Opinion
Checking High Bride Price
Marriage is a sacrament which every couple is expected to obey as instituted by God. But today the reverse is the case, especially in African societies where most people violate this sacrament due to their selfish desires and sometimes, pressure from parents.
It is no longer news that in most African societies today, bride prices have gone so high that marriage ceremonies have become an economically viable venture. As such, most poor young men have remained unmarried until they get so old. Yet, the rich young ones easily get wives to marry because they are buoyant enough to lavish money.
Although many leaders recognise this in Nigeria, especially in the southern part of the country, they are afraid to talk about it. This is mainly because they fear how the society would react. The fact is that whether high dowries are paid on brides or not, there is no marriage all over the world that would enjoy stability if Christ is not its pillar, and the anchor that those who make the contract rely on. Those who have accepted Jesus as their personal saviour also enjoy His spirit of love in their marriages. And there are a lot of testimonies to this effect. This is why most couples are able to stay till death do them part.
Talking about high bride prices in this society, the ability to haggle and bargain has an unhappy angle associated with the process itself. You can agree with me that in every marriage, there is some selfish human heart that comes into play. If not, how can a man pay well over N100,000 for a lady, and another pays as little as N200 and sometimes, no cash deposit to bring a wife under his roof?
However, because the game has become an expensive and dicey one, many young men have been frustrated and defeated, and most end up eloping with their heartthrobs as wives. But as long as the customs of the land remain, eloping with a lady boils down to immorality, which may not be the direct sin of the man in question.
In fact, numerous cases abound where men eloped with their girlfriends, and began to live together as husband and wife. They are, in most cases, blessed with children, even in the midst of illegality. They ignore the parents of the woman or man, and go into their own procreation process.
But the unfortunate thing is that sometimes the problem associated with that strategy is that if the woman dies in the man’s house, the parents of the deceased are likely to demand that the man marries the woman even in death, sometimes at very exorbitant prices. In fact, a lot of things may be lined up as requirements for the marriage of the dead woman. In some other cases, the children produced in that marriage are classified as bastards or children of the woman’s father until the man does the right thing, that is to pay her bride price.
I think as long as mankind lives on earth, high bride prices never make husbands price their wives (like property) better. Instead, there are reported cases of men who have treated their wives as slaves because of the huge sum of money spent as bride price. Methinks that if young men are able to prove to their supposed parents in-law that they can love and hold their daughters, this should be enough dowry than paying fabulous amounts of money that do not equate true love.
The high dowry on women has disadvantages on the bride too. Many women have confessed openly that high bride prices have compelled their real husbands out of the work contest, leaving unlovable wealthy men available in the market. The result is an unnecessary joining of incompatible couples because money has become the name of the game.
High dowries make women slaves as most of them remain unhappy in their marriages. Perhaps, they just stay to satisfy the man who has spent so much on them. The consequence of this is that a wide gap exists for infidelity, and a display of fake and smokescreen love, which is far from being genuine.
This is not to say that those with low income have not married wives. No! On the contrary, some have actually found themselves wives, and they lived as happy couples for decades. But we have also heard stories where men go on to borrow huge amounts of money just to get married. In a situation like this, such couples are forced to go through terrible and agonising marriages.
In perspective, it has been imperative that high bride prices are no guarantees to long, stable and well-enjoyed marriages. High bride prices only help to force men who are not rich into borrowing, thereby putting men with such financial crisis into slavery while the women are boxed into a corner, with little or no choice than to settle for men with the money. In the end, such women look more like the men’s personal properties.
It is high time the state government or better still, local government councils fixed equal amount to be paid as dowry for all women. Although this suggestion may sound primitive, I think it is workable and the right path to toe. This can be done by encouraging would-be husbands to go to their local governments to pay for their wives. This action should attract receipts, and such monies should later be handed over to parents of the brides.
If all Nigerians go to the same markets, schools, workplaces, among others, then I do not see any reason why bride prices should vary. And until this is done, women will ever suffer, and men without money will remain unmarried.
Etim writes from Port Harcourt.
Sintrials Etim
Before the Saturday, October 5, Local Government Council Election to midwife the rebirth of elected Local Government administrations in Rivers State, it was hard on me to believe that general elections can hold in Nigeria without the Nigerian Police and other statutory security organisations’ participation to provide security. So when the Abuja High Court restrained the Nigerian Police from giving security for a seamless, hitch-free election processes, I was startled on the security of election materials, adhoc staff of the Rivers State Independent Electoral Commission (RSIEC) and the voters, even though legal luminaries posit that it is not within the ambit of Federal courts to legislate on Local Government matters. Many people thought that the Inspector-General of Police’s decision to promptly obey judicial orders would either truncate the process or trigger voter apathy.
