Opinion
Consequences Of High Bride Price
Bride price is payment made by a groom or his kin to the family of the bride in order to ratify a marriage. It is paid by the family of the groom to their future in-law at the start of the marriage usually in cash and materials.
Bride price in Nigeria varies from one ethnic group to another. What obtains as bride price in Rivers State may be different from Kogi State in terms of cash and materials required by the bride’s family. Although there are a few similarities in the list of items to be provided by the groom in Nigeria.
It also varies from family to family. Some families collect as low as N5,000 while others collect as high as N1,000,000.
There are criticisms that this African tradition of paying bride price to the bride’s family before marriage degrades a woman by putting a required monetary value on a wife.But those who support the tradition uphold it as a cherished cultural and religious symbol of marriage.
Some families see bride price as symbolic, hence they ask for less. I have seen a situation where the mother of the bride collected N30,000 and later gave it back to the couple, asking them to put it in their bank account so that it will serve as a “starter pack”. This shows that she was not really giving her out for money.
In our local setting, a marriage is recognised only when bride price and gift items have been presented to the bride’s family. It is important because it validates marriage to give a woman respectable status in the society as a wife.
The importance of bride price can never be over-emphasised. It is one of the highest honours confirming a bride’s value and womanhood, giving a husband the full rights to the economic and reproductive powers of his wife. It is an honour bestowed on the parents that their daughter is getting married.
I see nothing wrong in payment of bride price but in recent times, the issue of high bride price seems to be competitive among families whose daughters are ripe for marriage.It is alarming and heart-breaking how newly-wedded couples end up paying debts years after marriage. When demanding for high bride price, some parents do not realise the fact that the yet-to-be couple will plan for church and court (Registry). The Registry requires little token. Although, the clergy will not ask, but the couple need to settle one or two things in church.
More worrisome is the fact that some parents demand a live cow from an in-law as if the lady is to be exchanged. I know of a culture where cow must be provided to her kinsmen by the surviving husband or children before a late woman must be buried. The claim is that the man did not complete the marriage rites before the death if the woman. This is just to extort money from the late woman’s children.
A young man was mandated to pay about N2million to the wife’s kins after losing her during child birth, simply because he never completed marriage rites. What about the welfare of the surviving child?
A situation where a basin of fish that costs over N200,000 must be presented in the name of bride price for a traditional marriage to be contracted gave me concern.
A father also demanded about N1million as dowry for his daughter. For Christ’s sake, no amount of money collected as bride price can pay all the expenses from birth to University level of a lady as this is the dream of greater percentage of our parents nowadays. No amount of money can buy a woman. “Her value is inestimable”.
High bride price can cause disharmony between husband and his in-law. A young man was lamenting that after his marriage, his in-law can never be allowed into his family. This is as a result of whatever high bride price they would have charged.
High bride price can cause a man to exhibit violent behaviours when he remembers how much he paid. He gets angry at every little thing the wife does which can lead to domestic violence. The implication is that the woman will suffer in silence with the fear that the man may demand for the high bride price if she leaves the marriage.
Income from her job or personal business is seen by the man as his. She is being denied freedom on using her income and often leads to a situation where the husband must be consulted before any monetary transaction in her family. This leads to hostile marital environment and can destabilise the marriage.
Man dominates the woman in terms of decision-making. The woman has little say or nothing when issues come up in the home. He can say: “Do not talk, I paid heavily”.
One of the consequences of high bride price is that if perhaps divorce occurs, the bride and the family, according to customary norms, have to return the dowry. If the dowry were very expensive to the tune of N1million, they may not be able to pay back.
High bride price encourages gender inequality. It reduces the power and prestige of the woman with the perception that she was paid for.
High bride price leads to poverty. A couple may have been forced to incur debts in the course of marriage. These are young men and women who are starting life perhaps after graduation and have not made enough savings. Causing grooms to borrow and pay back huge debts incurred during weddings for two to three years should be discouraged.
For many young men, withdrawal syndrome sets in when they remember that they have to provide as much as N1million to marry a wife. You see someone going to marry at the age of 50 years because he did not have enough. Even the ladies are also affected here. Some men get scared of going into such families or ethnic groups for marriage. When will they train their children?
No matter the status of the groom, minimal amount should be fixed for dowry to avoid certain consequences in future. Family of the bride should take cognisance of the fact that their daughter deserves some comfort in her new home.
It is high time the traditional institutions worked through their subjects in the various communities to create awareness on the dangers of high bride price in our society.
