Social/Kiddies
Effect Of Pornography On Children’s Health
One social vice bedevilling children and adolescents in the world currently is the issue of addiction to pornography. It has assumed a frightening dimension as the recent upsurge in rape and other sexual assault cases are remotely linked to the unlimited access to pornographic materials to impressionable minds.
Pornography is the representation of sexual behaviour in books, pictures, status, films and other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement.
Exposure to pornography harms children and youth by normalising sexual violence and creating unrealistic behaviours.
Consequently, child pornography is on the increase globally and this is a real problem. It is a ‘big deal’ and has significant consequences on the future of children.This problem has increased because of the use of the internet and smart phones.
According to statistics, in 2008, the internet marketing firm, Hitwise, reported that globally, 40,634 web sites distributed pornographic materials. A report according to PornHub in 2020, the word “teen” topped the pornography mega site’s search terms for over six years running, making child pornography one of the fastest growing online businesses with over 55 percent of victims just 10 years old or younger.
In 2010,survey of English students between 14 and 16 years old, almost one third claimed that their first exposure to internet pornography was at 10 years. In a 2011 survey, 31 percent of adolescent boys admitted visiting websites that are intended as Adults only.
In 2012, Australian study of pornography users found out that the first exposure of children was between the ages of 11 and 13 years old. Also, in 2017, Australian Institute of Family Studies in a research by Antonia Quasars and Alissar El- Murr, revealed that nearly half of children between the ages of 9 and 16 experience regular exposure to sexual images. Moreso, young males are more likely than females to deliberately seek out pornography and they do so frequently.
In Nigeria, internet pornography has continued to grow.Nigeria is a signatory to several international and legal instruments in the involvement of children in pornography. Nigeria has no national laws prohibiting pornography,but, the Cybercrime (Prohibiting Prevention) Act in 2015 only bans child pornography.
Currently, Nigeria has the highest number of internet pornography viewers of any country in Africa.According to reports, Nigerian youths secretly watch pornography and have become addicted largely unknowingly. Available statistics show that among Nigerian children, primary consumers of pornography are boys between the ages of 12 and 17 which might be due to the children’s reliance on pornography as primary source of sex education.
According to a counsellor, Justina Amalokwu, “for decades, Nigerian parents have become reluctant to talk about sex with their children . Maybe they are religious or uncomfortable about the topic . This reluctance has pushed many children to turn to the internet for lectures and demonstration on sex. When they go online, they easily get to porn sites”.
Recently, the United Nations International Children’s Educational Fund (UNICEF) in a statement, stated that it was alarmed by the massive quantity of pornography available online, including graphic and extreme content that is easily accessible to children of all ages. It also stated that efforts to regulate content and restrict children’s access to pornography have not kept pace with technological shifts.
UNICEF however, supports the efforts of government round the world to ensure that children and young people are protected from harmful content in accordance with the convention on the rights of the child and the authoritative guidance from the committee in the Rights of the child .
The American College of Paediatricians on their part has urged healthcare professionals worldwide to communicate the risk of pornography use to parents and their families and to offer resources both to protect their children from viewing pornography and to treat individuals suffering from its negative effects.It said that children under 12 years old, who have viewed pornography, are statistically more likely to sexually assault their peers and these children are at the risk of a broad range of maladaptive behaviours and psychopathology.
A recent primary research article in JAMA psychiatry, shows that pornography consumption is associated with decreased left striatua activation and lower functional connectivity to the prefrontal cortex. Also,smaller grey matter volume in the viewers can cause down regulation of the brain’s response to erotic material. These neural changes in the brains of pornography users are similar to changes seen in the brains of individuals addicted to cocaine, alcohol and methamphetamines. These cause mental disturbance and unrest for the young school age child .
The Association advises that since the internet is the primary medium for pornography exposure, computers should be equipped with internet filtering and monitory software to reduce exposure. “There are variety of parental controls and filtering systems available to parents and some current software vendors offering filtering and monitoring of smart phones which are now the primary technology used by adolescents to access the internet. Also, there are software services which offer the ability to create accountability partnerships so as to increase the success of breaking free from pornography addiction”, the Association noted.