However, the outcome: violence-free, massive participation of voters even the participation of those who confessed that they had not exercised their franchise in the last 24 years of Nigeria democratic dispensation, does not only prove me wrong but also speak volumes of a people yearning for self determination at the grassroots. It also shows that the time of a marked departure from the ugly, repressive and dictatorial past has inevitably come to an end. It underscores the emergence of a new political order and structure that are the prerogative of the people and a function of legitimacy from the people, not a structure that is a product of a coercive, repressive , and other measures that negate democratic values and norms. For once, Rivers people have sent a message that they remain a distinct political entity with the right to decide who leads them.
The people of Rivers State, from the Ikwerres, the Kalabaris, Etches, Ndonis, Wakirikes, Andonis, the Ekpeyes, Ogonis, Abuans and several other micro ethnic and language people as a resilient and brave people have gained consciousness to dislodge the human instrument that perpetrates oppression even as Karl Marx said, “It is only when people are conscious of the fact that they are oppressed can they rise to dislodge the instrument that makes the oppression possible”. The October 5, Local Government Election, shows that despite its ethnic and language diversity Rivers State is homogeneous, united in corporate interest and goal. Rivers people have proven that general election without the presence of Nigerian Police is possible. Some voters have also alleged that considering the peaceful election achieved without the presence of Nigerian Police, the crisis-ridden elections in Nigeria may have been the architecture of the Police. Some believe that their presence poses a discomfort to voters and an uneasy calm in voting environment.
Now that it is possible to conduct elections without them the Federal and Sub- national electoral bodies can reduce cost of conducting elections. The huge budget allocated to security for election purposes presupposes waste, so can be channeled to other critical sectors. This laudable achievement-a peaceful election without Nigerian Police would have been elusive without the peaceful, mentally and emotionally matured, God-fearing disposition and Rivers First mantra of the Executive Governor, Siminalayi Fubara. The Governor’s passion for peace and development even amid provocative and inciting statements by detractors and enemies of Rivers State, has endeared him to the people and whittled down the influence and relevance of the opposition in Rivers State. It is not gainsaying the fact that in recent times, the Nigerian Police has flagrantly violated professional, ethical and moral standards.
The high command seems to have sacrificed their statutory obligations to the people on a whim for personal relationships and filthy lucre. They seem to have allowed pecuniary gains to dull and cloud their sense of reasoning and their primary statutory responsibilities of crime detection and prevention, protection of lives and property. The occupation of Local Government Council Secretariats in the 23 Local Government Areas of Rivers State by the Nigeria Police, preventing Caretaker Committees and staff of Local Government councils to access their offices to carry out legitimate duties when States with caretaker administrations functioned without Police interference, is a dent on the credibility and integrity of the Nigerian Police. At the wake of the political upheaval in Rivers State, the Executive Governor of the State, Sir Siminalayi Fubara, received his dose of the rascality of some men of the Nigerian Police. Canisters of water were shot at the Governor as gleaned from viral videos and other media outfits.
How could the Nigerian Police have descended so low to derecognise the Executive Governor who is the Chief Security Officer of Rivers State? What came on them to compromise their duties to the people and Government of Rivers State? How on earth could they have deemed serving the interest of one man in Abuja is paramount and transcends that of the generality of Rivers people? The Nigerian Police by their inactions and untoward activities in Rivers State, tried to convey a false assumption that there are two Governors in Rivers State. This animosity on the state lends support for the quest for and against State Police. A State Police formation will be necessary, Purpose-driven and effective under a cool-headed, humane, objective and listening governor like Governor Fubara. However, a State Police in control of the opposition in Rivers will be the German Nazis – an instrument of torture, oppression, and autocratic governance.
The Nigerian Police should be and be seen to be professional, neutral, non- partisan, conscientious and sagacious in their conduct, if they must earn the respect of the people. The Nigerian Police and the Judiciary should resist the allures of being used as anti-democratic institutions to truncate Nigeria’s hard-earned democracy. No doubt every profession has its hazards. If the challenges of a profession do not allow a person to uphold integrity and ethical standards, it is better to quit the job. It is honourable to die for what you know is right than living for the shadow, and the mundane. When money and wealth are lost, nothing is lost but when integrity is lost everything is lost.
