Social/Kiddies
Parenting And Adolescent Development
Next week, the attention of the world would focus on adolescents as the world will be marking the annual International Adolesence Week. A week dedicated for young people, their health, care providers, their teachers, their parents, their advocates and their communities to come together and celebrate with the ultimate goal of working out ways to improve healthy development, health safety and wellbeing of adolescents and young people.
The week which starts from 20th to 26th March, 2022 has its theme: “Transitions” from childhood to adulthood, physically and mentally from a pre-pandemic life into a life from dependence to independence.
It is important to begin to understand how to take care of children who are transiting to adolescents. The role of parents in the transition stage is very important. The parents apart from meeting the child’s basic needs of medical care, housing, education and food must in addition meet the child’s emotional and physical needs. Also, the parents are to provide encouragement, support and access to activities that would enable the child to master key developmental tasks.
The Rivers State Government in line with the global Adolescents Health Week celebration has planned activities to
celebrate the week with young people and parents.
According to the Adolescent Desk Officer of the State Ministry of Health, Wokoma Mbreba, activities planned would include organising an Adolescent and Youth Forum as well as a Parental Conference on the 21st and 24th of March, 2022 respectively.
Parenting can be the most rewarding work of adult life. Nothing brings more joy and pride than a happy, productive and loving child. However, each age and stage of child’s development has specific goals and tasks. For infants, it is to eat sleep and explore their world while for adolescents, it is to become their own person with their own group of friends.
Subsequently, adolescents need many skills in order to successfully achieve their goal of increased independence since some adolescents do not make this transition smoothly. Their movement toward independence can cause stress and grief for parents and families.
Meanwhile, some aspects of this rough transition are normal and while stressful should not alarm parents.
Starting early is the best way for parents to prepare for their child’s adolescence. Parents can prepare themselves and their child for a smoother transition and greater success in achieving the tasks of adolescent development by providing a stable, safe and living home environment. They can also create an atmosphere of honesty, mutual trust and respect with a culture of open communication at family meal times.
Developing a relationship that encourages your child to talk to you is important. Teaching responsibility for their belongings and yours, responsibility for household chores, the importance of accepting limits and the importance of thinking before acting are also ways that parents can utilize.
Though these are complex processes which would occur gradually and start during infancy, a teenager’s adolescent years will be less stressful when parents and child have worked together on the tasks throughout the child’s earlier development.
The ability to talk openly about problems is one of the most important aspects of the parent and child relationship. Developing this relationship and open communication takes time, persistence and understanding. The relationship develops gradually by spending time with their adolescents as schedules with afterschool activities, sports and jobs become busy during adolescent years.
Family meal times, sharing stories of parent’s adolescent outings, vacations and celebrations are important opportunities for parents to spend time with their adolescents. Parent should also try to spend some individual time with each child praising positive behaviours and talking about difficult or upsetting things. This relationship creates the foundation for talking with the child when struggles and conflicts emerge during adolescence.
For this year’s celebrations people for all ages are invited to enter a Transition College contest hosted by France. This international contest less than 25 and above or any team, create a visual representation of what “Transition “ means to you. It can be in any form of drawing, photographs, words or anything that you can display virtually. There are no limits. Your creation must be in jpg format to be submitted between 7-18 March 2022. Also complete the contest form, Scan and take a photo of your form in English, email your creation and contest form to info@internationaladolescenthealthweek.org by 18 March 2022.
By: Ibinabo Ogolo
It is the idea of God that family should exit. Children form part of the family. God loves family so much that Jesus was born into the family of Joseph.
Everyone’s family is good and important. Children should not look down on their family whether they are rich or poor.
Children should respect and honour their family and foster love among their siblings. They should work together and make peace in the family. They should always stand in the gap. It is good for family members to carry all along since everyone may not be doing well.
The Christianity that children learn is practised in family. Faith-based organisations do a great job in moulding children’s character. Those are the behaviours that children exhibit towards siblings in family.
Every child born in a family is there for a purpose. A baby born into a family is supplying something. It may be joy, wealth and so on. Everyone is important in a family.
Adolescents who have graduated from school but may not be contributing financially can do one or two things at home. You can engage in preparing meals at home while parents are away for a job or business. Contributing in house chores will go a long way to relieve parents of stress after a day’s job.
What do you contribute to your family, especially during holidays both in nuclear and extended family?
The family you were born is constant but friends are temporary. You can decide not to continue in friendship but you cannot cut off your family. No matter how bad you think your family is and you decide to leave home, you must surely return. Your friends can harbour you for a while.
The child’s first identity comes from the family. What the child learns first comes from the family.
Family is the centre of love and care. People have started playing down on marriage because of neglect on basics of family. Marriage starts today and and the next few months, it is threatened. Respect for family plays a crucial role in marriage.