Community heads who are saddled with the responsibility of marriage functions and rites should be advised to cut down some of the items and reduce the costs of available ones.
I call on local government councils to work with traditional rulers, community and family heads as well as women leaders to come out with minimum and maximum amount of money and other items needed as bride price and dowry.
It should be domesticated in the by-laws of the local councils across Nigeria.
By: Eunice Choko-Kayode
One of the critical problems confronting Nigeria today is the lack of recognition and appreciation of our tangible heritage, values, and norms – elements that are crucial for fostering social cohesion and responsibility. These values, which are inherently adaptive, can only be transmitted effectively through cultural education.Nigerian food Cultural education involves socialising individuals into the norms, values, and heritage of a given society through mediums such as folktales. Its primary intent is to nurture socially responsible and morally upright individuals who contribute positively to their community. In essence, cultural education is a learned behavioral pattern shared and transmitted from one generation to another. It encompasses customs, traditions, beliefs, arts, and philosophies of life. As Babs Fafunwa (1994) observed, every society, regardless of its size, has its unique ways of transmitting its cultural heritage.
Cultural education plays a vital role in shaping a child’s character and physical skills. Cultural education also has unique ways of instilling respect for elders and authority in the child. In addition, cultural education helps in developing intellectual abilities, fostering a sense of belonging, and promoting active participation in family and community affairs. This concept also cultivates a healthy attitude towards honest labour while it also helps to preserve the community’s cultural heritage. However, since Nigeria’s independence in 1960, the infiltration of foreign cultures, technological advancements, religious beliefs, and political systems have significantly helped in the erosion of the country’s social fabric. Today, Nigeria grapples with the loss of cultural values in more ways than one. The country also grapples with moral laxity among youths, violence, delinquent behaviours as well as the disruption of traditional political systems.
Beyond these, lack of cultural education has also triggered a decline in political will among the country’s citizenry. Thus, social issues such as sex abuse, prostitution, drug trafficking, kidnapping for ransom, internet fraud (which are more commonly known as 419); cybercrime, militancy, armed robbery, and examination malpractice have become rampant. However, these challenges can be mitigated through the promotion and sustenance of cultural education in Nigeria. Bringing cultural education forward in the country’s socio-political and economic systems would go a long way in redirecting the citizenry from the identified social ills. For instance, cultural socialization teaches children the proper ways to greet elders and interact respectfully. Observing parents during ceremonies are also a way to achieving this. Ceremonies such as weddings, child-naming, or funerals help children learn appropriate behaviour at such and sundry ceremonies, and decorum. Unfortunately, many youths today lack respect for elders and are antagonistic to cultural values. Instead, they are influenced by foreign films, contents and literature which often glorify disrespect to our culture; violence and weapon use. As a result, some have become political thugs, religious extremists or armed robbers. They now pose a severe threat to Nigeria’s national survival.
Furthermore, exposure to undesirable foreign cultures has led to extensive moral degradation which manifest in ways such as drug abuse, prostitution, theft, and internet fraud. Dressing among Nigerian youths is another concern. Many young people disregard their cultural heritage and show utmost disdain for their geographical environment. For example, some young women wear clothing that leaves vital parts of their bodies exposed, while young men adopt unkempt appearances, including sagging their trousers and leaving their shirts unbuttoned. There are also instances of unfastened shoelaces. These issues can be addressed through family-based cultural socialisation, where parents play a critical role in imparting cultural education. It is therefore recommended that, to address these social ills, the following measures are suggested. The first is that there should be ways to incorporate cultural education into the curriculum of our schools. Nigeria’s education system should be reviewed to emphasise cultural education, including the use of indigenous languages for instruction. Cultural elements such as morality, taboos, mores, and folktales should be promoted to shape human behaviour positively.
Another suggestion is that we should indigenise the Nigerian political systems. The political system should incorporate cultural principles and practices specific to Nigeria’s diverse cultural environments. This will encourage greater participation and accountability among political leaders. Thirdly, we must promote local content in media. A ban should be placed on the excessive use of foreign entertainment packages in media houses and on social media. Instead, Nigerian cultural content should be prioritised and promoted to reinforce cultural identity. Also, we must strengthen parental socialisation. Through this, families must embrace parental socialisation as a key method for imparting cultural education. Parents should model cultural values and behaviours to guide their children effectively. Cultural education is very essential for curbing social ills in Nigeria. By integrating it into our education system, political practices and media content, we can foster a society rooted in strong moral values and cultural heritage, thereby ensuring a strong and brighter future for generations to come.
