Women
Rules Of Parenting
For any project to become successful, there are rules that need be adhered to. Same goes with child upbringing. Many homes today celebrate their chldren where others bemoan theirs. The difference lies predominantly in the parenting styles.
For parents to achieve their expectations from their children, the following rules must not be toiled with.
You shall have no other interests beside your children.
“Children are a heritage from the Lord”, thus says the bible. And when these children come into the home, they should take their rightful place. It is unfortunate that many times our interest and work schedules keep us very busy that our children are often times crowded out. If you are going to catch fish, you go where the fish are. And that is true when it comes to leading and parenting children. If you are going to be an effective leader (parent) who will influence the outcome of children, you need to be where the children are. Be where the action is. Why it is important to be where the children are:-
It helps you to know your strong points. It helps you know your limitations. It helps you to be creative. It gives you chance to learn and improve on your weak areas. It empowers you to look for help. And such help could include experienced godly people, children’s media materials, seminars, and any other material or activity which will help you overcome or improve on your limitation.
You will begin to understand the meaning of the jargon used by children.
You begin to see things from the level of children. Many times we assume children see things the way we do. This is a wrong assumption.
You will be a practical and not a theoretical parent. You customize solutions based on the problems your children are experiencing. You will be scratching where it is itching.
You shall not make for yourself any idol that detracts your attention from your children.
Many times as teachers and parents, we act as if we have the whole future to train children. We should realize that these kids are just passing through our homes and classes and therefore, urgency should be our watch word.
By age 10, 50% of the adult attention span is achieved. And again by age 10, the value system of a child is established and will be perfected during the rest of his/her growing years.
“The foundation of a child is laid in the first three years of the child’s life. And it is during these years that parents need to bend the tiny twig” (Ellen White in Child Guidance pages 193-195).
Remember, Amram and Jochebed had only 12 years to train Moses. Several idols detract us from attending to children namely; Work: The Greek philosopher Socrates once said: “Could I climb to the highest place in Athens, I would lift my voice and proclaim, fellow citizens, why do you turn and scrape every stone to gather wealth and take so little care of your children to whom one day you must relinquish it all?” Visitors and friends, amusements, such as TV (watching sports, news). Radio, Websites, reading, and etc, are all distractors.
It is important as parents and caregivers, we learn a lesson from farmers and builders. Farmers know that if they are going to have a good harvest, they need to follow certain principles. And these include: planting at the tight time. Good weather. Planting together with fertilizer for most crops. Good soil, and the right amount of water.
Those who build houses know that if they are going to have a strong house, they need a strong and deep foundation. And usually the depth of the foundation is in relation to how high the house will rise. In most cases, they even study the composition of the soil.
We can liken good weather to the empowering home environment. Fertiliser can be likened to the general spiritual activities of the home and your Christian exemplary life.
The depth of the house foundation can be likened to the moral and academic upbringing of the child.
You shall not kill your children by neither destroying their self-esteem through your actions and words nor by being angry with them from morning till evening.
Remember that discipline is not punishing. You punish because you are concerned about yourself. You discipline because you want to build the child.
The strength of aero plane wings and high sky scrapers is not in their rigidness but rather in their flexibility. If they were rigid, they would snap and break. But wing’s flexibility helps them to navigate through rough winds when flying and for buildings, they are able to stand earth’s tremors and strong winds. So is discipline. Its not rigidness that is effective but firm flexibility.
Teach your child sex issues and decent dressing. In teaching children sex issues take into consideration their ages. If you don’t teach them they will get Hollywood views of sex. If you find it difficult, use a person whom you and your children respect. But that was to be don in your presence. Remember, to give sex information according to the age of your children and don’t tell them fables.
Do not steal your children’s childhood period by expecting them to behave in a manner that is beyond their developmental stage. Children will act according to their developmental stage – don’t give them tasks that are beyond there capabilities.
Don’t expose them to information that is beyond their age. This exposure could be through books, TV, Iyrics of some music, etc.
Don’t expect them to behave in church or other gatherings like a grown up (it is normal for them to fidget a little).
Don’t discuss controversies with them if they are too young and cannot understand and interpret issues in a mature manner. Let them enjoy their childhood. Allow them to develop and mature naturally.
Alozie writes for Heralds of Grace magazine.
Compiled by Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi with Report from Yetunde Alozie
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