A clinical/school social worker, Danny Huerta, over the years observed that pornography leaves children incredibly stunted in their growth and maturity and enslaved to pleasure and consumption, depriving them of healthy sexuality for their marriages for society and for generations to come. He added that pornography triggers the body production of oxytocin, which is the bonding activity between a husband and wife. The more it is used outside the design, the more confused and washed down the ability to bond.
He urged parents to help their children learn how and why to guard their hearts and minds which are their springs of life and to help them see that there is more to life than sex.
Another Child counsellor, Jennifer Michelle Greenberg, said that the consequences of pornography can be disastrous.
“Porn can stay in your head forever. It is very hard to get these images out of your head. They are burned in your memory like a brand.” She adivised parents to protect their children by teaching them about sex before someone else does.
“According to her, “make it clear to them that if they have any questions or concerns, they can come to you and you won’t be upset. Tell your children that photos and videos of sex and nudity are wrong and teach them what God’s word says about their bodies”.
“Be aware that many children encounter pornography at the home of a friend or neighbour. Monitor your children online activities and texts. Know what websites they visit, who they are talking to and what their passwords are. Be aware of the images they are taking of themselves and sharing ,”she said.
There is no doubt that exposure of children and adolescents to pornographic materials is harmful to their development and societal growth. Victims of early exposure to such things often end up addicted to it and they tend to want to have multiple sex partners. They are encouraged by what they see to engage in unsafe sexual practices.
It is important that parents give their children moral and sex education from early stages of life. Also, education about internet safety is key in achieving parental control.
Government also has a greater role to play by enforcing laws concerning exposure of children to pornographic materials. It is often a common sight of children and adolescents watching rated videos shown by video rental shops across Nigeria.
Furthermore, introduction of moral and sex education in the curriculum of primary and secondary schools will go a long way in curbing this unhealthy trend and save our youths and the society at large from the menace of pornography.
Ibinabo Ogolo
Social/Kiddies
Children And Basics Of Family
It is the idea of God that family should exit. Children form part of the family. God loves family so much that Jesus was born into the family of Joseph.
Everyone’s family is good and important. Children should not look down on their family whether they are rich or poor.
Children should respect and honour their family and foster love among their siblings. They should work together and make peace in the family. They should always stand in the gap. It is good for family members to carry all along since everyone may not be doing well.
The Christianity that children learn is practised in family. Faith-based organisations do a great job in moulding children’s character. Those are the behaviours that children exhibit towards siblings in family.
Every child born in a family is there for a purpose. A baby born into a family is supplying something. It may be joy, wealth and so on. Everyone is important in a family.
Adolescents who have graduated from school but may not be contributing financially can do one or two things at home. You can engage in preparing meals at home while parents are away for a job or business. Contributing in house chores will go a long way to relieve parents of stress after a day’s job.
What do you contribute to your family, especially during holidays both in nuclear and extended family?
The family you were born is constant but friends are temporary. You can decide not to continue in friendship but you cannot cut off your family. No matter how bad you think your family is and you decide to leave home, you must surely return. Your friends can harbour you for a while.
The child’s first identity comes from the family. What the child learns first comes from the family.
Family is the centre of love and care. People have started playing down on marriage because of neglect on basics of family. Marriage starts today and and the next few months, it is threatened. Respect for family plays a crucial role in marriage.
No child grows without parental control and influence. If a child refuses to grow without taking instructions from parents, he may grow up being wild. There are consequences when children do not obey their parents. There are those who want to be rebellious against their parents. They should know that their length of days are tied to their parents.
Your bioligical parents know you more than every other person. There is the wisdom and knowledge your parents have that you do not so it is proper to listen to them before choosing carriers both in academics and job. A young man or woman can choose who to get married to, but a greater role in the choice of who to marry and the marriage proper comes from the parents.
They know what is best for you. No matter how modern trends will influence you and prove it wrong, parent is the key. No one can love you more than your parents because they are your blood.
A lot of parents have been traumatised due to the fact that children they nurtured and trained turned their back on them at older age. Children should not abandon their parents for any reason.