Modupe is Chief Museum Education Officer, National Commission for Museums & Monuments, Osogbo, Osun State.
Veronica Adewole
2027 is sealed for Mr. President. When I say 18 over 18, it means we are going to deliver our 18 local governments to Mr. President.”
Reading the above statement by the governor of Edo State, Mr. Monday Okpebholo, one wonders what the future holds for Nigeria’s democracy. In any true democracy, the power to elect leaders rests solely in the hands of the people. This principle is the foundation of democracy, ensuring that governance is based on the will of the majority rather than the rule of a single individual or a privileged few. Unfortunately, in Nigeria political elites and influential figures attempt to manipulate the electoral process, undermining the will of the citizens. We often hear governors and some other politicians talking tough, boasting of how they would sweep all votes in an election. This practice not only weakens democracy but also fosters corruption, inefficiency, and a disconnect between leadership and the people’s actual needs.
Such statements suggest a predetermined outcome of an election rather than a free and fair electoral process. And in a democratic society such as our, this has several implications. Firstly, there is a threat to free and fair elections. Democracy thrives on competitive, transparent, and credible elections where citizens freely choose their leaders. The claim that all votes will go to one candidate suggests electoral manipulation, coercion, or suppression of opposition. Secondly, it portrays a disregard for voter choice. It is said that in a democracy, the electorates are the kings because they are supposed to have the power to determine who sits on any political seat. But when a governor claims that the votes to be cast in his state in the next two years are already meant for a particular candidate, it suggests that the election result is already determined, it makes voters feel powerless and discouraged to participate in politics.
Statements and actions like Okpobholo’s erode political pluralism. Democracy requires multiple parties competing fairly. Declaring total victory before an election dismisses the role of opposition parties and reduces political competition to a mere formality. The statement also raises concerns about potential election rigging, vote-buying, or manipulation of electoral institutions to favor one candidate, which damages public trust in the democratic system. If there are no plans to commit these electoral offences, how possible is it that all the numerous opposition parties, including the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) which just handed over power to the ruling party in Edo State will not win even a single local government area?
This idea of a government in power winning elections at all cost and making elections in Nigeria less competitive and predetermined outcomes is the reason institutions like the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), judiciary, and security agencies are seen as compromised.
This, no doubt, weakens our democracy. Another implication of Okpobholo’s rhetoric is that it can provoke political unrest, resistance from opposition parties, and loss of faith in democratic processes, leading to increased instability and potential conflicts. Nigeria is already soaked with too much political and economic tensions and cannot afford to have more due to the selfish interest of a few individuals. Another troubling trend is the growing influence of governors, party leaders, and other politicians in handpicking candidates for elections. Instead of allowing a free and fair process where citizens decide, these power brokers often impose their preferred candidates, who may not necessarily represent the interests of the people. Such interference leads to a leadership that is accountable not to the electorate but to the few individuals who orchestrated their rise to power.
Have we not seen enough of this in display where elected lawmakers both on the federal and state levels would choose to do the biddings of their masters in the executive arm of government over the interest of Nigerians who elected them? Former President, Olusegun Obasanjo while speaking on the failure of democracy in Africa recently aptly defined what we currently have in Nigeria thus, “Today we have democracy which is government of the people, of a small number of people, by a small number of people over a large number of people who are deprived of what they need to have in life.” Some people have come heavily on the former president and the former governor of Anambra State, Peter Obi who shared the same sentiment for daring to criticize the present-day practice of democracy in Nigeria when in their days in offices some of their actions accountable and effective leadership.
Additionally, the legal framework governing elections should be strengthened to ensure transparency. INEC and the states’ electoral umpire free from political interference, must oversee the entire process, guaranteeing that every vote counts and that the people’s choices are respected. Political parties should also be mandated to conduct primaries that genuinely reflect the will of their members, rather than serving as a mere formality for predetermined outcomes.Our elected leaders across board should be advised to face governance and deliver the dividends of democracy to Nigerians who put them in office instead of politicking all the time. It is about two years to the next general elections and the major preoccupation of the leaders seems to be plans and scheming of how to come back in office in 2027 instead of dealing with economic, insecurity, unemployment and other challenges facing the country. How can Nigeria move forward like that?