No child grows without parental control and influence. If a child refuses to grow without taking instructions from parents, he may grow up being wild. There are consequences when children do not obey their parents. There are those who want to be rebellious against their parents. They should know that their length of days are tied to their parents.
Your bioligical parents know you more than every other person. There is the wisdom and knowledge your parents have that you do not so it is proper to listen to them before choosing carriers both in academics and job. A young man or woman can choose who to get married to, but a greater role in the choice of who to marry and the marriage proper comes from the parents.
They know what is best for you. No matter how modern trends will influence you and prove it wrong, parent is the key. No one can love you more than your parents because they are your blood.
A lot of parents have been traumatised due to the fact that children they nurtured and trained turned their back on them at older age. Children should not abandon their parents for any reason.
As you grow up, situations may arise in marriage when you decide it is over with your spouse, but no matter the level of provocation with your parents, they will not despise you. Parents will also play a role in that regard. Problem arises in every family but how it is handled matters a lot.
Some children honour their mentors more than their parents. Although there are parents who shy away from their responsibilities. It is important that parents take full responsibility of their children. You cannot bring a child to the planet earth and refuse to perform roles as a parent. But parents may not quantify what they spent from childhood to adolescence. That is a blessing children cannot get from another person.
There are people who have attributed their failure in life to the fact that their parents, especially mothers are witchcraft. It is wrong to feel that your mother is instrumental to your failure in life. The only way to success is hardwork.
Let money not determine the level of love for your parents. Wherever a child goes, family is constant.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
Naturally, when a child is born, it is the role of the father and mother to decide a suitable name for the child. The husband and wife normally discuss and suggest the English or vernacular name of the baby.
But sometimes, when a baby comes into a family, grandparents hearts are usually filled with joy to the extent that they want to answer present, by giving their own names not minding the fact that the biological parents have given theirs.
This happens mostly when the marriage is an inter-tribal one. It also happens even in intra-tribal marriage. Grandparents want equal representation as far as naming a child is concerned. They also have special names as a result of circumstances surrounding the birth of the child.
This is still happening till date.
A lot of people have viewed this in different ways but there is nothing wrong about it. The most important thing is that the child bears as many names as he or she can. But one thing is certain, the child must bear one name in school.
Should circumstance determine a child’s name?
Women who are more emotional are always eager to name their children considering the circumstances surrounding the child’s conception and arrival.
The issue of grandparents naming a child comes up mostly when it is the first of the family.
In naming children by some parents in the olden days, they named their children according to the days in the week in which they were born, like Sunday, Monday, Friday and so on.
You may be shocked to hear that whether a child is given 10 names by parents or grandparents, when he or she grows up, will decide to change. There are several cases where some persons decided to change especially when they feel that the names given by their parents and grandparents do not give them joy. If they are not doing well in life, they may claim that their misfortune is caused by the name their parents.
Competition among children in schools be it primary, (kindergarten) and secondary come in different forms. It can be Mathematics , debate, quiz, spelling bee,competition, from organisations like Cowbell, multi-national companies, faith-based organisations among others.
They are organised mostly for selected intelligent ones, the best among their peers to represent a class, school or group. Prizes are normally set aside for the best as well as consolation prizes for runners-up at the end of each session.
The question is, are children willing to accept defeat when they fail? As parents, guardians, can you encourage your children or wards to accept defeat instead of shouting and comparing them with others who may be performing better either in schools or outside.
Some parents may be blaming their children for not doing well in competitions. They will like to tell their children if others who may perform better have ten heads. Those group of parents blame their children for every failure.
For your children to do better in competition, the parents too must have emotional intelligence. When you continue to blame your children for failure, how intelligent are you?
Some parents always want their children to be in the 1st position and unhappy whenever they secure 2nd position. There were instances where children smashed their trophies because they never got the position they wanted to get and their parents supported them.
Children should be able to accept it whether they win or not. They should be encouraged for every performance. Discourage the issue of “shame, shame, shame, shame”.
A parent says she always tells her children to win even if they will fail. Always give them the mentality that they can win. Children should be given the impression that they can win prizes and laurels in every competition.
Parents should not isolate their children from others in the neighbourhood. Allow them to play with others. Don’t threaten your children that you may not pay their schools fees if they fail. Comparing them with others may encourage or discourage them.
Coming first or getting award as a first class student from the university sometimes does not mean that the person is the best. And if the child does not merit any award in the lower classes, does not mean that he can not merit first class also.
It should be noted that coming first in academic competition may not really mean that the competitor will be the best at work place or business.
Accepting defeat is a way to move higher. Even if a child who competed with others did not come first, there are consolation prizes for runners-up. When you advise the child to accept defeat, you are encouraging her to win in next competition.
Remember all children cannot be on the same knowledge level Their learning abilities defer.
Eunice Choko-Kayode