Igbiki Benibo
That President Ahmed Bola Tinubu plans to reshuffle his cabinet is no more any secrets. Before now many notable Nigerians, civil society groups, socio-cultural bodies and even Mr President’s party, the All Progressives Congress (APC), have called on the president to weed-out non-performing officials from his government in the face of worsening hardships engendered by poorly conceived and implemented federal government policies. Mr President had himself hinted at heeding the calls when he warned that top government officials whose periodic performance reports turn out poor would be dropped from his government. “If you are performing, nothing to fear. If you miss the objective, we’ll review it. If no performance, you leave us. No one is an island and the buck stops on my desk,” President Tinubu had warned cabinet members and other top government officials, during a three-day retreat last November. Since then, a Central Delivery Coordination Unit headed by Presidential Special Adviser on Policy Coordination, Hadiza Bala-Usman, has been established to receive ministerial reports and measure performances. But while the criteria for performance verification and rating remain unknown, no publication has been made by the unit since its inception.
Nearly a year after inauguration, Tinubu’s cabinet remains the same in the face of worsening state of affairs, except for the suspension early this year, of Humanitarian Affairs and Poverty Alleviation Minister, Dr Betta Edu, following a financial scandal that so embarrassed the administration. Many had long expected far-reaching measures from President Tinubu to reverse the worsening economic hardships in the country. However, after rising unrests culminated into major nation-wide protests in August, and another billed for October, grapevine sources inside the presidency revealed frantic considerations of the calls for cabinet change. But would Mr President play to the gallery by appearing to yield to popular demands, or has he finally reckoned that rising poverty is pushing the nation towards breaking points, hence the need to re-tool? As lofty as the ‘Renewed Hope Agenda’ sounded, to many ordinary Nigerians, the reality of the mantra is nothing but abysmal failures.
But having dragged for months, it appears the supposed tonic of cabinet reshuffle poses a hard nut to crack for Mr President, which had set herculean tasks for presidential aides to continuously deny the hushed effort, until presidential spokesperson, Mr Bayo Onanuga, finally acquiesced to the veracity of the rumours. Ever since, the whirling vortex of rumours shifted from it being a possibility, to how soon it comes, much as speculations now brew on who makes or has made the new list, and who gets or got dropped from the current. Intense lobbies said to have been mounted at the presidency may have caused Mr President so much distractions to force him scamper abroad with the unfinished list, on a pretext of going on vacations. The inability of Mr President to make swift changes that quickly respond to urgent challenges reflects the complexity of our system and how sourcing for trusted technocrats, contending with vested interests and the need for political balance, may hamstring a government’s ability to maneuver through troubled times.
It is note-worthy however, that lasting solutions to many of Nigeria’s problems lie much not in cabinet make-ups than in corruption and the lack of sincere, political will to getting problems solved, which situates Mr President at the centre of blames for much of our nation’s current woes. For instance, if Mr President is determined at tackling Nigeria’s major economic failures of recent past, the first consideration should be to critically review the declining performance of the ministry of petroleum resources, which serially became lacklustre since the portfolio got vested on Mr President’s office since from the time of President Mohammadu Buhari in 2007. With the sole heartbeat of Nigeria’s mono-economy entrapped at the very busy office of Mr President, who has no time to over-see the day-to-day affairs of the petroleum sector, yet is so immuned to accountability summons, no one should wonder why the petroleum industry, as well as the Nigerian economy, has degenerated ever since. Coupled with general insecurity, the decline in official petroleum production data since then led to dwindling foriegn exchange, ballooning official debts and the current general inflation.
As for the performance of the ministry of defence, whose past lapses led to the destabilisation of Nigeria’s agricultural sector by bandits, the current momentum at last, against terrorism and banditry, looks encouraging. But while it is worrisome that sources reveal that some saboteurs who fraternise with terrorists also seat in our nation’s high offices, the direct accusation by a sitting governor against no smaller personality than the current minister of state for defence, is an alarm that should not be neglected. Even as the accused denies and reverses the accusation, government should beware that the presence of such controversial figures is a burden to the image of government. Mr President also needs to take serious reviews at the performance short-comings of our nation’s ministry of interior which over-sees law enforcement and compliance establishments. Bedevilled by corruption, inadequate financing and institutional weaknesses, some of these institutions fall short of expectations and reportedly bow most times, to the whims of corruption. The current Bobrisky saga for instance, has put the Nigerian Correctional Services and the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission in gloom spotlight, and reflects how badly our institutions may have been compromised.
It is advisable however, that the move to scrap the Humanitarian Affairs Ministry may not be good for ordinary Nigerians who pass through the harshest consequences of the policies of this administration. Even if the ministry faces distrust from many due to years of non-transparent distribution of reliefs worth billions, and from which so many vulnerable Nigerians did not get a dime, Nigerians still desperately in need of bail-outs would prefer a disciplined and better managed public welfare ministry. The current situation in the country requires the collective concentration of all to ensure full recovery. The president should therefore beware of cabinet members who would let themselves be drawn to divisive political grand-standings that not only drain energies needed to restore the economy, but distract the focus of his government at tackling pressing challenges.
