriage and then, it would be a worthwhile adventure.
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