Calista Ezeaku
Look before you leap”, is one of the wise sayings that over the years I have been emotionally attached to. It means so much to me because the debilitating consequences of unguided actions are better imagined than experienced. “Look before you Leap” teaches me to be thoughtful, articulate, discreet dispassionate and solicit for advice of the experienced and reasonable people where necessary. I have seen people reveal their stark ignorance because they took decisions rashly and without considering the implications of their actions or inactions, only to say, “had I known” which is an euphemism for failure. It has therefore, become necessary to “look before you leap”. Rehoboam, son of Bible’s King Solomon lost 10 of a 12-tribe kingdom of lsrael to Jeroboam. The negative consequences of lack of conscientious and enlightened guide before taking action has landed many to avoidable regrets.
Thoughtless actions happen every day and they are evidenced in the unpleasant outcomes of such decision. In 2024, a Federal High Court, Abuja sacked 20 Cross River State House of Assembly members which serves as an object lesson for thoughtless Lawmakers’ and elected representatives who want to defect from the party on whose platform they were elected to a preferred political party, whether the choice was based on sound judgement, ignorance or pecuniary gains. The Electoral Act is unambiguous and crystal clear so does not make judicial interpretation necessary, on the ground for an elected representative to leave his or her political party for a preferred one either by inducement, anticipated pecuniary benefits or blind loyalty.And the sublime reason must be premised on irreconcilable crisis in the political party of those elected who want to decamp or cross-carpet
Recall that on Monday March 18, 2024 a Federal High Court in Abuja sacked 20 members of the Cross River State House of Assembly. The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) had instituted a suit against the lawmakers over their defection to the All Progressives Congress (APC). Ruling on the case marked “FHC/ABJ/CS/975/2021 , Taiwo Taiwo, the presiding judge, held that the lawmakers should vacate their seats, having abandoned the political party that sponsored them to power. The affected lawmakers are: Michael Etaba, Legor Idagbor, Eteng Jonah William, Joseph A. Bassey, Odey Peter Agbe, Okon E. Ephraim, Regina L. Anyogo, Matthew S. Olory, Ekpo Ekpo Bassey, Ogbor Ogbor Udop and Ekpe Charles Okon.Others are Hillary Ekpang Bisong, Francis B. Asuquo, Elvert Ayambem, Davis Etta, Sunday U. Achunekan, Cynthia Nkasi, Edward Ajang, Chris Nja-Mbu Ogar and Maria Akwaji.
The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), Speaker of the House of Representatives, National Assembly, Clerk of the National Assembly, Cross River State House of Assembly, Clerk of the Cross River State House of Assembly and the All Progressives Congress, were also joined as defendants in the suit. Though, in their defence, the lawmakers argued that there was rancour in the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP),which led to their expulsion from the party, the judge held that the defendants had intentions to mislead the court. He said he found gaps and loopholes in their defence as they tried to twist events to suit their own narratives.”They wined and dined under the umbrella of the plaintiff who also gave them shelter,” he said Taiwo noted that they not only defected loudly, “they took pictures of their defection and were received by the officials of the 26th defendant”.
“There is no doubt that the defendants can belong to or join any political association and assembly as they are free to do so,” he ruled. “I consider the attempts of the 6th – 25th defendants to justify their defection feeble in the circumstances of this case.” Taiwo said the public voted for the lawmakers through the plaintiff who sponsored them and they were not elected as independent candidates.”They had a vehicle which conveyed them and that vehicle belongs to the plaintiff. They cannot abandon the vehicle,” he held. Justice Taiwo’s judgment and several other judgments on thoughtless defections should have been a basis, landmark and precedent to determine whether the 27 Rivers State House of Assembly members elected on the platform of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), have the locus to publicly decamp to the All Progressives Congress (APC) and still retain their seats in the House as elected and honourable members of the House as declared by the Supreme Court in its Judgment on consolidated suits on the political crisis in Rivers State.
The judgment of the “learned” justices of the Supreme Court on the 27 defectors is a bitter pill to swallow. It is however, not a surprise because the aroma of the fart tells the substance of the poo. The wise man learns from the experiences of others and history. History repeats itself because people have refused to come to understanding. They are close-ended in learning. The essence of history is to avoid a reinvent of the negative past, use the ugly past to reconstruct the future. Legislators are elected to represent constituency consisting of people of all walks of life. They should rather strive to serve the people, solicit the consent of popular opinions on critical issues rather than serving their selfish interests. Those elected should see themselves as stewards and as stewards they are accountable to the people and God, not their political godfather.
It is high time our political leaders knew that the legitimacy of their positions is derived from the magnanimity of the people. They should therefore not take decisions without taking into cognisance the interest of the people they are representing, through intentional consultation.
By: Igbiki Benibo