Women
Factors Couples Should Consider Before Having Children
Lately and sadly, some women have formed the habit of killing and maiming both their biological and adopted children. Sometimes, they use rat poisoning and other harmful substances on the children.
Hardly any day passes without hearing that a mother has allegedly carried out such ugly act on a child. Sometimes they use hot water, grounded hot pepper, mutter pestle and all manner of clubs on children.
Some of the reasons range from psychological, emotional, financial and many other factors. No matter how difficult family matters can be, they can be sorted out without hurting the children. It should be condemned that a woman will be so wicked to kill a child she carried for nine months.
This issue concerns women the more so they should have the number of children they can cater for. They should also ensure that they have children with men who will cater for the same children. Women should not have children for the fun of it.
In some local villages, you see a young woman of 20 to 25 years being proud of having even two children outside wedlock. She will go about boasting when some young women are still preparing to go into marriage even at 30.
It will be surprising to note that she does not have or cannot hold any man responsible for those children.
During solemnization of marriages between couples, one of the issues that is always prayed for is having of children as soon as they are joined in Holy matrimony. ‘Your children shall surround your table. You shall see your children’s children and so on’. The church, family and friends expect that after nine months of marriage, the couple is expected to invite the same people for churching of women and dedication of a baby.
Of course, that’s the joy of every family. Any family that does not get a child after a few years of marriage is not always happy. As a woman after marriage, you get some jokes reminding you that in the next one year, pepper soup and the likes should be expected. So, its normal.
When children come, should they be punished for any little provocation? When some women have emotional and psychological problems, they vent their angers on children.
Couples should know the number of children to have. There should be mental readiness. In the case of single motherhood, the woman should be ready to shoulder such responsibility. The case of going into the world to multiply should be ruled out.
It is worrisome to hear that a woman killed her two children because her husband refused to keep money for feeding. Definitely she is the one to lose after going through the pains of child birth.
A lot of factors should be considered by couples such as mental health. The two should be mentally fit before giving birth to children.
Financial capability is very important. You cannot have children you cannot feed. Money must available to run the affairs of the home especially with the high standard of living. Financial adjustments have to be made for couples to tackle family challenges.
There has to be mutual understanding between the man and wife in things that concern the children.
Couples should be ready to carry the responsibility because children come with a lot of responsibilities and accommodation is very necessary.
Some women give birth and subject their children to child labour and send some out as housemaids. Before deciding to have children, there should be thorough thinking. You could have had children when things were going well, but when things begin to go bad, a lot of counselling should come in.
There must be a budget plan for the family. The environment has to be conducive. The issue of genotype is very important so as to avoid having children with sickle cell anaemia (SS). This can be so frustrating to parents. Psychological evaluation must be carried out by couples before marriage.
Economic factors such as Joblessness on one parent to complement each other in contributing to the family. Educational factors must be considered because the children must go to school.
Women should work on their temperament knowing that children can annoy their parents. Providing for the child and being there for the child when he or she needs you is very important. Sometimes when children do not get what want, they tend to be stubborn. But mothers should know how to handle such situations when they arise.
Let’s assume that some factors were considered by couples before marriage on how many children they should have, paradventure things began to go bad, couples can make amendments.
The consideration for support system is a factor that should not be left out in marriage. If anything happens, who do you leave your child for?
People should not have babies when they are not ready. Do not have a child with someone who is not psychologically ready. Women should not endanger the lives of children any longer. One thing is having children and another is catering for them.
One should not have children because others are having and at the end of the day, in the course of little provocation, the child’s life is cut short.
Children did not bring themselves to the planet earth. They were given birth to by man and woman, whether married or unmarried. No amount of provocation should make a woman kill either her biological or foster child.
Women should have the number of children they can cater for in case difficult situations arise.
By: Eunice Choko-Kayode
IVY-K Fashion by Igiebor Daddy Lucky, a Nigerian-born designer now based in the UK, has launched the latest menswear line, Dapper Man.
One of the collection’s strengths is its classic, clean aesthetic. Dapper Man delivers sharp, structured suits in a timeless black and white color scheme that exudes a sense of luxury and professionalism. The use of high-quality fabrics like wool and silk ensures that the suits not only look high-end but also feel luxurious to the wearer. The designer’s focus on detail is evident in the meticulous tailoring, with fitted blazers and crisp trousers forming the foundation of the collection.
