Women
Choosing A Lifetime Friend
It is natural for a human
being to crave social activity and companionship. This is a necessary part of the life and development of personality. The desire to have a friend or companion lays the foundation for the later desire to have a home for oneself.
The growing interest in friendships and social activities is the means of developing a wide circle of friends of about one’s own age and this acquaintance with other people enables him to decide what traits he admires in others. The increasing knowledge of human nature eventually enables one to make a wise choice of a life friends
In late childhood a member of your peer means about as much to you as any other members, but as you grow into teens you begin to have favourites among your friends, one of whom will mean more to you than the others. So you begin to speak of this best friend as being your pal. Pals have many things in common.
Choosing friends is an important activity in life and this happens especially during the teens.
During childhood, one takes friends more or less for granted without choosing any of them as a pal. May be you became acquainted with them simply because they happened to attend a school with you or you attend the same church or Iive in the same neighbourhood. But now that you are approaching manhood, friends begin to mean more and more to your.
From that moment, you will exercise your right to choose whom to make your friends, which must be made intelligently.
When somebody chooses friends, he starts to place a high value on the opinions of his friends. In fact, his own ideas and preferences now depend on their ideas and preferences. When alone with each other, they talk freely about their personal interests and confide the things that perplex and concern them, as well as discuss matters they do not understand.
They even talk about things they would not discuss with anyone else. When either of them gets into some difficulty the other talks it over with his pal, and together they plan a way out of the circumstance. When one is in trouble, the other comes to his rescue, they go places together and like to be members of the same association. They will not allow themselves to be snobbish in their dealings with other people. Friends must be loyal to their pals, but should not allow their close relationship to deprive them of their association with other people of their age.
For one’s best interest, he needs to have a fairly wide circle of friends and learn to get along with a larger group, develop the ability to give and take. This will help in afterlife to live peaceful and agreeably under various circumstances. If one fails to make friendships with the larger group, it is possible that he will become selfish and think more of his own interests than of the possibilities for helping others and being of service to humanity at large.
It is by cultivating friendships with the larger group that your personality will undergo a “polishing” process that smooths away many of the rough edges.
By the time one reaches his middle or late age, he finds a growing interest in friendships with girls or women as well as with the boys or men. As human, there is a time when one begins to notice a particular girl or boy more than the others and finds himself or herself seeking out opportunities to attract his or her attention and to show special favours.
The success in making and retaining friends requires loyalty and such loyalties are very clearly defined in the minds of the friends.
We must recognize the fact that the influence of our friends goes a long way toward determining the kind of personality and character that we develop. In a sense, ween trust owr future to our friends because of the high esteem that we have for them, as their lives virtually become parts of ours. Thus, our choice of friends becomes a most important consideration so we must select those whose ideals we admire and those whose policies we can safely imitate or imbibe.
In order for friends to enjoy each other’s companionship, they must think very much alike and act alike. Therefore, in choosing a friend, we should ask the question, “is this the type of person I would like to be? If the answer is yes, you are safe in establishing the friendship, otherwise you are in for trouble.
It would be better for one not to develop intimate friendships than for his friendships to be developed with those whose ideals and standards are lower than his. Truly, you need friendship and companionship with people of your own age. But if there are no people around you that have the same ideals as you, it may be best to make it possible to mingle with people of high ideals.
The choice of friends becomes important, especially when religious considerations are at stake. If you form a close friendship with one whose religious beliefs differ from yours, the chances are that your own views would be in the direction of those of your friends. This must be considered seriously to avoid intimacy with anyone who would endanger your religious convictions. You must choose your friends carefully.
A wise choice of friends is a precaution you must take to ensure pleasant comradeships for the present and good reputation for the future. A person, young or old, shares the reputation of his friends, therefore, if you keep company with a person of questionable character or reputation, it will be assumed that you are of the same type. This is what they say, “birds of the same feather flock together”.
But if your companions have high standards, you will be given credit for that.
During one’s early teens, his close friendships are with his or her age group, but as he or she becomes older, he seeks the opportunity to become acquainted with people of his age or younger ones in terms of making a girl friend. A young woman who prizes her good name or reputation will want to be sure before accepting a man’s friendship, that the man is also a person of high ideals.
Earlier choice of friends determines the type of persons that will later be attracted to you as a friend and it is possible that many of one’s companions of future years will be selected from among their acquaintances of the teens, which is the more reason one has to give serious attention to the type of friends he makes. As an individual you have as much responsibility to your friends just as they have to you.
A close friendship involves many pleasures and also many responsibilities which will bring much more satisfaction in the long run when used as a means of encouraging others toward high ideals and lofty ambitions. You must not expect your friends always to come to your rescue or help and carry the responsibility for your welfare. You also owe as much to them as they do to you.
Shedie Okpara
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