As you grow up, situations may arise in marriage when you decide it is over with your spouse, but no matter the level of provocation with your parents, they will not despise you. Parents will also play a role in that regard. Problem arises in every family but how it is handled matters a lot.
Some children honour their mentors more than their parents. Although there are parents who shy away from their responsibilities. It is important that parents take full responsibility of their children. You cannot bring a child to the planet earth and refuse to perform roles as a parent. But parents may not quantify what they spent from childhood to adolescence. That is a blessing children cannot get from another person.
There are people who have attributed their failure in life to the fact that their parents, especially mothers are witchcraft. It is wrong to feel that your mother is instrumental to your failure in life. The only way to success is hardwork.
Let money not determine the level of love for your parents. Wherever a child goes, family is constant.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
Social/Kiddies
Who Should Name A Child?
Naturally, when a child is born, it is the role of the father and mother to decide a suitable name for the child. The husband and wife normally discuss and suggest the English or vernacular name of the baby.
But sometimes, when a baby comes into a family, grandparents hearts are usually filled with joy to the extent that they want to answer present, by giving their own names not minding the fact that the biological parents have given theirs.
This happens mostly when the marriage is an inter-tribal one. It also happens even in intra-tribal marriage. Grandparents want equal representation as far as naming a child is concerned. They also have special names as a result of circumstances surrounding the birth of the child.
This is still happening till date.
A lot of people have viewed this in different ways but there is nothing wrong about it. The most important thing is that the child bears as many names as he or she can. But one thing is certain, the child must bear one name in school.
Should circumstance determine a child’s name?
Women who are more emotional are always eager to name their children considering the circumstances surrounding the child’s conception and arrival.
The issue of grandparents naming a child comes up mostly when it is the first of the family.
In naming children by some parents in the olden days, they named their children according to the days in the week in which they were born, like Sunday, Monday, Friday and so on.
You may be shocked to hear that whether a child is given 10 names by parents or grandparents, when he or she grows up, will decide to change. There are several cases where some persons decided to change especially when they feel that the names given by their parents and grandparents do not give them joy. If they are not doing well in life, they may claim that their misfortune is caused by the name their parents.
Social/Kiddies
Children’s Performance Can Make Or Mar Them
Competition among children in schools be it primary, (kindergarten) and secondary come in different forms. It can be Mathematics , debate, quiz, spelling bee,competition, from organisations like Cowbell, multi-national companies, faith-based organisations among others.
They are organised mostly for selected intelligent ones, the best among their peers to represent a class, school or group. Prizes are normally set aside for the best as well as consolation prizes for runners-up at the end of each session.
The question is, are children willing to accept defeat when they fail? As parents, guardians, can you encourage your children or wards to accept defeat instead of shouting and comparing them with others who may be performing better either in schools or outside.
Some parents may be blaming their children for not doing well in competitions. They will like to tell their children if others who may perform better have ten heads. Those group of parents blame their children for every failure.
For your children to do better in competition, the parents too must have emotional intelligence. When you continue to blame your children for failure, how intelligent are you?
Some parents always want their children to be in the 1st position and unhappy whenever they secure 2nd position. There were instances where children smashed their trophies because they never got the position they wanted to get and their parents supported them.
Children should be able to accept it whether they win or not. They should be encouraged for every performance. Discourage the issue of “shame, shame, shame, shame”.
A parent says she always tells her children to win even if they will fail. Always give them the mentality that they can win. Children should be given the impression that they can win prizes and laurels in every competition.
Parents should not isolate their children from others in the neighbourhood. Allow them to play with others. Don’t threaten your children that you may not pay their schools fees if they fail. Comparing them with others may encourage or discourage them.
Coming first or getting award as a first class student from the university sometimes does not mean that the person is the best. And if the child does not merit any award in the lower classes, does not mean that he can not merit first class also.
It should be noted that coming first in academic competition may not really mean that the competitor will be the best at work place or business.
Accepting defeat is a way to move higher. Even if a child who competed with others did not come first, there are consolation prizes for runners-up. When you advise the child to accept defeat, you are encouraging her to win in next competition.
Remember all children cannot be on the same knowledge level Their learning abilities defer.
Eunice Choko-Kayode