Where IVY-K Fashion shines is in the subtle yet elegant touches. The inclusion of beads as embellishments on lapels and cuffs adds a unique flair, blending traditional craft with modern tailoring. This nod to African heritage gives the collection a distinct identity, offering something more personal and culturally significant than your standard menswear line.
However, despite the elegance of the Dapper Man collection, there is a lingering sense of missed opportunity. The black-and-white color palette, while classic, feels overly safe. In a fashion landscape where bold colors and daring patterns often make the strongest impact, the collection could benefit from incorporating more vibrant hues or experimenting with unconventional fabrics. Pushing the envelope with color or texture could elevate these designs from simply elegant to truly memorable.
In addition, while the tailoring of the blazers and trousers is immaculate, the collection lacks a sense of playfulness or modern edge that many contemporary menswear lines are embracing. The suits are undoubtedly stylish, but the collection as a whole leans heavily on tradition. Experimenting with asymmetrical cuts, bold patterns, or even layering could add an exciting dimension to Dapper Man. The challenge is to maintain the sleek sophistication of the collection while infusing it with a fresh, innovative spirit.
Another area that could use improvement is the overall cohesion of the collection. While the suits are well-crafted, there is a feeling of repetition across the pieces. More variation in design, such as different lapel styles, pocket configurations, or even bolder accessories, would give the collection greater diversity and visual interest.
In conclusion, Dapper Man by Igiebor Daddy Lucky showcases the designer’s strong grasp of classic tailoring and elegant design, but to truly capture the attention of a broader audience, IVY-K Fashion would benefit from more daring choices. By infusing the collection with bold colors, unexpected textures, and a more modern edge, Dapper Man could move from a well-crafted line to a trendsetting force in men’s fashion. With such a solid foundation, there’s no doubt that Igiebor Daddy Lucky has the potential to lead his brand toward greater heights
The trend of indecent dressing all in the name of fashion is fast becoming a norm in our generation and society at large. Most married women embrace this fashion as competition with single ladies.
Different scholars have given an in depth insight about dressing as a tool of communication. Non-verbal communication has been asserted as the communication between people by the means of signs or symbols. It conveys what we wish to disseminate to the public as either intentionally or not.
According to Paul Ekman and Michael Argyle, communication is carried out through what has been classified as “Presentational Code”. He listed nine codes of non-verbal communication, as body contact, facial expression, gestures, postures, eye movement, proximity, orientation, head nods and appearance.
This, being stated, married and single ladies should understand that their mode of dressing is communicative be it directly or indirectly as such body parts we call “private” are now being made public because of the trends or wearing of transparent dresses and this in turn calls on the attention of men who are weak and prone to illicit thoughts thus, resulting to most rape cases in our society.
This indecent dressing by most ladies has denied many their future husbands. The truth is that a man is attracted to his kind; his desires in marriage. It is often asserted that decency and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, yet, in trending times of this 21st century, dress code and fashion in nudity form is gaining popularity.
This has become complicated as most men tend to toggle between their emotions (lust) and sanity (rationality) in terms of marriage, thereby setting a wrong foundation upon which most marriages are consummated.
On the other hand, most married women have embraced the trend of indecent dressing nipping it on the state of it being the choice dressing, approved by their spouses, leaving society with the question of what “responsible” man would prefer that the secrecy of the benefit of his marital vow has become the centre of attraction and viewership by the general public.
Hence, communicating with their dressing gas given licence to every male gender who is interested or attracted to what they see to make unsolicited sexual passes at them, which might be considered embarrassing.
At this juncture, it is important to state that ladies should dress decently knowing that they are the epitome of nation-building, they are nation-builders, character moulders and pacesetters not just in the lives of their families but to the society at large.
In most occasions, there are no clear border lines between the married women and the single ladies because of the rate of scanty dressing which has close the gap of differences.
Women and girls should embrace this call awakening to decent mode of dressing. Dresses that are meant to be worn indoors should remain indoors.
It is worrisome to see ladies wear shorts that are supposed to be worn in the living room on the streets without shame. This is an awakening call to our ladies, married and singles that the opposite sex do not expose their private body parts for the public. Sometimes, the ladies go about in the streets without wearing brazziers as to showcase their nipples.
The society should be sanitised of the menace of indecent dressing that is lurking and taking over the entire nooks and crannies of the society and the nation at large.
Let it be known that he or she is addressed in the manner he or she is dressed. There may be no room for a second impression. To the single ladies, your dressing decently will not stop you from meeting your Mr Right rather, it will increase your stake and place you on the list of most valued women in the society.
Dressing speaks louder than words.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha is an OND final year student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