So, as Nigeria and Nigerians await President Tinubu reshuffle his cards for another chance at good governance, history beckons on him to set name and good marks, in gold.
Joseph Nwankwor
Over the years, the remarks of Konrad Adenuar, (January 6, 1876 – April 1967), a former Chancellor of Western Germany, that ”in view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He (God) did not also limit his stupidity”, has continued to agitate the minds of critics including public affairs analysts. This comment, which put succinctly, highlights God’s unfairness for supposedly setting definite limit on man’s wisdom (intelligence) but failed to set the same limit on man’s stupidity, has attracted wide spread condemnations from different sects; christians and non christians alike. Similarly, some critics, largely writers, hold the sentiment that society should not concentrate on juvenile delinquency alone but should also be concerned about what some identified as “adult delinquencies” since societal ills,grievious misdemeanors are traceable to adults, some of whom are leaders of thoughts occuping high offices.
Nigeria is replete with gutter Languages in public spaces deserving of concern and attention. One classic example is the recent outburst of Senator Adams Oshomhole, a former Governor of Edo State. It would be recalled that Senator Adams Oshomhole referred to the wife of the Governor of Edo State, Mrs Betsy Obaseki, as a barren woman.Truly, it could be said that Mrs Betsy Obaseki stoc the crisis when she referred to the governorship aspirant of All Progressive Congress (APC) Monday Okpebholo, as a man without a wife. Political campaigns should be undertaken or conducted to discuss issues and not insults to enable the electorate choose a credible leader who can provide solutions to societal challenges. No doubt, it is regrettable that a former labour leader, governor and now a serving Senator, Adams Aliya Oshomhole, considered as highly experienced to exhibit civility, maturity and superior acumen in a challenging situation such as this, particularly when viewed against the backdrop that the comrade- senator was not speaking at a political rally ground.
Recently, the West, particularly Europe, is returning artefacts stolen from ancient Benin Kingdom more than a century and thirty years ago which politicians can discuss with respect to diversifying the economy as well as provide solutions to numerous difficulties facing Edo State and Nigeria at large.Worse still, can any parent boast of having or rearing children by his or her self as to scorn an expectant family?. In the same way, the German statesman Konrad Adenuar cited above once noted: “History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided”. For instance, the former governor of Kaduna State, Nasiru El-Rufai, once told foreign powers planning to interfere into the 2019 general election to jettison the plan otherwise they would leave in body bags.’Body Bag!’.
The expression “leave in body bags”, is not befitting of a serving governor in all ramifications. As if that was not enough, the current Senate President and former Governor of Akwa Ibom State Senator Godswill Akpabio, referred to the contribution of a fellow law maker Natasha Akpoti Uduaghau as a “Night Club Comment”.This was another sad commentary and bad public communication made by a public office holder of equal ranking with a fellow colleague, because all senators are equal and therefore, the remarks by Senator Akpabio was regrettable even though he had apologized for his unfortunate outburst. Denigration of any sort should not be an option in pilloring the women folk in public places.
In fact, elder statesman, Pa. Edwin Clark, recently called on the Inspector of Police and President Tinubu to arrest the minister of Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Chief Nyesom Wike, for saying he (Wike ) will put fire in the states of PDP governors and officials who want to interfer with his political structures in Rivers State.To put fire is ambiquous and has frightening implications. The Bible is apt and ever correct when in proverbs 15:1 noted that “Soft answer turns away wrath but grievous words stir up anger”. The remarks cited above traceable to public officials and leaders in public spaces show pride, selfishness, arrogance and are capable of igniting crisis, if not nibbed in the bud. In addition to the provision of infrastructure, elected leaders must learn the acts of engaging in public communication, speaking life and not hate speach to build society for the better.Jesus Christ speaks in John 6:63 thus: “The words I speak they are Life and Spirit”.
It is instructive to observe that before David killed Goliath in it is recorded in 1st Samuel Chapter 17:24 – 45, that Goliath was very insultive, boastful, denigrating the army of Israel at the battle field before a non-soldier in the person of David over powered him- Goliath. Pride, they say, goes before the fall of man. This is why leaders in positions of trust should retrace their steps and be mindful of the words they speak and transmit in communicating with the electorate,fellow polititicians or their party members to engender peace in the polity and promote peaceful co-existence in Rivers State and Nigeria at large. The time to act is now.
Baridorn Sika
Sika, is a public affairs analyst.